LL
If you're so rested, shouldn't you be heading back?
With two more clones in the closet? All work and no play makes J grow up to be just like K.
S2 E2The Quick Clone Syndrome
JQJ Quick Clone 1
You okay?
JQJ Quick Clone 2
Feeling fine. My noodles are magnificent with [melts]
JQJ Quick Clone 3
When it's your time, it's your time.
You sure you wanna do that? I mean, I'm kinda like a father to you, brother. [The Alpha J clone prepares to stab the real J but gets interrupted.]
JQJ Quick Clone 1
You heard the man. That's no way to treat family.
JQJ Quick Clone 2
Word.
JQJ Quick Clone 3
We got his back, brother.
S2 E4The Dog Eat Dog Syndrome
Drekk? Uh... Never heard of him. You're barking up the wrong tree.
Funny. Thought you guys were tight.
KK
Cell mates? Zartakla prison?
Look. All I know is what everybody knows. Guy's a certified psycho. The whole time we shared a cell together, all he could talk about was getting even with everyone who ever crossed him since the first grade.
(scene cuts to a flashback of Drekk and Frank sharing a jail cell)
DDrekk
And the judge who put me away. Know what I'm gonna do when I get my hands on him?
(reading a magazine) Surprise me.
DDrekk
I'm gonna boil him alive. Real slow. And the guy who cut in front of me in the mess hall. Know what I'm gonna do to him?
Give him a wedgie?
DDrekk
No. I'm gonna boil him alive. Real slow. (Grabs Frank by the throat, knocking the magazine out of his paws) Just like I would boil you, Frank! If you EVER CROSS ME!!
(flashback ends and we cut back to modern day)
Uh... I don't know nothin' about Drekk.
KK
Nothing?
Well, maybe one thing. He picks.
KK
Locks?
Pockets?
His feet. It's disgusting! All day, all night. Talk about revenge, pick his feet. Pick his feet, talk about revenge. Drove me nuts!
You're so chic? You scratch yourself in public!
Hello!? I'm in a dog suit! It's part of the act! I'm a real sophisticate under this mangy skin, you know.
S2 E5The Big Bad Bug Syndrome
EBEdwin the Bug
So you're the "Man" in Black who 86'ed my brother?
LL
You must mean Edgar. I see a resemblance.
EEdwin
I'm much better looking.
W1Worm 1
So, what we after?
W2Worm 2
What we after?
A Bug.
[Silence]
A big, bad one.
W3Worm 3
Bugs eat Worms!
W4Worm 4
When they're not eating sugar!
W1Worm 1
Maybe we'll just...
W2Worm 2
... head down to the cafés for a cup of Joe.
KK
Not in your birthday suits, you won't.
[The Worms giggle sheepishly]
LL
So, why am I still alive, er... Adam?
DBDung the Bug
Dung.
LL
[repulsed] Pretty name.
DDung
Queenie wants you alive. Wants to flay you herself.
LL
Aren't you going to eat before the long trip?
DDung
I just said she wants you alive!
LL
I mean sugar.
DDung
No. I got 10,000lbs of Queenie's Royal Jelly waiting for me back home. That's the bounty on your head.
EBEdwin the Bug
[after capturing L, J and K] This is the way we triple our pay, triple our pay, triple our pay!
You ought to get a doggie door, Zeddie.
No, I ought to get a sign: "No mutts allowed!"
S2 E6The Jack O'Lantern Syndrome
COCreepy old woman
Jack O'Lantern steals away children on all-hallows eve. And sucks out their bones to make their parents grieve.
UU
That's what makes you you, sir.
KK
You're U. I'm K.
W3Worm 3
I'm Agent K. MIB's finest.
W4Worm 4
Agent J. I'm with him.
That so? How am I supposed to tell you two apart?
[Worm 3 pulls out a toy resembling a standard MIB blaster and Worm 4 pulls out one resembling the Noisy Cricket]
(Grunts)
WCWorm Cuppa Joe
What did Zed say? Is he sending backup?
WPWorm Percolator
What are we gonna do?
WCWorm Cuppa Joe
Jack's gonna suck out J's bones!
Nobody's suckin' out my bones!
WCWorm Cuppa Joe
Not you J, worm J!
WPWorm Percolator
He's always getting into scrapes!
WCWorm Cuppa Joe
He's the rookie.
K! Boy, am I glad to see you!
KK
You're never glad to see me, Frank. What's got your tail in a tangle?
I got bit! By a werewolf!
KK
What did he look like?
Terrier. Jack Russel. Mean.
KK
What makes you think that this terrier was a lycanthrope?
Hello!? It bit me! On Halloween night! Under a full moon! You're a bright guy. Do the math.
KK
Don' know why you called me, Frank. Supernatural is outside of MIB jurisdiction.
Who you gonna call?
KK
Recommend a rabies shot. You don't know where that terrier's been.
If I sprout hair at midnight and start howling at the moon, it's gonna be on your head, K!
[The worms all walk around in a circle]
WCWorm Cuppa Joe
Now, we're dealing with the supernatural.
WPWorm Percolator
Very scary!
WKWorm K
Which means we can't rely on our usual methods.
[The worms stop walking and look at each other]
WWorms
(in unison) The spell!
Why didn't I think of that?
WCWorm Cuppa Joe
The old crone told us about a spell...
WPWorm Percolator
That will send Mr. O'Lantern...
WKWorm K
Back to the pumpkin patch!
WCWorm Cuppa Joe
Wishing he'd never been hatched! We'll need a big brown onion...
WPWorm Percolator
You sure it wasn't a red onion?
WKWorm K
And the fat of a hog!
WPWorm Percolator
That would be lard?
Is this a spell or a recipe?
WCWorm Cuppa Joe
And a bell!
WPWorm Percolator
You sure it wasn't a bellpepper?
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Men in Black: The Series pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.