Kenzi quotes from Lost Girl

Kenzi

[hearing whispering] Do you hear that?

Bo

What?

Kenzi

I don't know. It sounds like- like whispering kids or giggling elves. Did you bring home elves last night? I'm not judging, I just want to know...

Bo

Oh, that is a lot of web for a wee little spider.

Kenzi

'Wee'?! You could put a saddle on that thing!

Bo

Right now what I really need is a vacation.

Kenzi

Fae-cation!

Bo

Seems like a hell of a party.

Trick

No, it's not a party. It's La Shoshain.

La what now?

Trick

La Shoshain. It's the most sacred day of the year for Fae. I thought you should see it.

Kenzi

Seems like a party.

Trick

Well, it is that one time of the year where Light and Dark Fae can get up close and personal with each other, and some of them use it as an excuse to drink and- How can I put this delicately? Uh... fornicate across party lines.

Kenzi

So it is a party. I am really likin' this Fae Day.

Trick

It's not "Fae Day." It's-

La Shoshain.

Trick

Good. It's spiritual.

Kenzi

Sure thing, T-man. You got any Fae Day signature cocktails? 'Cause we're gonna take two.

I can't believe I'm doing this!

Kenzi

You like the car?

Very much, but it's breaking the law!

Kenzi

What are they gonna do, execute you?!

Bo

Gimme the 6-inch.

Kenzi

Honey, if I could give you the 6-inch, all our problems would be solved.

Kenzi

Hit me with some hooch, T-Bag. T-Dawg? [cockney accent] Please, sir, may I have some beverage?

Trick

[take out a shot glass and bottle] Here. Help yourself. I'm busy.

Kenzi

[in a high-pitched voice] Oh, my God. It's like Christmas!

Bo

All we have to do is find a girl dressed in black in the middle of a goth club.

Kenzi

Oh. Rapid calculation... that is about everybody, including me, in a "pigeonhole me and die" sort of way.

Kenzi

[about Bo and Dyson] I can never tell with those two if they're on or off.

Hale

I put money on them fighting again in two weeks and back to square one. [they look at each other can take out their cells]

Kenzi

I pick the 14th for them hittin' the skids. Closest one to the date wins 20 bucks.

Hale

In the event of a tie... we go down to the hour and the minute. [they shake]

Kenzi

Off till my late shift. Oh, God. Public transit sucks tail.

Dyson

[in an accent] Senorita... the servants' entrance is in the rear.

Kenzi

Yeah, bite my rear, dog breath, okay? [Dyson chuckles] I just had to stand on the subway for 45 minutes while a woman clipped her nails in my face and a guy was poking what I can only hope to be a baguette into my back, okay?

Dyson

Bo isn't returning my calls.

Kenzi

Oh, gee. Wonder why, genius.

Dyson

You have to make her listen to me!

Kenzi

You know what, man? I don't even want to listen to you, okay? Liar, liar, wolf-pants on fire! Damn it, man, we trusted you! I trusted you.

Dyson

And you weren't wrong to.

Kenzi

Bull and shit, buddy. You've been spying on her this whole time.

Dyson

Kenzi, you know I only want what's best for her.

Kenzi

Well, not anymore I don't, okay? Why would the - why the hell would I ever trust you around Bo again, huh?

Dyson

Because I love her.

Kenzi

Whoa, man. Where are you going? What's with the body armor?

Hale

All hell is breaking loose. I gotta lead this evac, get these important people underground.

Kenzi

Well, you are reasonably important yourself, so don't get too heroic on me, okay?

Hale

Nah. I'll play it just like you, all right? General cowardice with moments of crazy bravery.

Bo

That's it.

Kenzi

How do we know it works?

Bo

Up for a test run? Lock lips and see if I can drain your chi?

Kenzi

Dude, seriously? Did you make this whole thing up just to make out with me?!

Kenzi

Ooh, you just got succu-busted! Not so tough now, little succubus, huh?

Hale

Didn't we tell you to stay in the car?

Kenzi

Cars are the basements of horror movie cliches.

Bo

What are you drinking?

Kenzi

Um- I don't know. Maybe something sweet. Like an apology from Dyson for being la merde-face since he got back.

Bo

Thank you! He's being a total ass, right? Guy disappears for three weeks and leave you hanging, usually, the girl gets to be the pissy one, yes?

Kenzi

That is how I have come to understand things from my education in romantic comedies, yes. Also- Girls with glasses are way smart, and being clutzy is adorable.