Men in Black: The Series · Season 2
You’re certain a Fmeck stole your exosuit?
Positive.
Fmeck?
From the planet Fmoo. About yay high, sworn enemy of the Arquillians.
Same size as you. Why don’t you just whack them upside the head?
We Arquillians are a peace-loving species.
Martin Luther King, John Lennon, Raffi.
Wait, hold up… John Lennon was an Arquillian? What’s Ringo?
The drummer.
[Agent J clumsily struggles to pilot an Arquillian mech suit and ends up crashing around.]
And he wonders why I don't let him drive the LTD.
Oversaturation. Explosion imminent.
What do we do about that, K?
Jump.
[The two jump off the building to escape the explosion]
There's more to the plan, right?
Anti-gravity shoes!
Funny, I don't remember being issued a pair of those!
Zed must like me better than you!
[trying to upload memories from Zed's brain] You were somewhat devastated when your dog contracted rabies and you had to... shoot him.
That's the end of Old Yeller, you mooncap!
... So it is. But a memory, nonetheless.
These thirty-seven-hour Centaurian days are frying my brain, L.
You're not the only one working long hours.
How do you do it, then?
I... have my methods. The festive duck stomp is one way to put your carp together and matriculate.
I must be loosing consciousness. Could have sworn you just said--
The garden gnome prances when my long johns are filled with cheese... (melts)
You've been there for quite a while. Maybe you should give #2 a shot.
No. No. I can hang. I still feel real.
You all do, number 1. Until the babbling starts. And you find yourself melting faster than a waterlogged wicked witch.
That's close enough, Alfalfa. Now you just move your fashion plate butt away from K. (Alpha backs off) That's right. Don't want all the king's men putting eggshell in my little red tugboat. When flapjacks fly, yo yo gotta clip the toenails to sweet... sweet... (melts)
If you're so rested, shouldn't you be heading back?
With two more clones in the closet? All work and no play makes J grow up to be just like K.
You okay?
Feeling fine. My noodles are magnificent with [melts]
When it's your time, it's your time.
You sure you wanna do that? I mean, I'm kinda like a father to you, brother. [The Alpha J clone prepares to stab the real J but gets interrupted.]
You heard the man. That's no way to treat family.
Word.
We got his back, brother.
Drekk? Uh... Never heard of him. You're barking up the wrong tree.
Funny. Thought you guys were tight.
Cell mates? Zartakla prison?
Look. All I know is what everybody knows. Guy's a certified psycho. The whole time we shared a cell together, all he could talk about was getting even with everyone who ever crossed him since the first grade.
(scene cuts to a flashback of Drekk and Frank sharing a jail cell)
And the judge who put me away. Know what I'm gonna do when I get my hands on him?
(reading a magazine) Surprise me.
I'm gonna boil him alive. Real slow. And the guy who cut in front of me in the mess hall. Know what I'm gonna do to him?
Give him a wedgie?
No. I'm gonna boil him alive. Real slow. (Grabs Frank by the throat, knocking the magazine out of his paws) Just like I would boil you, Frank! If you EVER CROSS ME!!
(flashback ends and we cut back to modern day)
Uh... I don't know nothin' about Drekk.
Nothing?
Well, maybe one thing. He picks.
Locks?
Pockets?
His feet. It's disgusting! All day, all night. Talk about revenge, pick his feet. Pick his feet, talk about revenge. Drove me nuts!
You're so chic? You scratch yourself in public!
Hello!? I'm in a dog suit! It's part of the act! I'm a real sophisticate under this mangy skin, you know.
So you're the "Man" in Black who 86'ed my brother?
You must mean Edgar. I see a resemblance.
I'm much better looking.
So, what we after?
What we after?
A Bug.
[Silence]
A big, bad one.
Bugs eat Worms!
When they're not eating sugar!
Maybe we'll just...
... head down to the cafés for a cup of Joe.
Not in your birthday suits, you won't.
[The Worms giggle sheepishly]
So, why am I still alive, er... Adam?
Dung.
[repulsed] Pretty name.
Queenie wants you alive. Wants to flay you herself.
Aren't you going to eat before the long trip?
I just said she wants you alive!
I mean sugar.
No. I got 10,000lbs of Queenie's Royal Jelly waiting for me back home. That's the bounty on your head.
[after capturing L, J and K] This is the way we triple our pay, triple our pay, triple our pay!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Men in Black: The Series pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
