Mr. Ping quotes from Kung Fu Panda: Legends of Awesomeness

Mr. Ping

[As the puppet] Oh, someone has a sad face! What's your name, little girl?

Tigress

Back away.

Mr. Ping

[As the puppet] Oh, and would Back Away like a pretty flower?

Tigress

No.

Po

Hey, Dad.

Mr. Ping

How could you treat me like this?!

Po

What?!

Mr. Ping

Junjie is holding Shifu prisoner, and Po went the Jade Palace to rescue him, all alone. You have to help him.

Tigress

[wearing bunny ears] Ha, help Po? After what he did? Are you serious?

Mr. Ping

Would you mind taking off those ears?

Crane

He probably just made that up about Shifu. I mean, Junjie is a Shaolin master.

Mr. Ping

[grabs Crane by the beak and pulls him down to his face; seriously] Listen to me, limp-beak! My son may be not perfect. He may be big and loud and clumsy and annoying and impatient and hot-headed and...where...where am I going with this?

Mr. Ping

[standing on a pedestal] Hello! And welcome to the Jade Palace Master Kung Fu Charity Auction! And brought to you by Ping's Noodle Shop. This week only, all noodle soup profits go directly to the new children's hospital. [a group of kids cheer] But not dessert profits. [the kids groan sadly] What? Let's not go cuckoo crazy here. Hmm… okay… dessert profits too. [the kids cheer again] Okay, okay, let's get right to the bidding! First up, Master Tigress!

Tigress

[to Po; smugly] Watch and learn, charitable chump.

Mr. Ping

Next up, Master Crane!

Crane

[sneezes and snorts the mucus back in his nose, shortly after, making the crowd react in disgust] Excuse me. Lot of allergens in the air. [makes strained honking sounds] It'll, uh, it'll clear up in a second. [sneezes loudly and uncontrollably as the crowd follows his back-and-forth pacing and Po cringes in embarrassment]

Mr. Ping

Well, that was unattractive. Okay, do I hear 40? Eh… 39? 33? Oh, really… oh, 7?

Crane

[to Po; sadly] Sorry I ruined your auction, Po. [leaves the stage in rejection, realizing he lost his reputation and confidence]

Po

But, Crane… [Crane sneezes off-screen] mean to… That didn't go very well, did it?

Mantis

Oh, you figured that all out by yourself?

Mr. Ping

The people are watching. Continue the auction! Let's keep the, uh, good times rolling with the Dragon Warrior!

Mr. Ping

[appearing out of cover after Fenghuang flees] Let's hear it for the Dragon Warrior and the Furious Five!

[referring to Crane with his beak still stuck to the wall] More like the Furious Four.

Crane

I'm okay! I got this! [frees himself by landing in the center of the crowd, and they all laugh mockingly at him] Ha, ha. Why don't you paint a picture? It'll last longer.

Mr. Ping

It is with great pleasure that I announce the grand opening of the new children's hospital! Master Crane, as one of the most respected and loved members of the Furious Five, will you do the honors?

Crane

Well, uh… Me? [two bunny kids give him back his hat before putting it back on his head]

Po

[giving him a thumbs-up] Way to go, buddy.

Crane

[cuts the red ribbon with his beak, declaring the children's hospital open, and everyone cheers; then starts coughing and wheezing] Was that ribbon made of silk?! [snorting]

Tigress

[sighs] Let's get him inside.

Monkey

He's allergic to silk?

Mantis

Of course.

Mr. Ping

[laughs nervously] Let's hear it for Master Crane, the hospital's first patient!