Charlotte Richards quotes from Lucifer

Charlotte

[about humans] They eat, darling. All they do is eat. And then afterwards, the food comes out changed, and not for the better.

Charlotte

I have a paralyzing fear of the place, but I would face a thousand Hells to save my son.

Charlotte

[to Pierce about how he takes his coffee] Cream? Sugar? Or do you take it dark and bitter, like your soul?

Charlotte Richards

I apologize for my human form, but…at least this one has supreme hindquarters.

Lucifer

You're lying.

Charlotte

No. They're quite sturdy, feel it.

Lucifer

I wasn't referring, nor will I ever refer, to your butt, Mother.

Charlotte

What happened to your wings, son?

Lucifer

I cut them off.

Charlotte

Why would you… I mean 'come to Earth', 'get a haircut', or something, but that's a little extreme.

Charlotte

Mazikeen, what is this strange gooey substance that this boy is cooing about?

Maze

You watching porn?

Maze

And how's that human husband?

Charlotte

I discovered a trick with him. Whenever he asks a question, I have sex with him. Seems to render him mute.

Maze

Hmm. Took me a while to figure that one out.

Amenadiel

You were gone for a really long time, mom. You might not know your children as well as you think you do.

Charlotte

You may be right. But, at least for now I have you and Lucifer. My brave boys. So, if I'm here on earth two more years or two hours, I will take every moment I can get.

Chloe

You've got a lot of nerve.

Charlotte

Yes, I've been told. And legs for days.

Charlotte

Detective

Dan

Counselor.

Lucifer

Douche.

Dan

Dick.

Charlotte

Well, I suppose that's my cue.

Charlotte

Tell me more about you and Lucifer. What comes next for you two lovebirds? Did he say anything about, uh, I don't know,... matricide?

No, I think the mattress in the penthouse is pretty new.

Charlotte

Since I escaped Hell, all I've wanted is to get back to the Silver City. To reunite our family.

Lucifer

You're still fantasizing about heavenly rebellion? Just let it go, Mum. Been there, done that, big fall.

Charlotte

But that's just it. Why do you think you lost that fight?

Lucifer

Oh, I don't know, let's have a think, shall we? Not enough cardio? The fact that dear old Dad's slightly almighty?

Lucifer

Since when can you hit so hard?

Charlotte

My strength has been growing steadily.

Lucifer

As is your recklessness, it seems. I mean, what did you expect me to do? Stab you with the blade and have it be ignited by my joy?

I am so sorry that you suffered.

Charlotte

Well, I suppose I should apologize for trying to destroy your precious toy with floods and plagues and whatnot. I guess humanity isn't entirely awful. They did make vodka. Roller coasters. Triple-cream brie.

Charlotte

What is that?

Lucifer

It's... It's nothing. At least for now. This is the real way to move forward, Mum. To create a whole new world. Your own world, without Father.

Charlotte

What about you? Amenadiel, my children?

Lucifer

You know that if we go back to Heaven, then there will be a war. And in war,... there are always casualties.

Charlotte

The last thing I want is to hurt my children.

Lucifer

I know. So, please.... Let there be light.