God quotes from Lucifer

Amazing what changing one tiny detail can do. A butterfly flaps its wings, and good friends are strangers.... People accuse me of being controlling. And yes, I may have put Chloe in Lucifer's path. But what if I didn't? Would they still get together?

Choice is a funny thing. Give someone different options, different circumstances, will they themselves end up different? Sure, they might end up with a different job, find inspiration from different people. But will they still be the same person at their core? Some might continue down a darker path, never knowing there was a different way. The potential buried deep down, but still there. Some make immoral choices instead of moral ones. But they will still have the same conscience. The question is, will they ever make the choice to listen to it? And sometimes, it isn't the right moment in someone's life to make a certain choice. And no matter how badly you want to nudge them in the right direction,... you know they need to find it on their own. And some people find love in the strangest of situations, and are, somehow, happier for it.... And some, no matter how you shake things up, end up making the same choices, are drawn to the same people, the same passions. So all seems to have ended well. Does that mean I never should've manipulated things to begin with? I have a better question: Wouldn't you do the same in my shoes? After all, a parent just wants what's best for their child.

Lucifer

[softly] Dad.

Children. You know I hate it when you fight.

Michael

I know what you're trying to do, and I'm not going to let you ruin this, Samael.

Lucifer

Very well... Mike-ael.

Michael

It's "Michael".

Lucifer

Is it? I mean, we're twins after all. Fairly certain Dad wanted them to rhyme. Dad?

I did like the sound of that. "Samael", "Mike-ael". [chuckles] But you boys had other ideas.

Lucifer

Ooh, for example: Dad! Are you ever going to tell us why Hell suddenly doesn't need a warden any more?

I have a good reason.

Lucifer

Oh! It's a good reason! Well, that explains it. As always, super clear, thanks Pops.

Michael

What are you even complaining about, Lucifer? You got your own kingdom as a reward for bad behavior.

Lucifer

[bitterly] Is that how you see it? Being forced to torture souls for hundreds of thousands of years was an 'attaboy'? Sure, I was King of Hell, but I was still in Hell. If that's not a poisoned chalice, I don't know what is! [Lucifer gets out of his seat] You have no idea what that was like, how easy you had it!

Michael

"Easy"? [scoffs] I spent my entire life in the worst kind of Hell there is.

Amenadiel

Luci, Michael, come on!

Lucifer

What could possibly be worse?

Michael

Sharing a face with you! Guess what? When your twin is the Lightbringer, turns out you have no choice but to live in the shadows!

Lucifer

We were dealt the same hand, the same face, the same bloody shoulders, except you had a chip on yours so big, you managed to self-actualise it! Oh, no, no, no! There's nothing wrong with him, don't be fooled! You have no one to blame but yourself for who you are!

Amenadiel

Luci!

Michael

Oh, I blame you plenty!

Amenadiel

Michael!

Lucifer

Of course you do, you petty little sh-

[booming] CHILDREN!

Lucifer

And there it is: the Old Testament Wrath. Wasn't sure you still had it in you.

Linda

Has Lucifer done anything recently to anger You?

Oh, of course not! I'm not angry about anything.

Lucifer

Oh, so what, You just banished me to hell for shiggles? Be honest! You were pissed that I threatened Your superhero status and You were dying to punish me! You wanted me to suffer!

It's impossible to make him happy. If I give my opinion, I'm controlling. If I stand back and let him make his own decisions, I'm the distant father with the mysterious ways. Whatever I do, he assumes the worst possible intentions.

Lucifer

That's because nothing is ever good enough for You! "Why don't you have a desk?" "Why doesn't your car have a roof?" "Why is your kitchen just a wall of scotch?"

Linda

[to Lucifer] You. You are an archangel. You're able to fly, live forever, coax the desires out of all humanity. Fly. [to God] And You. You are Alighty God. You are the most important being in the entire universe. You made the universe! You did that. You've had millennia to evolve beyond all the petty squabbles that we have down here on Earth. And yet? You haven't. You're basically just like all of us! I mean, maybe even worse, if you consider all the time that you've had to evolve beyond all of this nonsense! I mean, take this father-son discord! So Your son didn't turn out exactly how You'd hoped. So he can't fly!

Lucifer

Well, I think we've already established that I can fly.

Linda

You know what a good father does? He loves his son, unconditionally! Even if he doesn't have a fancy pair of wings! No matter what, supports him. You smell what I'm cooking?!

Lucifer

Usually, she's quite perceptive, but I suppose everyone has an off-day every now and then...

I believe I smell what you're cooking. In fact, I think I know exactly what to do. [clasps Lucifer's hands in his own] Get ready to be supported, son.

Lucifer

You know, it was bad enough -- rejecting me, forcing me down to hell. But I had a life here! I had a good thing! The detective, she-- she made me vulnerable, but it was... It was terrifying but it was also amazing because for the first time in my long, hopeless life, I felt something. And then You just turned up and You ruin it! You throw it all away! Why?!

So full of life that it blinds even you sometimes.

Lucifer

What does that mean?!

It means I understand that you're angry at me. And I'm so very sorry about that.

Lucifer

So... You're sorry for me, but You're not sorry for what you've done?

I didn't say that. But I will say that I cannot fix you, Lucifer.

Lucifer

But you're God!