I've called you all together for an emergency earthquake readiness meeting. Now, planetary shaking is measured on what is called a Richter Scale. Today's quake was a 5.0, quite moderate and perfectly normal, but a good reminder to us all: be prepared and don't panic! I repeat: DO NOT! PANIC!
S1 E1Richter (Experiment 513)
Hey, Lilo, is your sister home?
Yeah, but I don't think she's feeling well. She said something about having a big zit.
LILO!! [dashes to the front door] No! I'm fine.
Well, what were you popping when... [Nani covers her mouth until she licks her]
Ugh! [chuckles nervously] What a darling.
[explaining Experiment 513] Quake today was teensy little jiggle to 513. He is programmed to look for weakest geological point on island, for to make one ginormous evil earthquake! [laughs maniacally] Most likely, 513 will have to look for big fault at base of volcano. Is imperative that he must never go underground... unless you want evil quake.
[Jumba has converted the family buggy into a giant drilling machine so Lilo and Stitch can hunt down Richter underground]
Let's go, Stitch. Stitch!
[Stitch is playing around with his new orange ball]
[takes ball] 626, what are you playing with? Looks like citrus orb.
Okata! [swipes the ball back]
He doesn't like people touching his orange ball. He's learning how to take care of things.
S1 E2Phantasmo (Experiment 375)
[Lilo, Stitch and the family are enjoying dinner at Macki Macaw's; the animatronic Macki, however, flames up and falls off the perch]
Primitive Earth entertainment technology. Very entertaining.
Especially when he entertains by catching on fire. Fascinating.
[Stitch gets his glass ready as Pleakley pours soda to the group]
Wait your turn, Stitch. Macki may be combustibally challenged, but I love this place. It's homey. Why don't we come here more often?
[Stitch, patience run out after Pleakley does not pour him any soda, leaps onto the table, chugs the whole pitcher of soda down, and belches loudly]
That's why.
Lilo, have you finished giving him a bath?
[Stitch dashes out of the bathroom wearing an inner tube; Lilo begins chasing Stitch around the house; Stitch tries to squeeze through the doggy door, but can't due to his inner tube]
You know how he is about water. I almost had him lulled into a false sense of security, but then you said the b-word. Never say the b-word!
You mean.... "BATH?"
[Stitch finally escapes leaving Lilo stuck in the inner tube]
Why do you torment me?
Pee-yew! How much pizza and soda can one mutant alien wear?
[Stitch sees Phantasmo (possessing Scrump) messing with Lilo's movies; he breaks free from the chains and begins attacking Scrump]
What's all the racket in there? That sounded like... Stitch?!
[as Lilo enters the room, Scrump goes into doll mode and Stitch spits it out]
Stitch not bad! Was scary dolly!
Scrump is very smart, Stitch. But she doesn't go around breaking plates and unscrewing videotapes.
[during Stitch's "trial"]
Wasn't it Defendant 626 who chewed off the arm of Mr. Fluffybear here?
Objection! I sewed it back on.
And how about little Suzy Teaparty? Anybody seen yer head? I haven't, because it's gone!
Objection! Stitch didn't mean to eat. It was a freak accident! He was accidentally hungry.
[Lilo, Jumba, and Pleakley are tied by Phantasmo after learning his secret]
What does it want?!
375 has advanced programming. Now that we have learned his secret, he will probably get rid of us.
[Phantasmo possesses Scrump and picks up Jumba's gun]
Don't worry. The weapon is only loaded with net.
[Phantasmo replaces the net cartridge with another]
Ah! He has replaced net with my new laser cartridge! I am so proud of his smartness!
I'm not.
And I'm just gonna faint. I'm too terrified to faint. How about if I just scream? AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!
So I hear there's an experiment out there that takes over inanimate objects?
Yep, makes it look like other innocent experiments did bad stuff when they didn't do anything wrong at all.
Okay, I get it. My bad.
[after Phantasmo finds his one true place as possessing Macki Macaw to entertain]
I owe you both an apology. I was wrong about you. Innocent until proven guilty. I'm old enough to know that. I'm sorry.
[whispers something into Stitch's ear] Okay, we'll forgive your behavior on one condition.
Nani buys games and pizza!
[chuckles] I guess that's fair.
S1 E3Clip (Experiment 177)
[Lilo and Stitch are at a beauty salon]
Now, pay attention, Stitch. To fit in on Earth, you need to be obsessed with how you look. [gesturing to two men who are mud-bathing] People come from all over to soak in this mud. They wanna be like pigs. Go ahead.
[Stitch grabs a handful of mud and shoves into his mouth, and then spits out on Lilo; Lilo then tries to throw the mud at Stitch, causing a large mud fight that messes up the entire beauty salon]
SOSalon Owner
[comes through the door] Stop right there! Oh, just look at this mess!
Yeah, you really need to sweep all that hair.
SOSalon Owner
Not the hair! THE MUD!!
[Lilo hangs her head sadly; Stitch, however, looks at the owner angrily]
Agata! [throws mud at the owner]
[Lilo and Stitch then run out of the salon]
SOSalon Owner
And stay out!
[Lilo and Stitch bring Clip home]
[screams] Keep that thing away from me!
Cute little Clip?
Is not cute! Is Experiment #177, and is very dangerous.
She doesn't look dangerous.
Ah, but looks can be deceiving. You see it was many years ago, when my head was overflowing with evil ideas...
[a flashback shows a younger Jumba with long black flowing hair]
[voice-over] ...and healthy luxuriant hair follicles. I had devised Experiment 177, the Uburnium Eater!
[flashback then shows a space-style gas station selling Uburnium]
Uburnium is the most powerful and economical fuel source in all of universe! My Ubernium Eater would spark an insurmountable fuel price!
[the flashback shows the price sign for Uburnium go higher until it explodes]
Unfortunately, in the language of Kweltiquan, word for "Uburnium" is same as word for "hair". I did not realize mistake until... too late! I had accidentally created Hair Eater!
[flashback then shows young Jumba activating 177 for the first time; Clip comes to life and immediately eats all of Jumba's hair; back to present]
[Mertle Edmonds and the other hula girls exit the salon; Lilo hides the box Clip is in by sitting on it]
Hey, Weirdlo! I didn't know you got your hair cut here!
I don't.
Of course you don't. They never even let you in the door with that mess.
I like my hair!
You would! Maybe you should try this. [hands Lilo a bottle of hair conditioner] You'll need it more than I do.
Wow! For me? "Hair Conditioner: For Taming Wild Unruly Hair?!" Hey!
Don't be jealous. Not everyone can have perfect hair like me, especially not you.
YTYuki, Teresa, and Elena
YYYYYEEEEEAAAAAHHHH!
[the girls laugh as they leave]
Mertle needs to be punished.
Yeah! Ih!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Lilo & Stitch: The Series pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.