TV show quotes
[after the gang land in Honolulu, courtesy of Pleakley's 28 credit cards]
At last, the big city.
[Stitch runs up to a view of Honolulu and laughs maniacally]
I know you always wanted to see a big city.
See big cities? 626 programmed to destroy big cities!
But he won't, because he wants to be good and help me win the dog show and show Mertle we're not riffraff! Right, Stitch?
[reluctantly] Mmm-hmm.
Dog's name?
Stitch.
And what exactly is your dog's breed, dear?
Blue-furred Extoplasmic Detection Dog. Ancient Egyptians used them to contact their mummy relatives in the underworld.
I don't see any...
He's very rare. Probably the last of his breed. Only the top dog people really know about them.
[Lilo wakes up]
It's 6:30! We overslept! Stitch, wake up! [pulls out the blanket to see Stitch gone] Oh, no! He went out to destroy the city!
Ooh! I always wanted to witness that!
[they suddenly look behind them to see Stitch has actually left to grab some ice cubes]
Egata?
Oh, I thought... Never mind.
[Gantu captures Gigi]
My Gigi!
My experiment!
Your what?!
Experiment 007! Did not to recognize after so many grooming and watch ribbons!
Gigi... is an experiment?!
Sure! Very early project. Can lie down, sit, fetch, annoy neighbors with evil shrill bark.
[Lilo, Stitch, Jumba, and Pleakley have returned home; Pleakley counts the beauty products he got from Honolulu]
Soaps, shampoos, bathrobe, love it! It's just like being there!
[appears with a ton of mail] All the mail is for you, Pleakley. Looks like it's all bills.
Bills? What are bills?
Bills are what you owe when you charge on your 28 credit cards!
Owe? As in money? Nobody asked for any money. [looks at a bill] Oh, my goodness! Is that a balance due or an intergalactic zip code?! How can they do this to me?! I'm not even a citizen!
[Gantu gets out of his shower to find that Experiments 501 and 502 have both activated at the same time]
By the luck of the Fubockoo Nebula! Two experiments at the same time! Do you realize what this means?! Dr. Hämsterviel will pay a double bounty on delivery! [625 is sitting in his chair, reading a book] Eh, 625? [no response, Gantu removes the book to see that 625 is really fast asleep] 625!!
[wakes up to see Gantu in a towel] Ooh, yow! Not what I like to see when I first wake up! [gets up to leave]
[blocks the way out] I've been thinking...
Ooh, careful! Don't hurt yourself using all that brain power!
It's time you started pulling your weight around here. You're going to help me capture those experiments!
Y'know what, babe, I would love to, but I can't. It'd cut in to my sandwich schedule.
[grabs 625 and gets ready to punch him] Add this to you schedule: A knuckle sandwich!
Just lost my appetite! Fine, I'll go! [Gantu drops him] Whoa! Hold on, brainiac! Don't you think it'd be better if we split up and each went after one experiment?
What? I'd just leave you alone to goof off?!
If Wittle Gantu needs me to hold his hand and go witch him, I will!
Fine! We'll each catch our own!
Good! I'll just pack some sandwiches.
[Lilo and Stitch get into an argument after failing to wax David's board while David was trying to teach them about Yin and Yang]
I don't know what David was talking about. I could've waxed that board without you!
Naga tay!
Could too! Because I'm smarter!
Hmph! Wa naga tikiday!
[Lilo and Stitch fail to capture 501 and 502]
You had him, alright! Tied up his arms like a pretzel! It was hurting him, you big bully!
Nugishaw!
It was not my fault!
Nugishaw!
Was not!
Nugishaw!
WAS NOT!!
[Jumba explains 501 and 502 to Lilo and Stitch]
Is very important 501 and 502 do not come in contact.
Why?
If they were to touch, could be cataclysmic disaster of epic proportions!
Why?
Because of massive release of quantum energy! 501 plus 502 equal one big boom!
What is it with you and the big booms and the evil and the destruction? Why didn't you create an experiment to do something constructive, like, say, oh, I don't know, IRONING?!
I am genius only! Not miracle worker.
[Lilo and Stitch challenge each other that they can capture the experiments without the other]
626 accepts little girl's challenge. Of course, genetically superior 626 will easily catches target before little girl.
Pshaw! He's nothing without Lilo! She has Earth brains, Earth instinct. He's just a monster!
Perhaps willing to make a wager?
Willing?! I am dying to! But galactic waging rules requires stakes.
[chuckles] Stakes are best part. Let's see. Ha! Loser of bet must perform dreaded Gloknar Ceremony Dance!
[gasps] The thunky Gloknar?! The Witless Dance of 1,000 hours!
Is one-eye scared like "bok-bok" Earth fowl that crosses road?
Not this one-eye, Senor Four-Eye!
[Gantu falls into a 625's sandwich trap as Lilo, Stitch, Jumba, and Pleakley spy on them]
Did you hear that?! Those experiments have escaped again, thanks to you!
Oh, no!
Oh, that is so pathetic that you have to blame for your screwup! Hmph!
If we had worked together in the first place, like I said, we wouldn't be in this mess!
[Lilo and Stitch realize the error of their ways after hearing this]
The big dummy is right, Stitch.
Ih.
Maybe if we worked together...
Never mind making up! First, be finding 501 and 502 and making certain they do not make with the touching or tapping or patting!
Why do you keep saying that?
If I'm telling once, I'm telling more than once! Lava genius experiment and water genius experiment must not touch!
Wait a minute, that's not what David said.
And what does local surfer boy know of this?!
Maybe it's what he was trying to tell us about Yin and Yang: two very different things come together to make on good thing. Like peanut butter and jelly. Or doughnuts and mustard.
Stitch and Lilo?
Yeah.
[Lilo and Stitch work together to capture Yin and Yang and shake hands at the end]
Aha! Lilo's clever plan worked! I win!
No, no, no! It was 626's strength and agility that captured experiments. I am winning!
Nope! We caught'em at the exact same time together. Right, Stitch?
Ih, ih!
Which means we tied! Yeah-- Oh! No, is not good.
Intergalactic wagering rules states in the events of a tie, both parties must pay the bet! [sobs] We both lose!
[Lilo falls over while trying to skateboard without following Keoni's advice]
Crazy bale! Are you alright?
Skateboarding is stupid.
Hey, no pain, no gain. You can't expect to learn it all in one try.
I tried twice!
This time, I'll teach you how to stop.
I know how to stop. I'm stopping skateboarding. [takes off the helmet and gives it to Keoni] Let's go, Stitch.
[Stitch gives Keoni his backpack, which is empty after he ate Keoni's shoes and macadamia nuts, and then leaves with Lilo]
Ah, yes! That's 601. Oh, he's trouble. Is big bully. Sole purpose is to pick fights. Will defeat anyone except, maybe, 626.
No experiment can beat Stitch. Stitch is undefeatable! Right, Stitch?
[standing on the ceiling] Ih. [grumbles and then falls off the ceiling]
Come on, we've got to catch 601, and you're driving!
Ih!
[scene cuts to Stitch driving the buggy in reverse]
You really aren't yourself today, are you?
[Jumba diagnoses Stitch to see what is wrong with him]
I have diagnosis!
What is it?
He ate macadamia nut.
That's it?
Is that bad?
Normally, macadamia nut is delicious snack. But data indicates he also ate tennis shoe.
A left one, but he spit it up!
Not soon enough. Combination of metolayic acid found in macadamia nut oil and tennis shoe rubber created same chemical compound as Crezonyte.
Crezonyte?! Ugh! Ew! It's toxic stuff! It ruins your complexion! Ruined mine anyway!
So... what did that stuff do to Stitch?
Caused system to shut down. He is like computer creation. Wipe out all training memory. 626's superpowers go super-kaput!
How will he defeat 601 if he can't remember how to fight?
[sighs] We'll have to retrain from scratch.
You did once. You can do it again, right?
Wrong. Last time training gave slipped disk.
So who's gonna retrain Stitch? Me?
Excellent idea! [drops a stack of books near Lilo] Here are training manuals, must be trained in agility, hand-by coordination, and strength. Wishing you for good luck.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Lilo & Stitch: The Series pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
