[Orel sends a group of sex workers to Rev. Putty's house to "save their souls"]
SWSex Worker
Wow, this place is depressing!
Yeah, well, when you're constantly depressed you don't even notice!
S2 E17Presents for God
[Putty closes his curtains with his back turned to the sex workers]]
SWSex Worker
So, which one of us do you wanna save first?
[Putty faces them, revealing they're standing naked]
I think... the red head is definitely going to Hell the fastest.
Hey, maybe I could become a heathen just long enough for Reverend Putty to come and save me! That'd make God happy.
Sorry pal. Until you're eighteen, your soul belongs to us.
S2 E18Orel's Movie Premiere
[As a snake-like belt] come here, Orel, while your pulling your pants up from my spanking!
Is his dad molesting him?
What?!
Gee, Joe completely changed the meaning of everything I wrote
Gosh Orel, that's too bad
I guess some things get misinterpreted
Like what?
Hmm...not sure [Scratches his head with the Bible]
S2 E19Nature (Part 1)
[Clay has finished spanking Orel]
I hope that's taught you a lesson, son.
It sure has! I'm never gonna do that, with those, in there, for that long, ever again!
Good boy son, good boy...
[Pause]
Is that it?
Yup, you can go.
Oh, you're not going to lecture me some more.
Nah, gonna relax for a while.
Gee...
[Orel looks at the mounted deer on the wall above the fireplace, this grabs Clay's attention]
Orel, how would you like to go on father and son outing together?
Father and son, and how!
Aaah. his is the life, kid. Out in the fresh air, no one tell you what to do or how her day was. Away from the hustle and bustle of nagging.
[A drunk Clay sees Orel petting a doe and pulls him away from her.]
Son of a...
Why did you pull me away from her, Dad?
Never fraternize with the enemy!
Aw, she's so cute!
Okay, for the love of God, orel, get that poor, wretched creature in your sights and put it out of its misery.
Gosh, she looked pretty happy to me.
Happy?! Orel, that thing is eating grass! Everyone knows that grass is nature's carpeting! You're not supposed to eat it. You're supposed to judge your neighbors by how neat it looks outside their homes!
But...it looks so peaceful.
GET OUT OF THE WAY! [Takes another swig of liquor and shoots the doe.]
Dad!
Got her! Ha ha! I win! And you lose.
[Later on in the hunting trip..]
(he takes a large swig of alcohol) I gotta tell you, Orel; your cup is always half empty. You need to be more like your old man and look at the blight side of things.
Blight?
I didn't say bright, I said blight. "My life is sunny and blight". Bright means the opposite, it means sudden withering death, and... (suddenly despondent, as if the alcohol caused something in his mind to snap) ...Oh, who am I kidding? My life is full of "bright".
You mean blight?
Oh, God...
What's the matter?
...I hate myself. [Orel's eyes tear up as Clay looks at the bottle he's holding.] (screaming to his own reflection on the bottle) WHY DO YOU QUIT WORKING ON ME?! She always fools me, Orel. "I'll make things better dear. Drink me. Put me inside you, I'm great!" And she chokes me just like every other whore out there! They're all worthless, kid- every woman. Don't let 'em get ya. All of 'em wanna get ya. They just grab you and pull you into them! And then you're forced to stay in and pull out and stay in and pull out! And then they gut ya. And then they grip ya by right where it counts. And then they start squeezing things out! Things that are like weights around your head! You're stuck there for the rest of your life, with nowhere to go and no one to be!!! AAAAHHHH!!! AAAAHHHH!!! AAAAHHHH!!!
[Orel, absolutely terrified at this rant, accidentally discharges his gun.]
Dad!
S2 E20Nature (Part 2)
Are you okay?!
(laughing like a madman) Okay? Am I okay?! YOU SHOOT ONE THING THIS WHOLE TRIP- COUNT 'EM, ONE THING- AND IT'S TWO OF MY LAST BOTTLES OF LIQUOR?!
Sorry, dad! It was an accident!
THERE ARE NO ACCIDENTS!!!!! You have done nothing but whine and complain like a little lady in a flowery, sissy skirt and attractive high heels about my drinking since we got here!
It's because you become a bad person when you drink!!!
Oh, I do, do I? Well, we'll see about that! (He tries to take off his belt to spank Orel but can't; he is that drunk off his ass. His pants fall down, and eventually he collapses onto a makeshift liquor storage tent he had set up. He still tries to pull them back up, but can only flop around waving his legs pathetically. Orel tries to help) Get away from me! I'll do it myself! (After failing to put his pants up again, he curls into a ball and weeps in a fit of despair. Finally, he stops and manages to pull his pants up.) Okay... It's time you became a man! Where's my rifle?
I-I-I don't think...
There it is! (grabs his rifle and starts aiming it around)
(trembling) Dad! W-Watch out!
Please, Orel. I know exactly what I'm doing.
Yeah, but you might shoot it off by mistake!
There aren't any mistakes either. No mistakes, no accidents, no flub-ups, no boners...
But—
DON'T "BUT" ME! (pulls the trigger, shooting Orel in the leg)
[Clay finally wakes up after sleeping off all of the alcohol he drank the previous day; it's in the late afternoon]
[cheerfully] Mornin'!
Morning was 13 hours ago.
Missed the roosters, eh? High time for some breakfast!
I wanna go home.
Why? What happened?
You shot me in the leg.
No I didn't.
Look.
Oh. I don't remember that. So that means it's not my fault!
Mom, why did you marry dad?
Why? Well, men have to marry women. Otherwise, if men married men and women married women we'd all give birth to nothing but fairysexuals.
But why you marry dad?
Oh, well... [laughs] Why not?
It's just that, when he drinks, he... changes.
Oh, he doesn't "change", Orel. That's just his true nature coming out. [She leaves]
Huh. Nature.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Moral Orel pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.