Law & Order quotes

Ruthie, look, he's bluffing. Don't you see? It doesn't make any sense. First, he doesn't get to say where Petey goes. And second, he knows that Pete can win some kind of not guilty by mental deficiency. And third...

Stop! That was how you counted off the reasons forty years ago. Seven good reasons why we should give Petey away. First, he would be burden to me. Second, he needed medical care we couldn't give him. And on and on and on. All those logical reasons. And I gave away my baby! I can't do it again. I will not do it again.

Fresh haircut, his nails are clean... he's too well-groomed to be living out on the street. He even tucked his shirt in.

He buttoned his top button.

Did you walk around like that when you were his age?

Not unless my mother made me.

Cutter

You banished Patrick Friendly from True Path 3 years ago.

Because he violated our rules.

Cutter

He was a 17-year-old boy who smiled at the 16-year-old girl you had designs on.

I had a revelation.

Cutter

To have sex with a 16-year-old girl? Our prisons are filled with men who had such "revelations".

[while looking at financial records] "Who needs math?", I told my teachers, "I'm gonna be a cop."

Don't feel bad. I said the same thing about biology. Now I spend half my life looking at autopsies.

Faxes from the city inspector approving the night shifts, the heavier loads.

Check this out. The number that this was faxed from doesn't match the number on the cover sheet.

631 area code. A city inspector faxing from the Hamptons on a weekday afternoon.

Nice work if you can get it.

Nice as you are, Lieu, I just don't see you stealing from the company till to pay for my wife's hospital bill... assuming I had a wife.

Lt. Van Buren

Who said I was nice?

McCoy

One day you'll thank me for yanking your leash, Mike. Sometimes I wish someone had been there to yank mine.

[about Timmons] A bullet never found a more deserving home.

I love small towns.

You know how many serial killers got their start in small towns?

You just missed Dick Cheney.

Trust me, I don't miss Dick Cheney.

I'm looking for a man who's all man.

Honey, I am more man than you can handle.

McCoy

Can anybody around here read?

Cutter

I believe that is a requirement to graduate from law school.

No paper, no plastic, which means no take-out, no magazines, no paper towels…

Lt. Van Buren

No toilet paper?

Left hand and a bowl of water. [Van Buren and Bernard just stare at him] Half the world still does it that way.

Lt. Van Buren

That's nasty.

Hey, so when you were overseas, doing intel in the boonies… ?

Left hand and a bowl of water.

Lt. Van Buren

That's nasty.

We'll call Rubirosa for a subpoena.

Well, actually, in law school, that's what we call not such a good idea.

If we're wrong, we could get disbarred.

Like the world can't spare two lawyers?