TV show quotes
[rants to Gibbs] What is this? Victorian England? The men with their cigars and brandy while the ladies sip tea in another room? To replace me because I shave my legs and not my face is unconscionable and certainly not in the best interests of the case.
[calmly] You claustrophobic?
No.
[smiles] Good. [walks away]
I'm going?!
Don't forget to wax.
(puts a bottle of water in front of Kate) Drink.
What's with all the water?
You got to stay hydrated on a submarine!
All you've had me doing is hydrating!
Drink it! (after she has drunk a mouthful) So how's your bladder?
(shocked at her boss asking her that) What?
The COB's at the end of the passageway keeping an eye on us! You've got to distract him! (she looks at him as if to say "carry on") You're gonna need help working the toilet!
Gibbs...
Kate. On a submarine it's a very complicated piece of machinery!
Is that why you've been shoving water down my throat for the past hour?
I want to check out Petty Officer Thompson!
Well you don't have to drown me. You could just ask!
Hydrating's good for ya. Go un-hydrate!
(turns to face him) I've never heard it called that before!
(shooing her out the door, whispers) Go on!
Normally I hate priority rides, but who cares if it's going to...
What's wrong with priority rides?
C'mon boss. You tellin' me you like sitting on canvas seats slung between cargo pallets?
Yeah, it makes me feel like I'm back in the Corps.
[Later]
[laughs, while on a Gulfstream Aircraft] I love priority rides. Boss, this is the best.
I miss canvas seats.
Did I say both of you?
Well, you didn't not say both of us, Gibbs.
Yes, she's kinda got a point there, boss.
Perfume is expensive, Gibbs. I can't just hang out at the Macy's tester tray with my lab kit. They frown on that sort of behavior.
[Later on in the investigation]
Perfume is the most powerful accessory a woman can wear.
How much did all this power cost us?
Around fifteen hundred.
Fifteen hundred DOLLARS???
[naked, to an Iguana that crawled into bed with him, with gun drawn] Halt!
[Kate and Gibbs hear him and rush in the room, guns drawn until noticing what happened]
[speechless]
I need coffee.
I think Sa'id copied Paula's key without her knowing it.
Now which brain is thinking that, DiNozzo?
(visibly angry with Gibbs) I'm hitting the rack.
Something's wrong. The files are too big.
[chuckles] Not just the files.
My cursor has moved across places that would make Tony blush.
Why is that women always want to fix what doesn't need fixing?
Makes us feel all warm inside.
So does scotch, but it doesn't cost you a house.
See if you can brand the cologne.
Why, you want some?
Nope, don’t use cologne. The women I date think the smell of sawdust is sexy. Probably why i don’t date many women.
[Tony runs into Gibbs in the elevator and accidentally spills his coffee]
[sternly] You had better have a good reason for spilling my coffee.
I do. [frantically wiping Gibbs' shirt] I booked us on the first, uh-- [Gibbs smacks Tony's hand] flight to Gitmo tomorrow...
Unbook it.
Haha! I knew it!
Navy's giving us a priority ride today.
You mean it? [Gibbs looks at him] You do mean it. Normally I hate priority rides, but who cares if it's going to...
What's wrong with priority rides?
C'mon boss. You tellin' me you like sitting on canvas seats slung between cargo pallets?
Yeah, it makes me feel like I'm back in the Corps.
[Later]
[laughs, while on a Gulfstream jet] I love priority rides. Boss, this is the best!
I miss canvas seats.
[flirtatiously] Miss me?
Like herpes.
[naked, to an Iguana that crawled into bed with him, with gun drawn] Halt!
[Kate and Gibbs hear him and rush in the room, guns drawn until noticing what happened]
[speechless]
I need coffee.
No!
It's the only room with a bath! Men take showers and women take baths!
Why does the woman thing come up when the ship is sinking? (sarcastically) Or when there's one room with a bath!
[Gibbs heads for the room with the bathtub that Kate and Tony were fighting over and throws Kate and Tony's bags into the hallway.]
Talk to ya mañana!
Gibbs'll get in. He's got clearance that'll let him see the dead aliens buried in Area 51.
Because he probably killed them.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's NCIS pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
