William Murderface quotes from Metalocalypse

Nathan

Excuse me, excuse me, can I have everyone's attention, I just wanna say a few things.

Ofdensen

Oh God, please...please God...

Nathan

I have a secret to reveal, I uh...there's been a bit of an inter-office relationship going on and uh...Abigail...and myself...are an item. [applause but Abigail looks shocked] I just wanted to announce that, thank you everyone, thank you. You're beautiful!

Pickles

[enraged, smashes his wine glass] NO! No no no! You cannot have this too! You greedy, fat asshole! You fuck! Y-y-you destroy the record! You fucking take everything you see! [grabs dinner plates and smashes them] And you take, and you take! [Murderface, drunk walks over]

Murderface

Hey, hey, hey!

Pickles

Get off of me! Get off of me!

Murderface

What are you gonna do, hit me?! [immediately punched by Pickles] AHHHHH! It's not supposed to happen!

Pickles

Goddammit...I'm fucked. I'm fucking fucked over here. I got nothing...so I'm gonna fucking take myself the fuck outta here. I fucking quit. I fucking quit!

What you must understand is that the Metalocalypse has been moving forward. These events have been foreseen—the death of a religious figure by the hand of the godless half-man set the clock to lurch forward. That five souls would come to shepherd us through the darkest times known.

Murderface

Is that old guy supposed to be Santa Claus or some shit? Are we getting presents? What is happening here?!

We are trying to tell you that you're the ones for which we have been waiting thousands and thousands of years. You are the chosen ones.

Murderface

You mean we're the Jews?