Po, Crane and others in “Mama Told Me Not to Kung Fu”

Hello. Why do you want to leave the Furious Five, buddy?

I don't want to talk about it.

Come on, you can tell me.

[defiantly] I said no!

Tell me.

No.

Tell me.

No.

Tell me.

No.

Tell me.

No.

Tell me.

No!

Tell me.

No--NO!

I could do this forever. Is this how you want to spend the rest of your life?

[sighs] It's my mother. She's always been kind of… overprotective. [voice-over during a 2D animated flashback] She made me wear a full suit of armor till I was six years old. I wasn't allowed to run or play, and she tied pillows to all the sharp corners in the house. She just didn't believe I could take care of myself. But one day, I snuck out and went to… a kung fu class! It was amazing! I knew right then it was what I wanted to do with my life. Of course, the class may have been a wee bit advanced for me. I don't know how my mom found out, but ever since then, she's hated kung fu. The slightest hint of it gives her dangerous heart palpitations. So I had to promise I would never, ever, ever have anything to do with kung fu.

[surprised] Whoa.

Po, my mom has a weak heart. If she knew I was a Kung Fu master, it would kill her.

Are you sure she doesn't know?

Yes, 'cause she's not dead! I've been telling her that I… [sighs] Manage an inn. It's what she always wanted.

Not like you… own an inn? Or you own a bunch of inns, or you invented inns?

No. Mother believes in keeping her expectations low. Anyway, I figured I could get away with it 'cause she hates traveling. So I thought she'd never come to visit. And now she's coming to visit!

Huh?

[nervously worried] Oh, Po. What am I gonna do?

[thinking; then gets an idea] Got it! You don't have to quit. We'll just pretend you're an inn manager. How long is she staying?

Just for the day. But it gets worse. I told her my inn is the Jade Palace. And that you and the Five work for me. And that Shifu is a poor, underprivileged simpleton who cleans the toilets!

[shocked] What?!

[calling for him; off-screen] Yoo-hoo! Son!

[covers his beak, silencing the screaming] Just keep her busy. [shoves him outside the noodle shop] Go!

Where are you?! [spots him; joyfully] Oh, my baby!