DDanny
[Walks up] You're a fucking dead man!
I don't think so. I think you wanna thank me, 'cause... right now, I'm your best mate.
All S1
S1 E15Unfinished Business
UNUndercover narc
[To Nathan up against wall] I saw you run last year. You were in a different league. Turn around. You don't need to be getting involved in this kind of thing. Not with your profile. Think, yeah? Sort yourself out. Clean? Well, I expect I'll be seeing you. Come on.
MMike (Nathan's Dad)
Don't be a wanker.
Thanks for the fatherly advice. It makes me feel all warm inside.
Beverley, I don't want him paying for it.
You want him to call the police, do ya?
Yeah, I do actually. Bev, call the police.
Yeah, you heard him man? C'mon, call the police.
Call'em. ...Are you still here? [Mike leaves] See ya dad, let's do this again sometime it's been really special.
MManager
You and your dad seem close. [Laughs]
Oh shut up Beverley. [Uses the staple gun on one of Beverley's hand]
LLee (Kelly's fiancé)
[Finds an engagement ring in a car he's stealing] Kel? Do you wanna marry me? ...What?
That is so fucking romantic!
Tony. [He starts kicking a pole] Tony! Stop it, stop it. It's a car. It's insured.
Your engagement ring was there!
You were gonna propose to me?
Yeah.
Can I still say yes?
SSam
If they had caught us with the drugs, we would have been screwed.
Shh, it didn't happen. Everything is gonna be alright. We got away with it. We did it.
What happened?
We were doing our, community service... our probation worker flipped out. Just... just went crazy and, and he killed them.
How come you survived?
They said I was half dead when they found me. Guess I'm just lucky.
[Sneaks up on Simon filming other community servers on steps] Pervert! What are you doing? [Snatches Simon's phone and films adjacently]
Give it back.
Come on, we'll do an interview. [Chuckles] First question. Have you ever had sex with a piece of fruit?
Give me my phone.
Second question. Was it a melon? [Simon lunges at Nathan wrestling back phone] Ah, he's trying to kiss me! He's trying to kiss me!
Just give it back!
Give him his phone back, you prick.
Ow, stop hitting me! Have your little toy. [Flips v-sign] Melon-fucker!
[Searching lockers] He's got Tony's credit card. It was in here.
PPete
Why did you put it back?
You need to catch him using it- it's evidence against him.
PPete
Sally...
It's here somewhere.
PPete
Even if we catch him using it, it doesn't prove he murdered Tony.
How else would he have got it?
PPete
Maybe he found it. The most we can do him for is fraud. Sally, stop. He'll know someone's been in there. [Grabs her] Sally! You keep this up, you're gonna lose your job. I know this is difficult.
He's got Tony's credit card.
PPete
I'm sorry. It's not enough.
This is your chance to talk about community service.
It's... bullshit.
So do you think that you have learned anything?
Yeah. Don't get caught.
Fine... how do you think you have changed?
I think I'm taller.
[Repeatedly] They graffiti and we clean it off. What is that about?
[Answers phone] Ooh, hello?
[sings] Raff in the jungle, innit in the jungle! Raff in the jungle, innit in the jungle! Raff...
You're fuckin' lying! [Laughs]
Do I look like I'm some kind of fuckin' knob? Do I?
It's not easy, being you, is it?
What do you mean?
I mean, how do you get along with the others? It must be hard. You're not like them. You're more... mature.
[Sweeping floor with bifurcated sweepers with Nathan] Why has he been in there longer than the rest of us?
He's obviously making more progress. He's such a little arse-kisser.
So have you thought about what you want to do when this is over?
I don't know.
Would you like to go to college or get a j...? [Nathan gibbers at office window using sweeper to allude to cunilingus with tongue motions] He's such a twat. Sorry, that was really unprofessional.
He is a twat.
So, what do you like doing? Come on, there must be something.
I like making videos, editing them together and that.
Really? Well, I have a friend who runs an editing suite. I could ask him about some work experience for you, if that's what you're interested in.
Yeah.
There's no need to look so shocked. I'm not that bad, am I?
No.
I should do some work. [Simon walks to door] Thank you.
For what?
It's nice there's someone I can actually have a conversation with.
Thanks.
We never did find out who was putting notes in our lockers.
What did I say? I said they had nothing. They were just pissing in the wind.
You don't know what they got on us.
Maybe they're watching us right now.
This shit is old news. We have outfoxed the fox, which makes us very bloody foxy. [To Kelly] You like that, huh? Yeah.
Do you wanna come to mine tonight?
Can't. Gotta baby-sit my nephew.
How about I come with you? My aunt and uncle are well religious. Don't even have a TV cos of all the sex. Man, they take one look at you...
Are you saying I look dirty?
Yeah. [Wraps sweater around her shoulders pulling her in, they both chuckle]
[Drives up besides Simon] I thought that was you. D'you want a lift? I'm offering you a lift, Simon. It's not illegal. [Opens passenger door] Get in.
SSam
[Walks up to him] Hey. Let's go somewhere quiet.
Okay.
SSam
[Sitting on steps with her] Why are you looking at me like that?
I can't see you any more.
SSam
Are you finishing with me?
I'm sorry.
SSam
Tell me why. Tell me.
There are things going on with me, things I can't tell you about.
SSam
What things?
It's nothing you've done. It's me. I've changed.
SSam
No, you can't do this to me! Don't do this!
I'm sorry.
SSam
Please. Why are you looking at me like that?
It's nothing. Nothing. Let's get a drink.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Misfits pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.