Nate Getz quotes from NCIS: Los Angeles

Nate

What is the world coming to, when drug dealers aren't even safe in the comfort of their own fortified homes?

Hetty

Oh, your professional psychological analysis is an invaluable asset to our team, Nate.

Nate

Thanks, Hetty.

Hetty

But your stand up needs some work. Save it for open mike night.

Hetty

Few men know how to deal with a smart, strong independent woman. They say they want a soul mate to share their dreams and their hopes with, but all they really want is a substitute mommy.

Nate

Okay, as a professional psychologist, I have to completely--

Hetty

[interrupts him] Nate, sit down!

Nate

Cool, I'm going to sit.

Callen

[to Nate] So, basically you don't have squat.

Nate

I'd say it's more of a broad spectrum of possibilities.

Sam

Yeah, that's what they call squat.

Kensi

So, Caldwell takes Amini out and sets up Flynn to take the fall. Then tortures his foster brother, Chad Ellis, to death.

Sam

[to Nate] Shrinks have a term for someone like that, Doc?

Nate

Yeah, really screwed up.

Sam

I guess they're still working on your office.

Nate

Yup.

Sam

Know when it's going to be ready?

Nate

I don't know.

Sam

Who knows?

Nate

Hetty.

Sam

You wanna ask her?

Nate

You're armed, you ask her.

Sam

You're the psychologist.

Nate

Look, I've been trained to profile suspects and brief you guys operationally. And with three years of college, and two more years to get my masters and my doctorate when it comes to Hetty, clueless.

Kensi

Where does she get all this stuff?

Nate

None of it's redacted, not a single word.

Kensi

What if she's the redactor?

Nate

There's a scary thought. Hetty's the cleaning house for every censored government documents released to the public.

Nate

Organization and productivity are directly correlated. Cleanliness is next to... um... efficiency.

Kensi

So, you moved our stuff?

Nate

I tried to stop her.

Callen

Hetty. She's the only one... [Callen pauses as Hetty walks up.]

Hetty

Continue, Mr. Callen, continue.

Callen

...With the authority.

Hetty

Ah, um, Nate, if your comment that "They might be miffed" constitutes trying to stop me, I suggest you learn more forceful techniques of self-assertion, not that I would have listened.

Nate

Wow, um... Shouldn't you be working on that somewhere a little more secure?

Sam

Like where?

Nate

Uh, I don't know a room with armor-plated walls comes to mind.

Sam

Light's good in here.

Nate

I will buy you a lamp.

Sam

King said it was defused. He seemed to know what he was doing. Relax.

Nate

The million dollar question is do you know what you're doing?

Hetty

What did you do to your tie?

Nate

Oh, I, uh, I spilled something on it.

Hetty

Ah.

Nate

Yeah. Should I get it dry cleaned?

Hetty

Well, that's an option.

Nate

Soda water?

Hetty

I'd recommend either donation or incineration, not in that order.

Nate

You don't like this tie, it... it was a gift.

Hetty

Obviously not from a loved one.

Nate

You think I could pull off a bow tie?

Hetty

Not without a red rubber nose and those big floppy shoes.

How about Disneyland?

Kensi

I hate Disneyland.

Callen

Kensi hates Disneyland.

Sam

The happiest place on earth.

Kensi

I have issues with grown men in furry costumes.

Sam

Unless it's Thursday night?

Nate

What are we talking about?

Quality time with the team.

Callen

Apparently it's been too long since we hung out unless there's a corpse involved.

Nate

Bowling, it's great competition, builds camaraderie and you get to wear those funny shoes.

[Unison] No bowling!

Nate

Okay, what about the cowboy bar on Sunset?

Hetty

Oh, that sounds like fun.

Sam

They have a mechanical bull, Hetty.

Hetty

Oh, no, never mind.

Callen

Besides, what's the worst thing that could happen?

Nate

Oh, I don't know. Let's see. Sam gets made. They kill him. Then you, Kensi and the others storm the place and the Dutchman releases the toxin killing all of you and half of Los Angeles.

Which half?

Nate

I'm going to go brief the Director.

Kensi

Am I the only one who wonders why there's a suspect in every case who happens to be a bachelor?

Nate

Well, seeing as how criminals tend to be males with anti-social proclivities...

Kensi

And also wonders why that always seems to be the vector that we go after first?

Hetty

The lowest hanging fruit is the easiest to pick, Agent Blye.

Nate

What Admin Division is encrypted?

Sam

The ones used to cover something confidential.