That's me. (bagpipes playing) (beeps) Look, one of the contestants just sent me a picture of herself playing flute for senior citizens while
What a generous, caring, attractive-- (Nick takes Joe's cellphone to break it in half) What are you doing? (cracks)
You could've just deleted the photo. (Nick gives Joe's cellphone back to him)
StellaSo how's the miss most pathetic teen competition?
It's the most amazing teen competition. Duh.
It's cool. These girls actually have a lot more going for them than you think.
Stella
Oh, how sweet... and naive. They don't.
You just don't understand 'cause you're not the pagent type.
Stella
What do you mean I'm not the pagent type?
He just means that these girls are beautiful...
And really talented. Not that you're not all those things.
Stella
Those girls are noting but a bunch of bubble-headed gorgeous robots. If I wanted to, I could win that pageant with half my brains tied behind my back.
Wait a minute-- half your brains hanging out battling a bunch of beautiful robots? Now that is a competition I would pay to see.
Stella
I don't need a pageant to tell me that I'm just as pretty and talented as any of those girls, not to mention feminine, demure and very very delicate. Make a hole!
Stella
Gentlemen, the next miss most amazing teen... (mimics cheering) Stella Malone. (softly) Thank you. Thank you so much.
Stella
I have officially entered the competition.
How did you even get in? The deadline for enteries was weeks ago.
Stella
For some reason, Maggie Belle decided to allow one extra girl into the competition this year. (Maggie's razor buzzing) I'm gonna beat these bubble-headed beauty bots at their own game. (laughs) Not that I care.
Way to go. That's a good attitude.
You've got to be in it to win it.
You should really go for it.
Stella
You guys are the best.
TATV announcer
This Saturday it's the miss most amazing teen competition with special judges JONAS! Don't miss five time champion Carrie Sue North as she takes on all corners.
CCarrie
For me, it's not about the competition. It's about enjoying the company of other girls who are almost as amazing as me. See you Saturday night.
TATV announcer
Watch her do that Saturday night on stilts.
I don't think Stella knows what she's gotten herself into.
This is not gonna end well.
Whoever told her to go for this a real doorknob. And yes, I know it was me.
Stella
Everybody is watching the video. I'm going to move to a town where there's no internet. (takes her sunglasses off) I'm going to be going to school on a donkey.
All right, before you go donkey shopping, why don't you check out what everyone's really watching?
It's not what you think, okay? Watch.
Stella
(rock music playing) I personally believe that, uh today's most pressing problem is, uh, U.S Americans unable--
Stella
You guys actually found a way to make my flub look cool.
There's already over 8 million hits on the video, plus people don't even care what happened at the pageant.
Stella
I don't know how thank you guys.
Yeah. We just stayed all night writing a song, recording it, assembling a camera crew and editing all the footage together. But it was really nothing.
Stella
Oh... You guys are the best. Thank you. (hugging Nick, Joe and Kevin) (walks towards a cart) I mean, you know how much I hate looking silly. (shrieks) (camera phones clicking)
I'll call the camera crew.
I wish there was a falling-- in-the-trashcan-competition. She would be so good at that. Right, guys? (asks Joe and Nick but they left him alone then )
MOMan on TV
And only one of the monkeys had a driver's license. Turning in teen pageant news, the winner of this weekend's miss most amazing teen competition was Miss Carrie Sue North. (Joe turns off the TV)
Stella, we could just watch something else.
Stella
No no no no, it's fine. I just-- I just can't listen to anymore pageant stuff. Ugh. I've had it up to here with sashes and crowns. I never want anything to do with pageants ever ever again. See you at school. (thunks)
MOMan on TV
Joe turns on the TV after Stella leaves) Unfortunately, Carrie Sue North broke down under the stress of being a five-time champion and threw up on the president. Looks like JONAS have to pick another winner. (pop music playing) (Stella climbs up the pole and giggles and waves)
Stella
(returns while greeting Kevin, Joe and Nick) Well, hello, boys. (Joe, Nick and Kevin are shocked)
Stella Malone, stylist extraordinaire, with the pretty hair how do you feel about not going on tour with the band this time?
Stella
Can we stop talking about the tour? They're going, we know that. It's not a big deal. (sobbing) I'm gonna miss them so much. I mean, I can't believe I'm not going with them. Thanks for noticing my hair.
Then come with us. We need you, Stella.
Stella
I mean, I wish I could. But my internship with Jacques Le Faget. That's like a once-in-a-lifetime thing. I'm gonna learn so much. I'm really excited.
That handsome old man is dad of JONAS.
Hey, Stella. (sees that Kevin, Nick and Joe are studying) Oh, that's what I love to see. My boys are cracking the books. All right. Now don't forget, if you pass these exams tomorrow, then you will have to stay here and repeat the class.
We know and that means no tour.
Which means no amazing split.
Which saves us a trip to the emergency room in some foreign country.
"Love sick" is the perfect opener.
Sure, girls go crazy. They cry, they scream. They try and rip off our clothes. Especially you, Joe. (Stella walks by while carrying a sewing kit then she sits)
Stella
You know, I don't think you guys should do that song. I mean, the last thing rockstars need is a mob of excited screaming girls just rushing to the stage. You know that's dangerous. Especially you, Joe. Fine, whatever. Do the song.
Stella
How's it going? The guys are trying on the new look I designed for the tour.
Stella
What? I think it looks really good. I mean, haven't you seen opera singers? They have to keep their vocal cords warm, so they wear scarves
You can't even see a square inch of my skin.
Stella
Girls can look at your hands. I mean, they covered in skin. "Get Joe gloves."
Dad said he was gonna call the school. I'll get an update.
Stella
Okay, tour wardrobe is all put away. Everything is back to normal. (walks between Kevin and Joe and touches Joe's knee) Snow angels?
Stella
I'm hungry. I say pizza, who's in?
I'll call Maria. Hey, Stell, um... you don't really seem that bummed that the tour just got canceled.
Stella
Oh, well... Oh, I mean, I can't say I'm not not bummed that I'll get to see you every day over the summer.
Stella
What about you, Joe?
I can say that I'm not unhappy that you're not not bummed.
Stella
Well, that makes me kind of happy. I mean, you can understand that, right?
I mean, that depends. What are we talking about?
Stella
Um, pizza.
You're right, yeah. Let's go get that.
(runs to tell his brothers) Guys, guys, dad just got off the phone with the school. Nick gets to take a makeup test, which means if he gets a certain score, which is-- what is it again?
That means the tour's back on. Five-second dance party.
What? I had two seconds left.
There's no way I can get 100.
Sure it is. It's easy. Just get them all right.
I took on way too many things-- the test. the tour preparations. Thought I could handle it, but... now I have no time to learn what I need to know.
Kevin, you got a "D" in geometry.
Yes, and he got an "F." So if we combine our two scores, we get a... "E." We get an "E."
And I'm the one that failed the test.
(writes on couple papers) I just came up with awesome way for Nick to ace that geometry. Check it out.
Do you really think this will work? It is like the oldest trick in the book.
Mmm, let's test it out, shall we? (opens the book) No, see, the oldest trick in the book is... what's that on your shirt?
Right, you got me. (fells for the trick)
What I came up for Nick is the second-oldest trick in the book. It's right after... the oldest trick in the book is what's that on your shirt?
What? Oh! You got me again. (fells for it a second time) Oh, Joe, your shoe's untied. Watch out.
Kevin, do you really think I'm gonna fall for the third-oldest trick in the book? (thuds)
Whoo, what drama. The bigger-and-better-than-the-last-tour tour, was on again, off again, and now it's back on again thanks to Nick acing his test. Yay, Nick!
This is been an incredible journey and a very difficult decision. But as you know, I can only take three of you on tour with me. So, Olivia... Lulu... and Grace, you will be coming on tour with me. And to the others, I want you to stay in tune until I come home. (sighs) I will miss you. (he walks away)
Stella
Come on, Joe. I want to see what you look like. (Joe walks out of the bathroom) You look-- you look great.
I'm gonna miss you, Stell. (hugs her goodbye)
Stella
Aw, don't start. I'm gonna cry. And I can't be responsible for how cute I might look.
You sure, you okay with this?
Stella
Yeah, I mean, I just have to get used to the fact that you're a rock star with girl fans. Just don't forget about the girl back home that sews your pants.
Of course I won't. What's her name again? (Stella slaps Joe friendly when he forgots her name then Joe smiles)
You remember Joe's flip and split? Well, he finally went for it and I got it. But there's a little glitch. You'll see it.
Okay, for the first time ever... tried by a lead singer. Rock and roll! (doing a flip and split but failed)
I'm fine. I'm fine. Just something coming out of my nose, and I think it's my tooth.
What up, fans? Macy here, your online source for all things JONAS. We just landed in sunny California. Check out all the glitz and glamour.
Stella
Macy, a little help here.
Sorry, just getting in a quick video blog. So, stella, care to comment on your Will-they-or-won't-they joe-mance?
Stella
Camera off.
Stella
Okay, first of all, what did I tell you about acting like a crazy JONAS fan person?
Stella
Thank you. And second, I'm not telling the whole world about me and Joe.
You're not even telling me about you and Joe. Are you guys going to be a couple or what?
Stella
I don't know. It has been two months. I barely remember what he looks like. (Macy shows Stella a picture of Joe) Oh, darn it. He's cute.
And by the end of the day he may just be your boyfriend.
Stella
I know.
Stella
Aunt Lisa.
Stella
Thank you. Thanks for picking us up.
Stella
Where are you parked.
Oh, right here. Pile in. Cute bag.
Stella
Okay, so Barnaby is still with us... I think. (Aunt Lisa chuckles) Barnaby. Barnaby. (cat meows, growls)
Now listen, I know I'm your chaperone this summer, but remember, I'm the cool aunt, okay? You can tell me anything.
Stella's gonna date Joe from JONAS.
What? I'm calling your mom.
Stella
Aunt Lisa. I thought you were the cool aunt.
Not when it comes to dating rock stars. I made that mistake once. Okay, 12 times.
Stella
No, Joe's different. I mean, I've known him since we were little kids. He's funny. And he's sweet and smart.
Yeah, and he's still a rock star. Look, honey, I just-- there's always gonna be another girl, and I just don't want to see you get hurt.(melodic ring tone playing)
Stella
That's Joe's ring. Where's my phone?
Stella
Where's my phone?
Stella
I'm sorry. Find it. Find it.
Hey, Stell, hope you landed okay. Anyway, we're throwing a party tonight. Can't wait to see you. Call me. Oh, sorry.
It's fine. I'm fine. Wow, you're Joe from JONAS.
Vanessa Page. Your show rocks. Me and my brothers never miss an episode of "Malibu High."
That means so much, because I love your work.
So seriously. Your last album helped me get through a bad haircut.
Stella
Play it again.
Stella
Okay, stop.
He calls you Stell. It's a cute nickname. It's affectionate.
My rocker had a nickname for me too-- Lis, as in, "hey, Lis, it's over. Can I get my cat back?" Could he, Barnaby? (Barnaby meows)
Stella
Keep going.
Stella
Stop.
He's aware of your itinerary. And he cares about your safety.
Stella
More.
Anyway, we're throwing a party tonight.
Stella
Stop. Okay, big question-- who is "we Is it "we" as in him and his brothers Or "we" as in him and--
The laker girls? Let's roll.
Okay, can I say something? Joe called and said he can't wait to see you. So let's go to Aunt Lisa's, get super pretty And go blow up the party. What do you say?
Stella
(sighs) I say yes. And you know what? When I see Joe, everything will just be clear.
Hi, hello. Yeah, I'm gonna need a push over here. So just put your back into it. Thanks.
Hey, fans. It's Macy here again. We are at the crib de la JONAS, which is really bad spanish, but it's still a pretty cool place. Let's check in with the guys and see what they have planned this summer. So Kevin, what's up?
Oh, hey. Just feeding my baby. Found out bacon grease made her backfire. But what she really loves is Chinese. So big shout to all my friends over at hunan lotus. Thanks for sending over all that peanut oil. Oh, and keep frying up those greasy egg rolls.
This book's got it all-- It's got adventure, romance. The cover's pretty cool. And the movie's starring Vanessa Page, although she told me to keep that totes hush-hush.
You realize this is going on the web?
Stella
Say hello to our new summer roommate.
Hi. I spoke to Stella's mom and we decided the best way to chaperone these girls was up close and personal.
Stella
Awesome. Thanks, mom.
Just doing a video blog about what the band is up to this summer.
Just working on a california-inspired song.
Oh, can you give the fans a preview?
(plays one note) We've only been here one day.
Yo, what's up, people? D.Z. Here. And this summer I plan to spend 24/7 with JONAS. I mean, if the days were longer, We'd probably spend 25/8, right?
BMBig Man
You got my muffins?
Okay, well, that was the behind-the-scenes look. Macy Misa is saying Welcome to a summer like no other.
Jonas · 237 quotes
