Marcus PierceYou must be Lucifer.
Morningstar. [offers a hand] Pleasure.
Pierce
There was an investigation last year. We interviewed, what was it, ninety-two of your sexual partners? I think I'll refrain from physical contact, if you don't mind. [Lucifer chuckles] You don't seem reckless. Narcissistic, hedonistic. That I see.
Well, thank you very much.
Pierce
Not a compliment. Your file's as long as my johnson.
Pierce
Hardly.
Well, I, for one, don't need a file to ascertain you haven't even had a snog in ages, have you?
Pierce
Accurate.
Pierce
This is about the Sinnerman.
Right. I see what's happening here. A mysterious figure handing out favors, probably dashing and handsome. You think I'm the Sinnerman. [laughs] The truth is--
Pierce
You're not the Sinnerman. He's smart and calculated.
You don't know me. Maybe I am the Sinnerman. Surprise!
[Pierce arrives at Lux to find Lucifer alone at the bar]
Pierce
Well I'm here. This couldn't have waited until morning?
Time-sensitive, I'm afraid. In a way, the opposite.
Pierce
Just tell me what you want.
Right. Well, we're both familiar with the accomplice theory, that our blind barbarian had someone working for him. ["Yeah."] Well it occurred to me that…what if the Sinnerman was the one working for someone else? What if he was the accomplice? Exhibit A. [he pulls out the photo of the young Sinnerman] Here is Mr. Sinnerman as a child, with a man he seems very close to. Interesting birthmark. It's a very similar shape to your military tattoo, actually, wouldn't you agree? ["So?"] Well, so it stands to reason that this man would be very very old by now. Or, if he isn't, he'd have to be…[laughs] immortal.
Pierce
[stone-faced] An immortal crime boss. Just like you're the Devil.
Ha. Yes, I know, it does sound absurd, doesn't it? So, as such, there's really only one way to prove my theory. [reaches over the bar] Where did I—ah, there it is.
[Lucifer grabs a knife from the bar and plunges it into Pierce's chest. The police officer staggers to the floor and sprawls out, dead. Lucifer returns to his seat at the bar, nurses his drink for about a minute…and Pierce revives, grunting and roaring as he pulls at the knife handle]
I wonder why I didn't figure it out sooner. The world's first murderer. Marked by God and doomed to walk the earth alone for a tortured eternity. It's quite the moniker! Yet, still, nowhere near as ridiculous as "The Sinnerman."
[Pierce stands and pulls the knife out, and Lucifer looks him eye to eye]
[his secret out, Cain catches his breath and sits at the bar next to Lucifer]
You may as well pour me one too.
Lucifer · 325 quotes
