Bernard quotes from Law & Order

A stockbroker beaten to death in the middle of a workday? In this economy, this is the kind of thing that might catch on.

Just because somebody likes to collect presidential memorabilia, doesn't mean they don't appreciate a lap dance.

Every victim deserves our respect. Even the ones that raped forty women.

I hate dogs.

Oh yeah? Why's that?

A stupid nickname I had in Catholic school.

Saint Bernard. [Bernard glares at him] Lucky guess.

Sara Shipley, 24 years old, and according to her B Friends page, is an aspiring performance artist.

According to a bellboy we talked to at the hotel, she services clients for Excalibur Exclusives.

Lt. Van Buren

Excalibur Exclusives?

Mmm-hmm. It's an escort service for guys with really big swords.

Lt. Van Buren

They wish.

Fresh haircut, his nails are clean... he's too well-groomed to be living out on the street. He even tucked his shirt in.

He buttoned his top button.

Did you walk around like that when you were his age?

Not unless my mother made me.

[while looking at financial records] "Who needs math?", I told my teachers, "I'm gonna be a cop."

Don't feel bad. I said the same thing about biology. Now I spend half my life looking at autopsies.

Faxes from the city inspector approving the night shifts, the heavier loads.

Check this out. The number that this was faxed from doesn't match the number on the cover sheet.

631 area code. A city inspector faxing from the Hamptons on a weekday afternoon.

Nice work if you can get it.

Nice as you are, Lieu, I just don't see you stealing from the company till to pay for my wife's hospital bill... assuming I had a wife.

Lt. Van Buren

Who said I was nice?

I love small towns.

You know how many serial killers got their start in small towns?

You just missed Dick Cheney.

Trust me, I don't miss Dick Cheney.

No paper, no plastic, which means no take-out, no magazines, no paper towels…

Lt. Van Buren

No toilet paper?

Left hand and a bowl of water. [Van Buren and Bernard just stare at him] Half the world still does it that way.

Lt. Van Buren

That's nasty.

Hey, so when you were overseas, doing intel in the boonies… ?

Left hand and a bowl of water.

Lt. Van Buren

That's nasty.

We'll call Rubirosa for a subpoena.

Well, actually, in law school, that's what we call not such a good idea.

[holds up legal papers from dead man's folder] Charlie's divorce papers. Unsigned.

Well, the divorce is final now.

The Russian mob. I thought they were way past trucking, into counterfeiting, identity theft.

Lt. Van Buren

Well, this recession's tough on everyone.