KenziDude, what's been up with you lately? That time of the wolf-month?
Missed you, too, Kenzi. [Kenzi leaves]
She's got a point. You seem a little off your game since you came back. Something I should know?
Come on man it's lame you leaving me out like this!
Okay- You know the old story of King Leopold? The tribute he made as a sacrifice to the Norns?
Well, I asked a Norn for help when Bo went to face her mother.
So? [Dyson gives him a look] Aw... man... Alright, bold move. But, you just run off after? What's up with that?
I was in shock, okay? Denial- Whatever you want. Wolves like to heal in private.
Speaking of not home: would you give me some space on Saturday night? Dyson agreed to come over and talk.
Kenzi
Ahh. Gotcha. Operation “Woo” begins. And what is your plan of attack?
Cleavage. That’s about as far as I’ve gotten.
Kenzi (ruefully - whilst attractive, she's small-breasted): Honey, that’s farther than some of us ever get.
[hearing Kenzi scream] Are you okay? What's wrong?
Kenzi
[throwing the broom] Cruddy broom totally bit me!
Really? The big talker who survived basilisk poisoning gets TKO'd by a broom?
Kenzi
Oh, like you've never been suckered by a big shaft of wood.
Kenzi
I'm sorry, okay, but you're freaking me out! We should be out there dusting bad guys, not actually dusting!
I'm just trying to scrub away- The wolf who shall not be named.
Kenzi
Bo...you're binge cleaning.
Spring cleaning of the heart starts with spring cleaning of the hearth.
Kenzi
Look- Bo deserves una casa that has that fresh from the dentist feeling. But I am not genetically programmed for housework. And she doesn't earn enough moolah to get me the squadron of maids I deserve!
Well, if you want some spending money, I'll hire you on for some shifts.
Kenzi
Work for a living? Do I look like a chump?
Kenzi
If I say yes, do I still get that beer?
Kenzi
I got a shot for that in kindergarten. Keep walkin', pal.
MMumphert
I'm a Brownie. I clean houses.
Kenzi
Before you... devour the inhabitants?
MMumphert
I try to stay out of the way. Mostly I work at night. So quiet. You won't even know I'm there. And I do it for free.
Kenzi
[quietly] Mumphey! Have a seat! [walks over to Trick and whispers] Brownies: perfectly harmless or lock-up-your-honeys?
They eat honey, not honeys. In fact, they like it in their porridge.
Kenzi
What else do they like in their porridge, huh? Nuggets of girl-brain?
Kenzi
A drizzle of virgin blood?
Kenzi
Eyeball dumplings?
All they eat is cereal and honey.
Kenzi
Okay, so what you're saying is, he is Trick-certified safe to take home?
Kenzi
Flaming tequila, crumbly old book? Not a good combo, drunky.
[chuckles] I am not drunk, I'm coping. And Trick is gonna kill you for swiping that.
Kenzi
Oh no, what is he gonna do? Revoke my Fae library privileges?
Kenzi
[looking through Trick's book] Here's one: the Festering Hex. We cast this on Dyson we can make it fall off.
[raises her shot glass] To his wang! May it rest in peace.
Kenzi
Yeah, we hit him with the old Bob Barker special then hit his waitress with- A bad case of "Toadstool-itis."
[laughs] That can't be a real thing.
Kenzi
It is, and it might be tricky. How much Eye of Newt would you say we're packing?
No! Besides, it's not the waitress' fault! I mean, Hale is right. Dyson can be mighty convincing.
Kenzi
Yeah, but with the right spell, he can be completely neutered.
Yeah! [they clink shot glasses] Right there!
Kenzi
Know what we should do?
Kenzi
We should invoke Baba Yaga.
Kenzi
[whispers] Baba Yaga. Every young Russian devotchka is taught to fear the old witch who lives deep in the lost woods, in a cottage made of bones.
Kenzi
The bones of young girls who don't do what they're told.
Oh my- You are scared of this Baba Gaga.
Kenzi
Baba YAGA, and yeah, she's horrible! Horrible- But, you know, occasionally she'll help chicks get revenge on a dude who's wronged them! [points at herself and Bo] Uhh?
Kenzi
Okay, you get a mirror, you say her name three times, you tell her the name of the dude you want cursed-
Kenzi
Perhaps we're concentrating too much on Dyson's genital region.
No, no- We can't curse Dyson! I mean, he sacrificed his love for me to save my life. i mean, deep down, we know he's all noble.
[Bo and Kenzi walk behind him] What?!
Kenzi
Goosebump alert! How did you know we were gonna ask you something?
Yeah, we didn't say a word.
Yeah, you two never shut up. So either you're scheming or it's my lucky day. Thing is, I'm not that lucky.
[watching Kenzi pour syrup on her pancakes] You want some pancakes with your syrup?
Kenzi
One more word. One more word and I'm having Siren with my syrup.
You're getting nasty in your old age.
She fell into the bottom of two bottles of wine last night.
Here- Check this out. [takes Kenzi's hands and whistles]
Kenzi
Oh... my- [takes off her sunglasses] Oh my God, my headache is gone. How did you do that?
Kenzi
Will you marry me?
Kenzi
Why do I have to touch it!?! Eww, eww, eww...(she opens up Hale's shirt and stares in awe as he's amazingly hot/gorgeous)
Kenzi
Huh? Oh,ummm, nothing, I'm just, uhh, sizing you up to see if I have anything that would fit you.
Kenzi (with Tori lying on the floor): I killed the Glaive's daughter - I KILLED - the Glaive's daughter!
Dyson trusted me, he depended on me - this poor girl -
Kenzi
Who doesn't drink coffee? I mean, it's just - it's just coffee! You have it with breakfast, or when you're sitting in a cafe pretending to write a novel - it's not a drink! It's a hug!
Kenzi
I'm gonna be Fae food - oh my God, they're gonna lock me up with a crazy beast and watch as he eats me for breakfast! Maybe with a coffee! (She slaps Hale)
Kenzi
Why didn't you tell me she couldn't drink coffee?!
WWoods
So, you’re friends?
Kenzi
Yeah-
Kenzi
Kind of?
Mmm, it’s complicated. I’m an all-powerful siren, you’re a lightweight.
Kenzi
I’m wicked, you’re a wang.
I’m playing it cool. I don’t want the bounty hunter to know about us.
Kenzi
About us what?
About us anything. [later] Fine! Fine, we’re friends! Ok? Friends, BFF’s! Pinky swears, borrow each other’s bras--[Desperately]Can we go now?
Lost Girl · 144 quotes
