TV show quotes
What's your clearance?
Confidential.
Confidential? What'd you do? Kill someone in high school?
Hah. Funny, Kate. They screwed up my paperwork with another agent.
Yeah, DiNozzo died in a car crash last month. Very tragic.
They yanked my clearance and now I have to take a physical to get it back.
Why is that?
To prove that I'm still alive.
[At the shooting range Gibbs tapes Tony's hat on his target]
[protesting] Ah c'mon, boss. I've been breaking that cap in for three months. I love that cap.
Then don't shoot it.
Back this up? [tapes Kate's PDA to her target]
[protests] Ah, no no no, Gibbs. Come on, my whole life is in that thing.
Then don't shoot it. [walks away]
[to Tony] If we screw this up, I have a suggestion.
What?
We break into Gibbs' basement and set the boat on fire.
That's cold, Kate. I knew there was a reason I liked you.
Fire. Let's see how you do under pressure.
I'll bring the lighter fluid.
Deal.
[Later]
Very cool. Where can I get one of these? [admires Tony's bullet hole ridden cap]
You can have that one.
The eyes need to be bigger.
The eyes are fine, the nose needs to be bigger.
Fine, I'll put out an APB for Pinocchio.
Welcome to my world, Abby.
What does he want the LES for?
Kate, that's NCIS 101.
You have no idea.
Not a clue.
Is he really sleeping or is that just an act?
Oh, he's sleeping.
How can you tell?
He looks peaceful.
[Later]
Morning. Sleep well?
If you consider throwing up violently all night and being thrown around like a couple of rag dolls...
...then yes, we slept very well, Boss. Thanks for asking.
We sure screwed that up.
Yep, still doesn't explain the cover-up and fake colonel.
They're called classified ops for a reason, Tony. We'll probably never know.
The phone call? Your calling plan include the afterlife, Kate?
Voice recognition isn't an exact science.
Neither is Gibbs' gut. And he's convinced there's more going on here than a crank call.
Well, I hate to break it to you, Tony, but Gibbs can be wrong sometimes.
Name once.
He has been married, like, four times.
There is that.
There is what?
Nothing, boss. Just, uh, discussing the case.
Or a lack thereof. You still wanna take a look at those LES's?
I don't know. You figured out how Kidwell died yet?
I'll, um… I'll just get them in order for you.
Kate? It was three times, not four.
Phone Rings
(on phone) Gibbs.
(on phone) I don't appreciate being interrogated, Agent Gibbs.
(on phone) Well why don't we start with, who is this?
(Begin Telephone Intercuts)
(on phone) Lisa Peary. Don't you think I would have told you if Jim Kidwell called me?
(on phone) Well, exactly who is interrogating you, Mrs. Peary?
(on phone) He said his name's Agent DiNozzo.
(on phone) When did this happen?
(on phone) He's here right now.
(on phone) Where?
(on phone) Coleman Park.
(on phone) I'll be there in fifteen minutes. Does he know...I'm on the phone talking to you?
(on phone) No, I don't think so.
(on phone) See if you can't keep him there until I get there.
Mrs. Peary.
Ah, I tried to keep him here but I think he knew something was up.
Does this look like the man?
Yes. If he doesn't work for NCIS, who does he work for?
I don't know but I promise you I'm going to find out. Which way did he go?
Five minutes ago. Wearing a black windbreaker.
Take your kids home. I'll be in touch.
[Gibbs, Tony and Kate are looking at photos of the suspect and victims]
We know Kidwell was murdered.
And that lying sack of excrement is somehow involved.
(eating a sandwich) I would just like to go on the record and say "I really miss the Gulf Stream we took to Gitmo" (notices Kate with her head in a bag so puts his sandwich next to her mouth) You hungry?
(groans as she's sick some more) Tony! Do I look hungry to you?
Well, No! Actually you look kind of...
(gasps) Tell me that's normal!
That is! (the plane drops suddenly and Kate freaks) Now that I'm not too sure about!
(groans in fear) How long till we get to Colombia?
(swallowing his sandwich) Oh not long! (sees Kate's look of relief) Five, six hours tops!
(swallows a mouthful of water, looks at Gibbs sleeping across from them) Is he really sleeping or is that just an act?
Oh, he's sleeping.
How can you tell?
He looks peaceful.
[Later]
(yawns and stretches) Morning. Sleep well?
If by "well" you mean violently throwing up all night and being bounced around like rag dolls...
...then yes, we slept very well, Boss. Thanks for asking.
You'll get used to it!
That's what I'm afraid of!
Agent Gibbs? We'll be landing in about fifteen minutes! (passes Gibbs a cup of coffee)
Thanks! My compliments to the pilot!
(stands up and looks around)
Uh...What ya looking for Kate?
The ladies room!
(snickers)
Okay then the Men's room!
There's no "Men's room".
Then how the hell am I supposed to go to the bathroom? (Gibbs passes her a plastic bag) Oh no! Forget it! I can wait! (Gibbs smiles at her then she sticks her hand out for the bag) Damn it! Where?
If you want some privacy...I'd go behind those big boxes over there!
God I miss Air Force One!
Fell asleep working on your boat again?
Why'd you say that, DiNozzo?
Boss, I know the farm report when I hear it.
So I suppose you want me to find out what chastity belt this opens.
Do I look like DiNozzo?
Not funny, boss. Besides I can open a chastity belt.
Did you ever see one? Mine's awesome, eighteenth century French.
You have a chastity belt?
So much more information than I need to know about Abby.
Tests? On a Navy ship?
If I heard there were gonna be tests on a Navy ship you think we'd still be standing here?
Oh, forgot. Your minds work concurrently.
You remember when I stayed with you that time when it didn't really go so well.
Yeah, I remember, DiNozzo.
Well, I was younger then, immature, a little unfocused.
It was six months ago, Tony.
[on cell phone] No you will not put her picture on TV. I want whoever did this to think she's still dead. No, Kate, no. Our priority is finding the bomb. [closes phone] She's bonded.
Kate and Jane Doe?
Oh yeah. She hasn't even questioned her yet, 'Her eyes they just pleaded for help'.
Love that look in a woman.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's NCIS pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
