Monkey quotes from Kung Fu Panda: Legends of Awesomeness

Monkey

Okay, let’s see this plate his Kwan’s Jaw. Try to stop to punched. Early. More early, try again. Keep trying.

Monkey

?

Po

[to Monkey] What in the ran out of the plates?!

Shifu

Panda, you're next! Ten seconds to get to the other side unscathed!

Po

[Begins through the Gauntlet of Wooden Warriors; he blocks two of the Warrior's arms] Cat-like reflexes!

Monkey

[Flies in from the roof] HUAH!

Po

Monkey?!

Monkey

[Stuffs his fingers up Po's nose] Ha ha! Two points for Monkey! [Pulls back his fist] Lights out, Po!

Po

What are you trying to do?

Monkey

[Dazed voice] Destroy Po!.

Po

Monkey, you don't think I'm going to become dark, twisted, and villainous, do you?

Monkey

Oh, you heard about Fenghuang?

Po

How do you know?

Monkey

Well, they say Fenghuang had very special skills that Oogway recognized and refined. [voice-over during a 2D animated flashback she's training in the training hall, under Oogway's supervision] As he trained her, she just got stronger. Until she was the most powerful of the Five, and that's when she started to change. She challenged Oogway to fight, declaring that she would be the master of the Jade Palace. But Oogway had been expecting this. He had built an inescapable owl-shaped cage.

Po

[voice-over] An owl-shaped cage?

Monkey

[voice-over] But, he would have to defeat her to get her in it. [Oogway and Fenghuang start engaging in a fight and after that, Fenghuang is left injured] She could not defeat Oogway, but she could run. [Fenghuang flies away, leaving the Jade Palace as Oogway and the old Five watch; end of flashback] There's a rumor she's been up in the Northern Mountains, too afraid of Oogway to return.

Po

And now everyone thinks that I'm gonna go bad just like she did!

Crane

Sorry, Po. I spent my last few coins on a new nasal irrigator. Ain't she a beaut? But, uh, I'd be happy to donate my services in any way I can. Uh, excuse me.

Po

Wait a minute, great idea! We can all donate our services!

Tigress

Which means?

Po

We'll hold a Jade Palace Fancy-Pants Auction!

Monkey

You mean, get people to bid money on us?

Po

Right. Whoever bids the most, gets to spend the day with their favorite Kung Fu master. Is that an incredibly awesome idea or what?

Tigress

I doubt Master Shifu would approve.

Po

He won't know. He's off on his yearly pilgrimage to enhance his spiritual powers.

Shifu

[getting his back massaged by a bunny woman jumping on him; sighs in relaxation] Just a little to the left. There-- Ah! Thank you.

Monkey

No auction for me, Po. What if Mrs. Yoon bids on me? She smells like paste! Paste!

Mr. Ping

It is with great pleasure that I announce the grand opening of the new children's hospital! Master Crane, as one of the most respected and loved members of the Furious Five, will you do the honors?

Crane

Well, uh… Me? [two bunny kids give him back his hat before putting it back on his head]

Po

[giving him a thumbs-up] Way to go, buddy.

Crane

[cuts the red ribbon with his beak, declaring the children's hospital open, and everyone cheers; then starts coughing and wheezing] Was that ribbon made of silk?! [snorting]

Tigress

[sighs] Let's get him inside.

Monkey

He's allergic to silk?

Mantis

Of course.

Mr. Ping

[laughs nervously] Let's hear it for Master Crane, the hospital's first patient!

Po

[sits up, putting his hand on his head; groaning] Did we save the lychee nuts?

Shifu

You're lucky to be alive, panda.

Mantis

[sighs in disappointment] It's my fault. Lidong was too big.

Monkey

You did what you could, considering you're so… Uh, green?

Mantis

I should have been able to take that guy.

Po

How? Lidong once fought Tigress to a stand still.

Tigress

His size is formidable. You never had a chance.

Mantis

Yeah, because I'm comically tiny! That's what you're all thinking, isn't it?

Shifu

A true master realizes his limits. Only then can he push past them.

Mantis

Well, maybe it's time I pushed my limits. I'm not gonna be the weak link on this team. No way! [hops away]

Crane

Tiny people can be so sensitive.