Scenes with Sam Hanna 137
You know, the goal here was to look like a Hollywood hipster. Ensemble you got going, it's like Gap threw up some Hot Topic. Definitely not hip.
Yeah, well, it takes a special kind of guy to wear jeans that skinny.
They're tight. I mean, they're real tight. They're tight because I need my space. You know what I mean? Tight in all the right places.
And yet you still found room to hide your gun.
Sam They're like Archie and Edith.
It's more like Archie and Meathead.
Sam I thought that party was VIPs only.
Yeah, no... I... not-not that I'd been, but if I had been, which I'm not saying that I have, it's only because the security guards are very pro-LAPD.
Which probably means he used his badge to get in.
Of course I wouldn't do that. That's against, uh, LAPD regulations.
Sam You good?
Yeah! I’m good! (Sam, Callen and Kensi all stare at him.) God, you guys, I’m fine, all right? You can stop walking around me on eggshells. I understand it’s my first day back and you’re worried about me but I’m … I’m good. You know what? I’m … I’m better than good. I haven’t wept the bed in over a week and the voices in my head have all been going away. (Deeks starts talking to himself.) Shut up! No, you shut up! I’m fine!
Sam Seems good to me.
Sam I’m 6’3, 225.
Sam It’s not big! You know, it’s above average, I’ll give you that. But I’m not like some oversized behemoth. I’ve got good proportions, see.
Sam The other night my family was watching Project Runway and all of a sudden it became funny time in the Hanna household. So they were talking about how I need a makeover.
Sam Don’t start! When I find something that works I stick with it.
I hear you! Our lives are dangerous enough without taking any fashion risks.
Sam I tried to mix it up. I went over to Robertson to pick up some jeans over the weekend.
You bought clothes on Robertson?
Sam No! You know why? Because they don’t carry clothes for "men my size". That’s what the guy said to me.
Wow! And he’s still alive?
Sam When did grown men start wearing skinny jeans? Huh? Could you picture me in a pair of skinny jeans? I couldn’t fit my arm in a pair of skinny jeans.
You wore huskies as a kid, didn’t you?
Sam Why do I talk to you?
Because even a man your size needs a friend.
Think the neighbors had any idea they were living next to a drug cartel?
Sam Like your neighbors have any idea who they're living next to.
Of course they do, a handsome bachelor.
Sam A quiet man who keeps to himself? Classic description of a serial killer.
I wouldn't mind tailing Agent Ambrose
He's cagier than a loaded weasel....What? They can be pretty cagey!
I never leave my weasel loaded
Sam Do I need to separate you two?
Sam Hey, Kensi.
Sam What happens when Mercury is in retrograde?
Deeks gets retro-annoying.
Oh, come on. Problems happen all the time, and three times a year, we have to blame it on Mercury? Ridiculous.
Sam Sounds like an urban myth.
It's more like a superstition.
Don't do it, don't taunt Mercury.
Or what, the guy in the chariot's gonna stop pulling the sun around the Earth.
(about the off-the-book operation) Do you have any idea what you've done?
Retrieved our technology?
Sam Made the world a better place?
And looked good while doing it.
Sam You know you have a house now. You can sleep there. That's what normal people do.
Sam You're like a cat that keeps going back to its old place, even though the owners moved.
What do you want me to say? I'm a creature of habit.
Sam Yeah, you're a creature, all right. Of bad habits.
(Kensi is coming back to work after her mission in Afghanistan.)
Sam Yeah?
You look good. I mean that you seem good by the way that you look.
Sam Good!!
(Eric comes down the stairs.)
Eric (whistles) : Kensi! Lookin’ good!
[Sam and Callen are walking through a second hand dealership and looking at the cars on show.]
Sam Look at this. It should be illegal to mistreat cars this way. Salvaged or not.
Sam [grimaces] That's as bad as these cars look.
Where's Dana Steele, Eric?
You're close. According to the tracker, she's right inside the Grand Central Market.
Sam Yeah? Well, we're looking right inside the Grand Central Market-- it's like trying to find Waldo.
Sam Where's Waldo? , the kids book. [Callen looks at him blankly] He's like a goofy kid with a red and white striped shirt. [in disbelief] You don't know Waldo??
Sounds very patriotic. Look, this story is a big break for Dana. She may be able to parlay this into an anchor desk.
Sam Yeah, thanks to a terrorist attack on American soil.
Every journalist owes tribute to the evil one.
Sam What's that, one of Hetty's quotes?
Jean de La Fontaine. 17th century French poet.
Sam [chuckles] You know 17th century French poets, but you don't know Waldo?
[Sam and Callen trailed Turner to his boat. Sam's phone rings]
Sam It's a video call from Turner. [he answers the call and the video feed shows him and Callen from behind]
[Callen and Sam turn around and see Turner pointing his phone camera at them.]
T Turner
[laughs] I knew you were trailing me the whole time.
Well, you're a slippery SEAL, huh?
Sam You could've walked around.
T Turner
Where's the fun in that?
[teasing] That toupee act as a flotation device for you?
T Turner
It's not a toupee. Why does everybody always say that? I just have thick hair.
(Callen and Sam are working undercover in a fast food truck.)
Sam I went to Costco, picked up some veggie burgers. A whole case. Some people enjoy a healthy alternative.
Sam Absolutely.
You do realize you're in Tijuana, not Malibu, right? Good luck with that.
Sam What the hell are you doing?
Sam You're destroying the meat.
Hey, it says fast food on our truck, all right?
Sam Yeah, but you're squeezing all the juice out. The juice equals the flavor. Move out of the way. I'll man the grill, G. Now it's gonna taste like leather.
Hey, be my guest, George Foreman, all right?
Sam Come on! Keep it up, I'll deep fry your taquitos.
[In Sam's hospital room]
Sam What's the situation?
Sam When you say bad––
Sam Getting shot is very bad. Your cooking is very bad. Granger after two drinks is very bad. I need you to be more specific, G.
You remember the time we fought Thapa?
Sam Oh, angry Gurkha rates very, very bad on the Hanna scale of bad people, places and things.
We got six of them coming our way.
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NCIS: Los Angeles · 343 quotes
Sam
