Mean Rarity quotes from My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic

Yes. You've got something those dreadfully fierce dragons can only dream of.

Spike

[excited] What's that?

The cutest wittle chubby cheeks!

Well... what do you think? Am I the toast of the trench or what?

Applejack

[whispering] You'll be toast alright, when the dragons see you parading around in that getup.

Twilight

[whispering] You look very nice, Rarity, but could you maybe look nice down here in the trench with us?

Nice is an understatement. I look fabulous! Who says camouflage has to be drab?

Spike

Count me out. I've gotta get an early start!

An early start?

Spike

Yes! I'm going on a quest of self-discovery! I'm going to learn what it means to be a dragon! And the only way I'm gonna do that is to join the Dragon Migration!

What?!?

Twilight

We've got to put a stop to this once and for all! Sweetie Belle's on the newspaper staff. Maybe she knows who Gabby Gums is!

[gasps] My sister would never associate with anyone as beastly as Gabby Gums! I resent you even suggesting such a thing, Twilight! Why, she's the most innocent, most lovely-

-most evil pony in Equestria! How could my own sister steal my private diary? How could my own sister be... Gabby Gums?

Twilight

Has anypony else noticed that Rarity is wearing her hair rather differently today?

[gasps] What? Is it a crime to change one's style every now and again? Why, I think it's a crime not to.

Twilight

Really? [uses magic to lift the hair covering Rarity's left eye, revealing a missing eyelash]

Fine, I'm guilty! I wear false eyelashes!! [pauses] ...Oh, and I took a bite of the cake.

Apple Bloom

Well, duh! Of course you can go!

Sweetie Belle

And I'll get Rarity to come too! [unsurely] Rarity loves camping!

I despise camping! All of that... urrgh... nature.

Sweetie Belle

Applejack's going with her little sister. But, y'know, if you don't wanna spend time with me... [puts on a sad "puppy-dog" face]

[tries to resist for a moment] ...Oh, all right! Ooh! Of course, I will need to find an outfit more appropriate for "roughing it". Ooh!

Sweetie Belle

[to Scootaloo and Apple Bloom, hiding in a closet] See? Told you she'd wanna go.

Rainbow Dash

AJ, Rarity, what's happening?

Applejack saved Spike's life and now he has to serve her forever.

Rainbow Dash

Sweet! What are you having him do? Wash your laundry? Clean your room? Help you with your unfinished novel? Mine's about this awesome pegasus who's the best flyer ever, and becomes the captain of the Wonderbolts!

However did you come up with that ingeniously woven intricate plotline?

Rainbow Dash

Just came to me.

Spike

But I still don’t get why the Princess would be so late.

Twilight Sparkle

She’s bringing an important visitor. That could be part of it.

Rainbow Dash

A visitor who is important and slow!

Maybe it’s somepony so terribly important, she still had many more terribly important things to do before she got here.

Spike

[tugging Twilight's tail] Maybe the visitor has a deer antler, a goat leg, a bat wing, and a snake tail!

Twilight Sparkle

[rolling her eyes] Yeah, right. That’s Discord.

Why in the wide wide world of Equestria would Princess Celestia bring along someone like that?

Spike

M-M-M-Maybe you should ask...her!

Princess Celestia

I'm fully aware that the last time Discord was here, he created serious havoc.

Rainbow Dash

If by "serious havoc" you mean "turning Ponyville into the chaos capital of the world"...

...and tricking us all into being the opposite of our true selves...

Pinkie Pie

And making yummy delicious chocolate milk rain all over the place without a single dollop of whipped cream to go with it anywhere in sight! Not a single dollop!

Rainbow Dash

Ugh, I can't believe we're having a dinner party with Discord!

This evening is sure to be a disaster. Glad I didn't bother wearing my fanciest outfit.

Twilight Sparkle

Fluttershy thinks this is the way to reform Discord and asked us to give it a chance.

Discord

Oh, our pony guests! [upper class voice] We're so delighted that you've come. Please, do come in.

Fluttershy

See what a beautiful job he did helping? Discord set the entire table himself. I'm so proud.

Discord

May I take your... [clears throat] hats, ladies?

Twilight Sparkle

Hang on to your elements, girls. It's gonna be a bumpy night.

Sweetie Belle

So we could hear all about the Crystal Empire, and find out if you brought us one of the crystal snowglobes that they sell at the train station!

How did you know about the snowglobes?

Sweetie Belle

Um... lucky guess?

Twilight Sparkle

I need to speak to the Princess.

You can't! You mustn't! She's in the middle of a delicate conditioning rinse that must go perfectly if there's to be any hope for her hair!

Twilight Sparkle

Come on, how bad can it be?

Imagine her mane turned into a porcupine.

Twilight Sparkle

Eww.

Don't be so modest. It's everypony's dream to someday wear a crown and have their coronation ceremony preserved in stained glass for all to see.

Rainbow Dash

I don't know if it's everypony's dream.

Pinkie Pie

Most of my dreams are about frosting! [licks her lips, giggles]

I hope A.K. Yearling's alright!

Twilight Sparkle

Oh no! What if something terrible happened to her?

Rainbow Dash

I know! There might be no more books! [Twilight glares at Rainbow Dash; awkwardly] Uhh, but, of course, I'd be worried about her, too. Heh.

Twilight Sparkle

Cadance and I can spend the whole day looking at Star Swirl the Bearded artifacts!

Sounds like a perfect, drama-free way to spend the day with Cadance.

Twilight Sparkle

Not counting the drama surrounding which of the bells from his cloak they've chosen to put on display! Spoiler alert: It's this one!