TonyWhat were you having feelings about? You just said you were having feelings.
I said that I have feelings, not that I am having feelings.
That is a pretty sophisticated grammatical differentiation.
Tony
Don't change the subject with your big words, McNerd. Ziva says she had a feeling. Tell us about this feeling. What was this feeling?
I felt... overwhelmed. Temporarily. Which does not often happen to me. When we were wrestling with Werth.
[Tony and McGee look at each other]
Tony
Nothing. [Ziva goes back to working, Tony and McGee smile] You like him.
No I am saying he is stronger than any man I have encountered. But strength should not decide a battle. There is a weapon for every fight.
You itchin' for a rematch?
Tony
Wanna roll around on the ground with him some more?
I am trying to describe something -- complicated.
Tony
It's not complicated, Ziva. It's Conan.
Tony
Nice.
Tony
You had a moment. A moment and a feeling. And a smack to the head, broken nose, dislocated shoulder. It's been a banner day.
Easy on the painkillers, DiNozzo.
Tony
When you're dealing with a guy on the run, you gotta climb inside his head, think his thoughts. What would he do? Where would he go?
Did one armed man murder his wife?
Tony
Would he dress up like a clown and join a traveling circus, like Jimmy Stewart in The Greatest Show on Earth?
Do any of your ideas come from reality?
Tony
Sure. Just not your reality.
Could you try to zero in on Werth's reality?
Tony
Considering the dude skipped the looney bin, maybe a little bit of non-linear fuzzy logic is the key to tracking him.
Maybe he was accused of a crime he didn't commit and is trying to promptly escape to the Los Angeles underground.
Tony
[stares at McGee] He's not The A-Team, McGee.
[Werth has a seizure, Ziva administers a shot of adrenaline. Tony and McGee are watching on the security cameras.]
Tony
[alarmed] She's pulling a Pulp Fiction...
[McGee and Ziva are debating who should be the one to plant a bug in a mosque]
If I flip you, you will get hurt.
Tony
[whispers] You can take her, McGee.
Tony
[watching Langer leave] What an ass.
[looking down admiringly] Yes, indeed.
Tony
You're Langer-leering. You're leering at Langer.
Tony
He -- he's not cute, he's --
[puts her finger over Tony's mouth] Shh. Don't speak.
Tony
[impressed] Bullets Over Broadway. Woody Allen.
Very good, Tony. You get a B in my class.
Tony
I could teach your class.
[Tony, digging through Ziva's desk, has just discovered a "Movies for Dummies" book]
Tony
Ah-ha!
[snatches it out of his hand] I have killed for less.
Tony
You cheated!
Tony
This is a book about movies. I bet you didn't even see those movies. You just read this book.
Tony
I like movies.
Do not quote books, I will not quote movies.
Tony
What if it's a book that's been turned into a movie?
[McGee and Ziva are debating who should be the one to plant a bug in a mosque]
Alright, then we’ll flip for it.
If I flip you, you will get hurt.
Tony
[whispers] You can take her, Probie.
[Tony, digging through Ziva’s desk, has just discovered a "Movies for Morons" book]
Tony
Ah-ha!
[snatches it out of his hand] I have killed for less.
Tony
You cheated.
Tony
Yes you did! That is a book about movies! I bet you never saw all those movies. You just read the book.
Tony
I like movies.
Do not quote books, I will not quote movies.
Tony
What if it’s a book that’s been made into a movie?
Tony
Any good tips? On the case?
DSDet. Sparr
You're here because I didn't return your call.
Tony
It would have been nice, yeah.
DSDet. Sparr
Well, when I'm in the middle of an investigation, I don't return social calls.
Tony
What makes you think it was social?
DSDet. Sparr
The way you stared at my ass the other day.
Tony
How do you know my interest in your ass wasn't purely professional?
[McGee is walking along the street wearing an earpiece. Tony is watching him from an apartment speaking to him through the earpiece.]
Tony
I'm starvin' like Lee Marvin, McGee! What's taking you so long?
Just making another deal.
Tony
We're here to find out who stole Navy radar. Stash kid across the street, he's not our problem unless he's pushing steak and cheese hoagies.
I'm a sworn federal agent, Tony. Not gonna stand by and watch a felony go down.
Tony
[sarcastically] That's a good idea. Blow our stakeout over a $50 crack sale. If Gibbs doesn't slap you silly I will.
Oh, you're gonna slap me?
[Unknown to McGee, a hooker is behind him listening.]
HHooker
If that's what you want, honey.
[McGee turns around, stunned.]
Tony
[observing McGee through binoculars] Go for it, McFreaky. Goldilocks is just your type.
[to Tony, annoyed] Bite me.
HHooker
[puts her hands all over McGee] That'll be extra.
[McGee steps back and is nearly run over by a car. Tony, still watching through the binoculars, laughs at him.]
Tony
Boss, we've already been through all of this! I mean, I got no leads, Ziva's flirted with every seaman on the base, and McGee's watched a hundred hours of Petty Officer Junction.
Hundred and fifty, actually.
NCIS · 1,787 quotes
