“Overdrawn at the Memory Bank” quotes from Mystery Science Theater 3000

But I hate this movie. It's on AMC every week!

Mike

And now the news.

Mike

That was the news.

And now, sit back and enjoy this special nine-part series, Overdrawn at the Memory Bank, starring the late Raul Julia, a very wonderful actor. What was he doing in this piece of sh... surely, very quality, quality programming?

Servo

So aging lesbian nuns run the future?

But of course, almost everyone doppled voluntarily. Fingal was my first compulsory dopple.

I didn't want to bungle or bobble the Fingal dopple...

Come... to my mall... to my atrium, yeah yeah!

W-- Wait a minute, I changed my mind. Some other time...

Sit down, Mr. Fingal.

You need to tinkle, Fingal?

Nothing to worry about.

How 'bout some Pringles, Fingal?

Trust me.

Just gonna band-saw the top of your head off.

I am working, Mr. Fingal.

Listen, Felicia, why don't we just walk out of here, go back to my place, and make love?

Servo

Whoa! I wanna work in data entry!

Is that your idea of a joke?! Do you wanna get us fired?!

Not a satisfactory reply, Felicia. [rapidly waves his hands, causing the simulation to rewind]

Mike

Oh, there's a fly in here.

[as the simulation rewinds] What's that? Kill myself? Okay, not a problem. [begins to walk away]

Mike

No no, stay.

Now then, shall we go back to my place and make love?

This is sexual harassment, and I'm gonna take it!

Whoa, look familiar, Mike? Well, probably not.

Mike

Hey...

Oh, I thought you'd never ask, big boy.

Well, I'm actually "size doesn't matter boy."

Ah yes, Mr. Geffen is expecting you.

Mike

Ah! Hitler! ... or, a guy in a car.

Mr. Fingal!

Servo

Santa!

I see I'm on time.

For what, Fat Man?

I've taken the liberty of arranging for some papers for you, uh, passport, exit visa, that sort of thing.

And I'm big-boned, by the way.

Your most recent reports were very positive, Mr. Fingal.

Isn't that just great?

It would be very wise to think of traveling, and enjoying yourself.

Is that what you're gonna do, Fingal? Enjoy yourself?

Lay off, will you Rick?

Let's just get through the movie.

I don't have to be a big man. It was crazy of me to try reprogramming the HX368.

Luckily you stopped in time.

Servo

Da-dum da-dada-DIE! Da-dum da-dada-CRAP!

Come on, Fingal! The plane is leaving!

You're gonna spend the rest of your life playing it straight?

It's my only chance!

If you'd made anymore trouble for them, Mr. Fingal, they would have been forced to erase your existence here. That would have been most unfortunate.

Yeah? Well maybe I would have found my own way to get out.

Oops! Sorry, burped up a capon.

... you think he's can't do it?

I think he's a fool to risk everything for his silly games.

I guess that was what he was doing.

The hell I was!

Servo

[gasp] Mike, he said "hell!"

Your plane, Mr. Fingal. You don't want to miss it!

There's nothing more boring than playing it safe, Fingal.

[opening his car] Let me accompany you to the plane, Mr. Fingal.

Shut up, Fat Man!

You... you anteater!

Better safe than dead, Rick.

That's a matter of opinion.

Mr. Fingal, they're ready for takeoff!

[throwing the papers at the Fat Man] HERE, FAT MAN, YOU TAKE THE TRIP!

And yes, there's a meal.

MY COMPLIMENTS.

... You're a very foolish man, Mr. Fingal.

Lot of face.

From now on, whatever happens is your responsibility. Is that clear? [signals his driver to leave]

To Wendy's!