Lucifer Morningstar quotes from Lucifer

Lucifer

[looking over his arm] There's not a scratch, Detective. Impressive marksmanship.

Chloe

Actually, I was aiming for you.

Charlotte

Since I escaped Hell, all I've wanted is to get back to the Silver City. To reunite our family.

Lucifer

You're still fantasizing about heavenly rebellion? Just let it go, Mum. Been there, done that, big fall.

Charlotte

But that's just it. Why do you think you lost that fight?

Lucifer

Oh, I don't know, let's have a think, shall we? Not enough cardio? The fact that dear old Dad's slightly almighty?

Linda

[referring to the gates of Heaven] Do you mean actual gates? Like big and pearly? Are we talking clouds? Harps? Old dudes in white robes?

Lucifer

And my Dad is Morgan Freeman? Focus, Doctor.

Trixie. Do you have any feelings you want to use? I know it's only your first time, but...

Trixie

I feel sad.

Okay. Why?

Trixie

Because... my mommy almost died. Her job is scary. But she has to help so many other people with their problems. I don't want her to worry about mine. So I pretend I'm okay.

Lucifer

[gently] Well, welcome to the club of parental deceit, child. It's a lonely place, but that's the price of being clever.

Lucifer

Since when can you hit so hard?

Charlotte

My strength has been growing steadily.

Lucifer

As is your recklessness, it seems. I mean, what did you expect me to do? Stab you with the blade and have it be ignited by my joy?

Lucifer

I'll give you one chance to apologize.

Apologize? You punched me! I'll tell you what I can do; I can forgive you.

Lucifer

Taking the high ground now, are we? Magnificent. I may have struck the latest blow, but that is only in response to the litany of offenses that you, dear old dad, have bestowed upon me.

So, you believe me. Good. Tell me, just what is it you think I've done?

Lucifer

Oh, we're going there, are we?! Right, let's see! Um, casting me into hell for eternity because you haven't got the balls to get your own cowardly hands dirty! Manipulating me with the detective, giving me the illusion of control! You are a patronizing, sinister helicopter parent!

So you think you have no free will?

Lucifer

Every bad thing that's happened throughout eternity is your doing, not mine! It's all part of God's plan! Even Mum's coming here and manipulation of me was part of it.

Your mother's here?

Lucifer

Oh! Look who cares now.

Oh, my. Oh, well, that is something. I still remember the first moment we met. Mmm. There was nothing, just darkness and... then she appeared. (chuckles softly) It did not take long for us to light up the universe.

Lucifer

Much as I'm enjoying this trip down memory lane, I want an apology. Nay! Nay, I demand penance. You must atone for what you've done!

Now, that's not the Samael I remember.

Lucifer

No! No, Dad, this is who you made me when you cast me away! Now apologize!

Well, I had no idea you were so angry with me.

Lucifer

Really? 'Cause I... I've been pretty upfront about it.

But to want to destroy me? That's pretty serious. You mind telling me why?

Lucifer

Because... Because I'm your son. And you rejected me.

Oh. Well, then I guess I can't say as I blame you. Fact of the matter is, I don't even remember why I was ever so angry with you to begin with. For what it's worth, I am sorry. I truly am. And I am proud of you, Samael. I'm proud of the man you've become.

Hey, They, uh, said we was arguing. If I did or said something to upset you, I apologize.

Lucifer

No. No, you were quite lovely, actually. For a brief moment, I thought you were my father. A man for whom I harbor a great deal of resentment. And you said some things that I think I wish he'd always said to me. So, for that, I thank you.

Well, I guess even a blind squirrel catches a nut every now and then. You take care of yourself. [gets in a taxi] Hey, does this mean you're not angry at your dad anymore?

Lucifer

No, I'm not angry. I'm bloody furious. Because I realize that my father would never say those things to me. And for that, I hate him all the more.

Amenadiel

It's Maze. She's angry with you, Brother.

Lucifer

[laughs] What, is it Tuesday already?

Charlotte

What is that?

Lucifer

It's... It's nothing. At least for now. This is the real way to move forward, Mum. To create a whole new world. Your own world, without Father.

Charlotte

What about you? Amenadiel, my children?

Lucifer

You know that if we go back to Heaven, then there will be a war. And in war,... there are always casualties.

Charlotte

The last thing I want is to hurt my children.

Lucifer

I know. So, please.... Let there be light.

Marcus Pierce

You must be Lucifer.

Lucifer

Morningstar. [offers a hand] Pleasure.

Pierce

There was an investigation last year. We interviewed, what was it, ninety-two of your sexual partners? I think I'll refrain from physical contact, if you don't mind. [Lucifer chuckles] You don't seem reckless. Narcissistic, hedonistic. That I see.

Lucifer

Well, thank you very much.

Pierce

Not a compliment. Your file's as long as my johnson.

Lucifer

Oh? Quick read, then?

Pierce

Hardly.

Lucifer

Well, I, for one, don't need a file to ascertain you haven't even had a snog in ages, have you?

Pierce

Accurate.

Amenadiel

So what happened?

Lucifer

It was terrible, Brother. I was kidnapped.

Amenadiel

No, Luci. I meant Mom.

Lucifer

Oh. Well, didn't you get my text?

Amenadiel

What, you mean the string of nonsensical emojis? Fire, Sword, Doughnut, Spaceman, Clock, Dancing Lady, Flashlight, Thumbs Up. How am I supposed to know what that means?

Lucifer

[deciphering] "I ignited the Flaming Sword, used it to cut a hole in space and time, Mum's light flooded through it, then it closed up behind her. All good."

Chloe

Anyhow, it looks like Josh and Steve both come from family money. Basically bought this hotel just to have a place to party.

Lucifer

[without a trace of irony] Imagine, buying your own establishment just to fund your decadent lifestyle. It's absurd.

Chloe

[deadpan] Yeah, absurd.

[explaining that he thought a friend was pranking him] It's why I thought you weren't real cops. I mean, a guy named Lucifer and the chick from Hot Tub Hotel?

Lucifer

"High School". Hot Tub High School. She wasn't in the sequel.

Amenadiel

Lucifer, I'm not angry with you that you somehow got your wings back, or even that you cut them off again. As foul as that may be. I'm angry with myself. Because somehow, I made you feel like you couldn't confide in me.

Lucifer

Well, comparing body parts is never good for the male ego, especially between brothers.