Kenzi quotes from Lost Girl

[seeing Dyson leave] Oh, whoa, whoa- Dude! Booby trap!

It won't leave a scratch. Promise.

[grabs her jacket] It's chilly out there. [gives it to Dyson] I'm allergic to peanuts. And my hair does this crazy thing when I get out in the rain-

Kenzi, I'll take care of your body. [walks away] Every powerless human inch of you.

Dyson

You are weak, pathetic and you need glasses.

Kenzi

[laughs] Oh, wow. That’s kinda mean.

Dyson

It’s a miracle you survived this long, Kenz. You just might be the strongest person I have ever met. [they hug]

Kenzi

You know, I learned a few things about you, too. Being inside you felt very empty. [puts her hand on his chest] You’re missing something huge in here, aren’t you? [Dyson puts his finger to her mouth]

Hale

The parties are insane, ladies. One word: hot-tubs.

Kenzi

That's two words, dinkus.

Hale

Okay, okay, okay- Hot tubs filled with Cristal.

Bo

Ooh, those are five really good words.

Bo

[both going undercover in high school] Okay, Kenzi, you sure you know what to do?

Kenzi

Unleash all this coolio onto the student population? [looks around] Oh, honey. They're gonna be printing my face onto t-shirts by lunch.

Is that ensemble trying to share some childhood trauma with the world? [she and her friends laugh]

Kenzi

Excuse me?

You heard me, bitch.

Kenzi

Oh, wow. We're already at bitch. Uh, well, it's very nice to meet you, Heather, Heather, and Heather.

What?

Kenzi

Cult film. Circa 1988.

Bo

What happened?

Kenzi

The chic clique didn't appreciate my accessorization skills. Especially when I tried to pierce Heather number one's nose with a pen.

Bo

You're supposed to be fitting in.

Dyson

Hey- Did you guys get anything yet?

Bo

A lecture from the vice principal and twenty seven invitations to the dance. One delivered by soliloquy.

Kenzi

Oh, nice-

Bo

You?

Dyson

A fist bump. Kenz, you?

Kenzi

Well, I was attacked by rabid muffies, man-handled by coach bitchy butch and I got detention.

Bo

We are not getting very far, are we.

Kenzi

Teen angst- Our greatest foe.

Bo

You said it, sister.

Bo

[about the Glaive] How do I know she's dangerous enough to neutralize?

Kenzi

I have been thinking about it and I've come up with a fool-proof plan, ok? I'm gonna do surveillance on the Glaive for a few days, check out her habits, her route to work, and then for a measly hundred bucks, my cousin Dima and his capos are gonna-

Bo

Dima has capos?

Kenzi

He believes Don Corleone is his real father.

Bo

[laughs] He does know that Don Corleone is a fictional character, right?

Kenzi

I've never had the heart to tell him.

Kenzi

This place creeps me out!

Bo

It's not too late to turn back, Kenz.

Kenzi

Are you kidding me? I've been waiting all day to kill me a Berserker- [there's a loud noise] Ah! Too cute to die! [Ciara and Dyson look at her] What? It's true.

Bo

Don't you ever do that to me again.

Kenzi

I actually had to hide under one of the Ash's dead guards. And wait for the creepos to be insane somewhere else. And I have three letter for those guys, D-O-D'RANT!

Bo

I've really got to do this, don't I? This is on me, isn't it?

Kenzi

Yes, it is. But we have all got your back, Bo. From a very, very safe distance. [they both smile] Sorry, I couldn't resist.

Bo

You are not a liability, Kenz. You are just the thing I need.

[Kenzi threatens to cut down the sacred tree] You, you wouldn't dare.

Kenzi

Oh, yes I would. I'm human, remember? We drive SUVs and we dump raw sewage into pretty lakes and we will burn this planet to the ground if it means just one more cheeseburger.

Bo

The last time we went after the Garuda, he manipulated us into fighting with each other.

Kenzi

Dude was like a Fae Jerry Springer.

Hale

The Amazons won't listen to me.

Kenzi

Because of your stupid penis?

Hale

I prefer 'untested leadership'.

Name?

Kenzi

[Southern accent] Kenzi Von Clare. I'm Bo's honeybee, and I'm here for some sugar.

But... you're human!

Kenzi

Trust me: the shorter the lifespan, the deeper the quicksand!

Kenzi

Can we just forget about your Fae-self for like a nanosecond, and talk about something that's really important?

Vex

Doubtful.

Kenzi

[whispers] Mascara.

Vex

[sits up] You have my attention.

Kenzi

Dude, your lashes are freakin' amazing!

Vex

Yeah... it's all in the brush technique. Wait- [grabs a bag] I picked up a few tips from Da Vinci.

Kenzi

As in The Code?

Vex

[chuckles] Oh, yeah, now there was a queen for ya. He was all over David's ass like curry on chips.

Kenzi

Can you help me with my clumping?

Vex

Oh, please...

Bo

O.M.G. You guys are so cute together. I wish I had a makeup buddy. I thought she could be my friend, and she doesn't even like me.

Kenzi

Who?

Bo

Tamsin! She is so mean girl, right? I mean, buy an actual personality already.

Vex

Did you happen to rifle through my duffel bag, and scarf down a couple of yellow pills with tigers on 'em?

Bo

I'm gonna talk to Dyson. And Bee-Tee-Dubs- It is tres private. [leaves]

Kenzi

Private? [in sing-song] Lauren's pelt is gonna be steamed!

Vex

What's it with you and the doc? I mean, besides her terrible bedside manner and the fact that she's a damn sight cleverer than you.

Kenzi

Not to mention sneaky! She spy-banged Bo.

Vex

Dyson's drop-kicked Bo's heart times over, and you still howl when he comes 'round.

Kenzi

I-! No! Listen, are you gonna teach me the double pump smudge-proof technique or not?

Vex

[sighs] I'm so proud of you.