NCIS · Season 3
I'm confused.
So am I, and I saw the DVD twice.
The Sound of Music confuses you, Probie.
I love that movie!
[She opens her mouth to sing, Tony claps a hand over her mouth.]
One note, and I will lock you in a room and make you listen to "It's A Small World" for twenty-four hours straight. Do we understand each other?
[muffled] Mmm-hmm.
[Interrogating a ship's captain, Ziva plucks away his cigar.]
[in Turkish, under his breath] Bitch...
{confused} What did he say?
[in Turkish] How would you like this bitch to apply that cigar to your testicles?
Now what did you say?
That I understood him.
Ducky, drip it!
Do you mean: Drop it or Zip it?
Ah, American idioms drive me up the hall.
Well, actually... never mind.
[McGee doesn't want to go into the room where the explosion happened, and Tony gives him a job to do outside]
[as he's leaving] On it, boss!
[smiles] I do love it when he calls me boss.
Is that why you're being nice to him?
I'm not being nice. Lugging foot lockers is probie work. [Ziva gives him a knowing look] ...All right, I cut the probie some slack.
What are you not telling me?
What do you mean?
You have that three-little-pigs-look.
What?
The three little pigs. They were afraid to open the door because the big bad wolf was outside.
I don't know what are you talking about. (Something rings...)
Wow... this is definitely going on my wall. (Ziva walks in)
I should be a professional photographer!
The Director hasn't called.
About?
About?! Gibbs!
Oh...
She didn't call you, did she?
No.
Because, you know, the way you're acting, you might have just, I don't know, forgotten to tell.
Ziva, do you notice anything different in here?
No music.
That's it! No music. (He looks at Abby) You know, you usually play music in here...
What if those were Gibbs' guts smooshed all over that room?
Oh, for God's sake, Abby, they're not.
What if they were?!
The color would be more coffee-brown than red.
(Abby slaps her on the face, Ziva slaps her back, Abby slaps her again and so does Ziva. McGee looks shocked).
(to Tony) You sound like Gibbs.
Positive thoughts, positive thoughts, positive thoughts!
Abby! Front and center. You too, Ziva. Let's go! I know what happened.
[Abby and Ziva start talking at the same time.]
Hey! If there's going to be any bitch slapping on this team, I'll do it. Clear? Good. Now shake hands. Shake.
[Abby and Ziva reluctantly shake hands]
There we go. That wasn't so tough, was it? Now how about a little hug? Big buddy hug. Come on.
[They hug.]
Now a deep tongue kiss.
[Both women hit Tony.]
Now we feel better.
Shouldn't he be awake by now?
You know Gibbs. He keeps his own schedule. Do you know what REM is?
Sure. Rapid Eye Movement. It happens when you're asleep and dreaming.
That's what it looks like he's doing now.
Oh well, that's gotta be a good sign right?
If it isn't a nightmare.
(to Palmer) My father used to say "You must live for today; because yesterday is gone, and tomorrow may never come."
[Interrogating a ship's captain, Ziva plucks away his cigar.]
[in Turkish, under his breath] Bitch...
[confused] What did he say?
[in Turkish] Want to see this bitch take that cigar to your testicles?
Wait, what'd you say?
That I understood him.
(Ziva remembers the idiom from 3.08)
Oh! Listen to the pot call the kettle black. Got that right, didn't I?
No.
(McGee gives her a thumbs-up)
Yes!
You know what that means?
The director's taking over the investigation.
Probably, but I was thinking if Gibbs doesn't remember the last 15 years, he'll be a probie.
Gibbs would never let her take over.
Not the old Gibbs... "Probie Gibbs"?? (Tony jumps up, running after Director Shepard)
(Ziva and Gibbs are talking in hospital room.)
We work together?
Yes. I'm a Mossad officer attached to your team.
Mossad? When did they start doing that...
It's been a year.
Don't feel bad, I worked for that...
Ducky 10 years and you don't remember him!
Do you always finish people sentenc...
Only when I'm in a hurry.
My gut tells me we're missing something.
Gibbs?
Yeah. Gibbs.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's NCIS pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
