Law & Order quotes

[about Carville] You ever watch her show?

Sure, when I'm not knitting booties for my cat.

What kind of blackmailer asks for payment by check?

Cutter

A dumb one.

Lt. Van Buren

Without the beards, you guys look 5 years younger.

[to Lupo] Which makes you about 12.

Go screw yourself, okay? Screw the police! Screw the Morgans! Screw all 53 states!

:[examining Ramirez's body] School ID to Sunrise Academy. It's a few blocks that way. One of those charter schools.

Trying to help kids in the lousy neighborhoods. Give them a better education to break the cycle of violence.

Looks like they've got a little ways to go.

Yes, I've heard about the murder. Everyone's talking about it.

Anyone talking about who did it?

Most of these kids worship at the Church of Don't Snitch.

Charter schools, magnet schools, they take all our best students, and then we're blamed for having the worst. Kids from poverty, from broken families, a hundred years of neglect and we have to get them ready for college with just a few hours a day. Some charter school that gets 20 million dollars from Bill Gates and they get a few students into Dartmouth, it makes front page news. You want to know what the real success stories are? When a student from Aaron Burr who couldn't even read in the ninth grade manages to graduate and get a job in an auto-parts store instead of becoming a drug dealer. That's a success story, our success story. But no one cares. No one wants to hear about it.

McCoy

[after learning about Principal Woodside's arrest]Grand larceny? What did she steal?

Cutter

Well, how about a decent education for her students? Their integrity, their potential?

McCoy

I don't think there's a law against stealing potential.

American cheese and chocolate milk. Must be off the children's menu.

Pretty girl like this, I wonder whose menu she was on.

Connie

[about Conway] Now that he has a taste for violence, how likely is he to stop?

How about, "Not bloody likely"?

I didn't kill no gay dude!

It's beneath you. Straight guys never have a problem with two girls together, huh? It's kinda hot. But two guys... it's the ass thing, right?

Does that skeev you, Cedric? Imagining what two guys do together? The ins, the outs, what goes where?

[defensively] Doesn't bother me.

Oh, 'cause maybe he likes it. Is that it? Maybe that's why you were downtown. Lookin' for a little taste. Somethin' on the down-low.

You like a nice ass?

Shut up! You shut up! I ain't no fag!

Connie

Everyone in this room knows he won't get less than 25 to life after a conviction for a hate crime.

You know what? I'm sick of this hate crime crap! It's not like he was a black guy. [to Connie] Or a spic!

Cutter

Our offer just went up to 25.

Mike...

Cutter

Go to trial if you don't like it.

How about our motion for dismissal? How about your law license?

Cutter

You can have my license! It'll free me up to testify about the hate speech your client spewed in here. And after he's convicted of murder in state court, I'll walk across to the U.S. Attorney's office and have your client prosecuted for violating the Matthew Shepard Act. Hate murder against gays is a federal offense now. Are you ready to do back-to-back life sentences, Mr. Stuber? You will die in jail!

[whispers to Ryan] Is that true?

Uh, he'll take the 20 years you originally offered.

Cutter

It's 25 or nothing. Now or never, Mr. Stuber.

Is this Fed thing for real?

Yes, I'm afraid so.

I'll take the 25. That guy's nuts, you know that?

[looking sadly at Cutter] Yeah, I do.

I'm not sure your lieutenant shares our attitude toward cop killers.

Lt. Van Buren

Cop killers, we all feel the same about. Playing God, I'm not so sure.

I know you've been sick, Lieutenant, and I'm sorry about that. But, uh, maybe it's affecting your judgment.

Lt. Van Buren

[angry but controlled] I certainly hope so.

McCoy

Looks like you may be facing a lynch mob in the courtroom.

Cutter

Can you blame them? Maybe we should hand this one off to the Feds. The U.S. Attorney would lap this up.

Connie

The U.S. Attorney would execute his own mother to show what a hardass he is.

Hi-Top isn't much of a housekeeper.

Well, you know, the single crackhead lifestyle...