Ziva David quotes from NCIS

Tony

(mutters) Crazy chick...

Ziva

(sleepily) I heard that, my little Hairy Butt.

Ducky

There doesn't seem to be any permanent damage. How many times did he hit you?

Tony

I wasn't counting.

Ziva

Seven times.

Tony

She was, of course.

Ziva

It was hard not to.

Ziva

I'm driving you home. [jangles Tony's keys and smiles]

Tony

Probie. [looks hopefully to McGee]

McGee

Ah, Ziva, actually I should probably drive him home tonight.

Ziva

Why is that?

Abby

Maybe he wants to live.

Tony

Someone's setting me up.

Gibbs

Two surgically removed legs dumped into a training area? Do ya think?

Tony

Yeah. I was... trying to think of arrestees with grudges.

Ziva

Wouldn't they all have grudges?

Tony

You see my dilemma.

McGee

[reading over Tony's shoulder] Mike Macaluso?

Gibbs

He's a Mafia boss DiNozzo busted in Baltimore.

Tony

They get a little touchy when they think of you as family and you turn out to be a cop.

Abby

What about that forensics dweeb that you got fired?

Tony

I didn't arrest him, Abby.

Abby

Yeah, but you really, really, really pissed him off.

Tony

[to Ziva, teasing] You set this up, didn't you?

Ziva

I would never...! Okay, maybe I would, but I didn't.

Ziva

We've been barking up the wrong tree the entire investigation.

Tony

Bush.

Ziva

Sorry. Barking up the wrong... bush?

Tony

[grins] Tree.

Ziva

[slams Petri against the wall] We have a warrant now.

For what? I didn't do anything wrong.

Ziva

No? I can think of at least two things. Framing an NCIS agent for murder, and really, really, really pissing him off. [nods toward Gibbs]

Ziva

Mike Macaluso...still in jail! My sources say: His family is very happy about it!

McGee

(on the phone) How is it you've been in this country a month and already you've got sources?

Ziva

Who says my sources are from this country, McGee?

McGee

Boss, do you really not know what coitus interruptus means?

Gibbs

Better question, do you know what it means if you haven't located Stewart? (McGee runs off in fear)

Ziva

(leaning against the wall) My father used to say (speaks in Hebrew) אש קטנה שורפת הרבה תירס

Gibbs

Translate.

(walks up to an unsuspecting Gibbs) "A little fire burns a great deal of corn"!

Gibbs

(not understanding the phrase she said) What?

It never really made sense to me either!

Ziva

It loses something in translation...director.

Ziva

Halligan's on the goat. Oh, no! Not goat. Sheep?

McGee

Lam?

Ziva

That's it.

Tony

He's on the lam. There's no “B” in that, by the way.

Ziva

Thank you.

McGee

I killed a cop arresting a drug lord?

Ziva

His goose is cooked.

Tony

You would get that one right.

Tony

[Referring to Ziva teasing him] You're enjoying this a lot, aren't you?

Ziva

Oh... Yes.

Ziva

Background check on the cop McGee killed, didn't come up with anything. He drank a little too much, had three ex-wives.

Gibbs

Yeah well, that does not make him a bad person.

Abby

Rule number 8 is going to save you McGee!

Tony

Never date a coworker?

Ziva

Never go anywhere without your knife.

Tony

Thought that was 9.

Gibbs

Never take anything for granted.

Ziva

Oh, Le-Aza-Zel!

Tony

There's that word again!

Ziva

Interpool just picked up Halligan entering Morocco!