Twilight quotes from My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic

Twilight

Are you taking notes?

Spike

Yup! I've been hoof-picked by Rainbow Dash herself, to write her autobiography!

Twilight

Umm, autobiographies are supposed to be written by the pony they are about.

Rainbow Dash

Maybe for your normal, run-of-the-mill ponies. But I'm far too busy saving lives to stop and write. That's why I hired Spike as my ghost writer.

[overhears the conversation] Ahhh! Spike's a ghost! [quickly dashes out of the room]

Twilight

It sounds like somepony is jealous.

Spike

[writing] Rainbow Dash is jealous.

Rainbow Dash

Don't write that, Spike! [all the other ponies laugh]

Spike

[writing] Correction; Rainbow Dash is very jealous.

Twilight

Pinkie, stop giving him cake!

[angry] I'm not giving him cake! I'm assaulting him with cake!

Applejack

Now how in thunderation is one of them twins a pegasus, and the other one a unicorn?

Easy. My great-great-great-great grandfather was a unicorn, and Cup Cake's great aunt's second cousin twice removed was a pegasus. That makes sense, right?

Rainbow Dash

Aw yeah, just you wait! Once little Pound Cake gets his wings going, he'll be all over the place.

Twilight

And be careful around Pumpkin Cake.

Baby unicorns get strange magic surges that come and go.

Applejack

Sorry, Pinkie, but I can't tell y'all the truth! I just can't!

Well, I heard a "sorry" in there, so that’ll have to do for now. I’ll get a real apology later! [jumps off the cart] Rarity, catch me!

What?! Pinkie! [Pinkie Pie slams into Rarity on her cart, knocking them both off]

Twilight

Rainbow! Go back!

Rainbow Dash

No time! They knew what they were getting into!

Twilight

Isn't this exciting, Spike? Opening day of cider season!

Spike

Yeah! That means it's only thirty more days 'til sapphire season!

Twilight

Rarity, Pinkie, what are you two looking at?

Rainbow Dash! Isn't she the most daring devil- I mean devilish darer- I mean-

She's dazzling!

Oh yeah that's a good word. She's dazzling!

Twilight

Who are you? I mean, you're me, but I'm me too. How can there be two 'me's? It's not scientifically possible. You are not scientifically possible!

Twilight, please! I have a very important message for you from the future!

Twilight

You're from the future?!

That's right, now listen-

Twilight

What happened to you? The future must be awful.

Please! I don't have much time!

Twilight

Is there some sort of epic pony war in the distant future or something?

Actually, I’m from next Tuesday morning. But that’s not important right now!

Twilight

I can’t believe time travel is really possible! How did you—I mean, I—figure it out?

The time spells are in the Canterlot Archives. But that’s not—

Twilight

Really? Where? I’ve never seen them.

They’re in the Starswirl the Bearded Wing. Now you have to listen to—

Twilight

Is time travel fun, or does it hurt? I have so many questions—

[slams a hoof in Twilight's mouth] I have something extremely important to tell you about the future! And I only have a few seconds, so you’ve got to listen! Whatever you do, don’t -- !

Twilight

Future Twilight?! Oh, no! What was she trying to warn me about?! Her clothes, her mane, that scar! Oh, what a mess she is…I mean, I am…or I will be. ...She must want me to prevent whatever horrible thing happens in the future! [gasps]

Twilight

Pinkie!

Yes, Twilight?

Twilight

Do you have a ball I could borrow?

[goes to a tree and takes a ball out of a crack] I have balls stashed all over Ponyville! In case of ball emergencies...

Spike

Uh, Twilight?

Twilight

[hushed] What is it, Spike?

Spike

Isn't this where we came in?

Cool! Can we climb in the window again? That was super fun!

Twilight

Wow, I knew you were good with animals, but this is amazing.

Fluttershy

Aww, he's just a big furry guy who got out of his yard, that's all. Right, Cerberus? Who's a good boy? Who's a good boy?

Well... what do you think? Am I the toast of the trench or what?

Applejack

[whispering] You'll be toast alright, when the dragons see you parading around in that getup.

Twilight

[whispering] You look very nice, Rarity, but could you maybe look nice down here in the trench with us?

Nice is an understatement. I look fabulous! Who says camouflage has to be drab?

Applejack

[reading the tabloid] “Applejack, asleep on the job!” Can y'all believe this?! And this one [sees a picture of Big McIntosh playing with the Smarty Pants doll from "Lesson Zero"]: “Big McIntosh – what's he hiding?” Who the hay does this Gabby Gums think she is?

Twilight

Listen to this one. “Twilight Sparkle: I was a Canterlot snob. A well-placed scaly source close to the prissy pony says Twilight Sparkle thinks Ponyville is nothing but muddy roads and low-class rubes.”

Twilight

We've got to put a stop to this once and for all! Sweetie Belle's on the newspaper staff. Maybe she knows who Gabby Gums is!

[gasps] My sister would never associate with anyone as beastly as Gabby Gums! I resent you even suggesting such a thing, Twilight! Why, she's the most innocent, most lovely-

-most evil pony in Equestria! How could my own sister steal my private diary? How could my own sister be... Gabby Gums?

[snores] Huh? What? [gasps] The cake! Oh MMMM, you look -marvelous.

Twilight

Whoa!

I know. I think some congratulations are in order for a job well done.

Twilight

Um, you better hold off on giving yourself an award just yet Pinkie... look!

Look at what? Huh? [gasps]