Po quotes from Kung Fu Panda: Legends of Awesomeness

Po

Hello. Why do you want to leave the Furious Five, buddy?

Crane

I don't want to talk about it.

Po

Come on, you can tell me.

Crane

[defiantly] I said no!

Po

Tell me.

Crane

No.

Po

Tell me.

Crane

No.

Po

Tell me.

Crane

No.

Po

Tell me.

Crane

No.

Po

Tell me.

Crane

No!

Po

Tell me.

Crane

No--NO!

Po

I could do this forever. Is this how you want to spend the rest of your life?

Crane

[sighs] It's my mother. She's always been kind of… overprotective. [voice-over during a 2D animated flashback] She made me wear a full suit of armor till I was six years old. I wasn't allowed to run or play, and she tied pillows to all the sharp corners in the house. She just didn't believe I could take care of myself. But one day, I snuck out and went to… a kung fu class! It was amazing! I knew right then it was what I wanted to do with my life. Of course, the class may have been a wee bit advanced for me. I don't know how my mom found out, but ever since then, she's hated kung fu. The slightest hint of it gives her dangerous heart palpitations. So I had to promise I would never, ever, ever have anything to do with kung fu.

Po

[surprised] Whoa.

Crane

Po, my mom has a weak heart. If she knew I was a Kung Fu master, it would kill her.

Po

Are you sure she doesn't know?

Crane

Yes, 'cause she's not dead! I've been telling her that I… [sighs] Manage an inn. It's what she always wanted.

Po

Not like you… own an inn? Or you own a bunch of inns, or you invented inns?

Crane

No. Mother believes in keeping her expectations low. Anyway, I figured I could get away with it 'cause she hates traveling. So I thought she'd never come to visit. And now she's coming to visit!

Po

Huh?

Crane

[nervously worried] Oh, Po. What am I gonna do?

Po

[thinking; then gets an idea] Got it! You don't have to quit. We'll just pretend you're an inn manager. How long is she staying?

Crane

Just for the day. But it gets worse. I told her my inn is the Jade Palace. And that you and the Five work for me. And that Shifu is a poor, underprivileged simpleton who cleans the toilets!

Po

[shocked] What?!

[calling for him; off-screen] Yoo-hoo! Son!

Po

[covers his beak, silencing the screaming] Just keep her busy. [shoves him outside the noodle shop] Go!

Where are you?! [spots him; joyfully] Oh, my baby!

Po

[sits up, putting his hand on his head; groaning] Did we save the lychee nuts?

Shifu

You're lucky to be alive, panda.

Mantis

[sighs in disappointment] It's my fault. Lidong was too big.

Monkey

You did what you could, considering you're so… Uh, green?

Mantis

I should have been able to take that guy.

Po

How? Lidong once fought Tigress to a stand still.

Tigress

His size is formidable. You never had a chance.

Mantis

Yeah, because I'm comically tiny! That's what you're all thinking, isn't it?

Shifu

A true master realizes his limits. Only then can he push past them.

Mantis

Well, maybe it's time I pushed my limits. I'm not gonna be the weak link on this team. No way! [hops away]

Crane

Tiny people can be so sensitive.

Zeng

Master Shifu, it's Mei Ling!

Shifu

[alarmed] Mei Ling?! Lock the doors! Man the gates! Double the guard!

Po

Mei Ling? Oh, no!

Zeng

Mistress Mei Ling.

Mantis

Mmm, razza frapsit.

Good to see you, Zeng. Miss me?

Zeng

Uh, maybe a little.

Mm, let me guess. Shifu's students, right?

Po

Yeah, sorry, Miss Ling, uh, you just missed Shifu. He's…not here.

Oh, such a shame. I was hoping he'd be hiding in that cabinet. [opens the cabinet and finds Shifu clinging onto the cabinet door]

Shifu

Gah! Stay back! Don't come any closer.

Po

[whispering to Monkey] Why is Shifu so afraid of her?

Viper

She beat Shifu!

[chuckles] I always do. He never could bring himself to fight his own girlfriend.

Po

Girlfriend? [faints and Monkey lifts him back up on his feet] Girlfriend?!

Shifu

Ex-girlfriend, and evil incarnate.

Mm, so dramatic. But yes, I suppose I was a bit of a bad girl back in the day. [2D animated flashback begins; voice-over] Shifu was a young prodigy. I was a rogue Kung Fu master. It was love at first fight. We became quite the item, but it couldn't last. [they both walk down the road, holding hands, until an ox warrior with a golden tooth appears, and they take him down together] Shifu felt a higher calling. But I used Kung Fu as a way to make a living. When I refused to change my ways, Shifu dumped me. He cared more about the honor of Kung Fu than he cared about me.

Shifu

That's not true. [turns to her] I cared about you very much, it's just that--

Po

Wait, I totally get it! Mei Ling doesn't scare you because she can beat you, she scares you 'cause you're afraid you still like her.

Shifu

I, uh… Po, that's ridiculous.

Po

Your mouth says "no," but your eyes say "Don't mind if I do." [brings him and Mei Ling closer together] Forbidden love, so romantic!

Shifu

[denying] Never. Mei Ling is a petty thief.