Above his mattress, below his mattress, inside his mattress. If there's such a thing as a fourth mattress dimension, go over that too.
S1 E6High Seas
GSGibbs's voicemail
Gibbs. Talk.
SBStan Burley's voicemail message
Gibbs! Stan Burley. Put down whatever the hell you're doing with that stupid boat and pick up! I'm working a case on the Enterprise. Sure could use some help on this one. Really could use your help Boss.
[Gibbs and Tony, with Kate behind, are making their way to the plane]
Just accept the fact that you're gonna get lost.
Why do you assume I'm going to?
Because everyone does. [Gibbs looks back at Kate] A carrier's a big and confusing place first time on board.
Duly noted.
Numbers are stenciled on the bulkhead. First one tells you the deck level, they're called bullseyes.
Deck level.
Second one, the frame number. Third tells the compartment's position in relation to the ship's center line. Last letter tells you what the space is used for.
Crossing from port to starboard to starboard to port isn't as simple as going straight across.
Sometimes you gotta go up one deck and down another.
Or down one deck and up another.
Sometimes two.
Frustrating.
Not to mention confusing. [smiles at Kate] But you'll get the hang of it.
[Kate is looking confused and overwhelmed]
After you get lost a few times.
[Kate nervously looks on]
Ya know what, I'm trying to help you out here, Petty Officer. You try to float this story at your court martial hearing, they will laugh your ass all the way to Leavenworth!
Petty Officer!
Ma'am?
You just came out of the urinaloger's office!
I hope not! I just had a haircut in there!
(downhearted) Go on! Tell me how many bulk heads, passage ways and corridors in to go to traverse there!
It's right next door!
Of course it is! Thank you (pissed off) Petty Officer!
You know, in the two years I've worked for Gibbs, he's never shaken my hand once. Never.
BBurley
I was in the office two years before he even looked me in the eye.
Really!
BBurley
Three years before he called me by name, four till he got it right. By then I'd actually gotten used to "Steve". [Burley and Tony laugh] He must really like you.
S1 E7Sub Rosa
[after she spills Gibbs' coffee] What do you put in your coffee?
Coffee.
Okay...I'll...just go down the hall and get you another cup.
That's...not coffee.
[after Gibbs storms out]
I've never experienced Gibbs without his morning coffee. We're in uncharted waters here, Kate.
I've heard stories about Special Agent Gibbs.
Only half of them are true...the trick is figuring out which half.
....to replace me because I shave my legs and not my face is unconscionable and certainly not in the best interests of the case.
You claustrophobic?
No.
Good. [walks away]
I'm going?!
Don't forget to wax.
Go and un-hydrate.
I never heard it called that before.
[after DiNozzo throws a rock through a window to illegally gain entrance to a house]
That's breaking and entering.
No. That was breaking... and this is entering.
[after an emergency blow to the surface aboard a submarine] Wow...
Yeah, that's what they all tell me.
Listen kid, I don't want to hurt your feelings, but you're not exactly Abby's type.
I've taken care of that. Remember that urge you were talking about?
[nods]
I went with Mom.
[stands there in shock, realizing McGee just got a tattoo on his butt to impress Abby]
[Later]
I wonder what he said to make Tony speechless?
He told him he got a tat on his ass.
[Gapes at the elevator McGee just entered]
[A group of environmental activists are outside the base protesting the use of sonar]
Whale-huggers?
GGuard
Yes, sir. Been doing this for weeks.
Why don't you just shoot them?
GGuard
I'd be tempted.
Let's pay a visit to the submarine squadron commander. [walks away]
You'll wanna avoid Captain Veitch.
[stops in his tracks, turns to McGee] What?
Um, I met him once before... and he can be very difficult.
[Gibbs walks towards McGee]
[into McGee's face] And you don't think I could be difficult?
[intimidated] I'm sure you can, sir.
[Kate and Tony smile at each other]
These quotes come from Wikiquote's NCIS pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.