Stella, there you are. I have the Coler interview with JONAS.
StellaI'm really not interested. (starts to walk away)
(reads) "Friendship is a major chord in the life of JONAS. They couldn't stop talking about their stylist and best friend, Stella Malone." (Stella stops walking away)
Stella
(turns around and walks back to Macy) Okay, give me that. (takes Macy's cellphone) "Said Joe, we feel blessed to have Stella in our lives. She's my inspiration." Oh.(Joe, Nick and Kevin enter the hallway to walk to Stella and Macy) (turns around while hiding Macy's phone)
Stella, I know you probably never wanna see us again...
Which would be kinda hard, since we go to school together and you work with us...
Unless you want to make yourself some really fantastic blindfolds.
We just want you to know that we're really really really really really sorry.
Stella
How sorry?
Really really really really really sorry.
Stella
I don't know. It seems like a pretty crummy way to treat your inspiration.
"Inspiration"? Wait a minute. You read the article.
Stella
Oh-- what? What article?
How long were you going to make us sweat?
Stella
I cleared my afternoon. (chuckles) Guys, what you said in the Coler interview was the best birthday present I could've ever asked for.
Stella
Yeah. Thank you. (hugs Joe, Kevin and Nick)
Oh. Guys. (also hugs Joe, Kevin and Nick) (grunts)
Come on, five-second dance party! (dance music playing) (he dances) Who’s in it? (music stops) I’m turning into my father. (walks away)
Oh, hello there. I didn't see you come in. I was just reading a story. Or should I say "gory"? Would you like to hear it? Of course you would! Ha ha ha ha! So now I bring you the tale of the haunted firehouse. (Nick and Joe walk to Kevin at their bedroom)
If this was your jacket, could I do this? (rips)
Stella
Did I just hear Joe's jacket rip?
Ahh! (he, Nick and Joe are running to their poles to slide down) (Joe and Nick slide down but Kevin holds onto his pole before his hands are magically not on the pole) Ooh! Enjoy the show.(thumps) Ow!
Thanks to Nick's cookie, I totally had the most fun ever in calculus.
Stella
So, how do you think you think?
Oh, I absolutely failed. (Macy, Stella and Joe look at him) But thanks to Nick's cookie, I could care less. (Van Dyke walks to Kevin, Joe, Stella and Macy)
Hey, Stells, you busy Saturday?
Van Dyke, Stella's not gonna want to--
Stella
(Joe looks at her) I'm not busy.
You are now. You and the van man are gonna hit up the new restaurant. They serve like 17 different types of meat.
Dude, you're talking about "El Meat"? That place will wrap anything you want in bacon.
Oh, give me a meaty high five! (he and Kevin high five each other)
Stella
That sounds great.(Kevin looks at Stella while smiling) (Joe also looks at Stella then he and Macy look at each other and both of them are smiling) Actually, you know, I'm gonna have to pass 'cause Joe and I have chemistry.
Stella
J-- Joe and I have to study for chemistry 'cause we have a chemistry test with chemicals.
Hey, it's cool. Next time, maybe.
Stella
Yeah, sure. Maybe. Well, I have history. (groans) Bye. (walks away) (Kevin and Joe leave)
Oh yeah, you're that girl-dude. At the inter-league baseball game, you struck me out seven times.
Actually, it was 11 times.
The officials were. Yeah, they wrote in the record book and on the trophy.
Well, you were dressed like a guy.
Well, you screamed like a girl.
Fair enough. (he walks upstairs)
Hey, Stella, can we talk about you and me?
Stella
You and me, Joe? Um... sure what's up?
You should go out with Van Dyke.
Stella
How is that about you and me?
If you want to go out with Van Dyke, don't let me stop you.
Stella
Oh. Okay. First-- wow. Second-- huh? And third-- huh? Again.
I mean, don't say no to Van Dyke because of me.
Stella
I'm not saying no to Van Dyke because of you. And why are you suddenly all up in my personal life?
Hey, whatever you want to do in your personal is fine with me.
(clears throat) Stop talking!
You have my blessing to go out with whoever you want.
Oh, for the love of all that is Mike, stop talking.
(walks to the table) Oh! Hey, Stells! Since you're not free on Saturday-- (his backpack drops on Nick's head) (Nick pushes Van Dyke's backpack away)
Stella
Actually, um-- I-- I am free on Saturday. (giggles) And if you're still free...
Touchdown. How about I pick you up at 7?
Stella
I'll be ready at 6:50.
Cool. I'll walk you to the planetarium.
Stella
This school doesn't have a planetarium, but okay.
So what's your favorite color? (leaves with Stella)
Why didn't you stop me from talking? (asks Nick)
How's that? (stands up while he takes his folders and puts a sticky note with a frown on Joe's mouth) (Nick leaves)
And-- oh! Come on! Uh-unh! What you got? Yes, I block it! (grunting) And, he scores! Yes! Take that, Kevin! (hooting)
(enters and sees the empty trays and basket) Hey, Kev.
Pretty good. I'm winning 273 to 194. (crowd cheering) And now i'm losing 194 to 273. (whimpers) (crowd booing)
Looks like you're having a great time.
(panting) Actually, it looks that way, doesn't it? But actually, I'm having a terrible time! I can't stop. Why can't I stop? Oh look! Cardio! That'll help. Why can't I stop, Nick? Why can't I stop? Oh look, the guitar! Hey, Nick, I wrote a new slow song. You want to hear it? Okay! (plays fast rock music) What do you think? Yeah, it's a little boring in the middle. I don't know what I'm doing!
It's all those cookies that I made you. You're having a sugar rush. (Kevin gives Nick the guitar) (Nick puts the guitar down)
It's not your fault! I have a confession to make. Last night, when you were sleeping, I hypnotized you so you would make me more of your cookies that little voice inside your head-- that was me!
I have a confession to make. I was actually awake. I made all those cookies on purpose to try and teach you a lesson.
That you have no self-control. And once you've learned that lesson, you can take a few in knitting because that thing is way long.
Well, how can I make it stop?
Don't worry about that, you'll crash soon enough.
I don't know if I will, Nick. (walks to the recliner and Nick takes the blanket off it)I think I can do this for days. It's like I'll never stop. (snoring)
(storming upstairs) I'll tell this much, I'm never speaking to that girl again. If she thinks she can tell me what to do--
Stella
Joe, get down here!
I'm coming! (slides down his pole)
(puts blanket on Kevin) Good night, cookie.
(wakes up then goes back to sleep) Cookie!
Stella
(enters the house) Don't give me "what up" all innocent like you don't know what up. I don't know how someone can be so conceited and selfish and just-- just thoughtless.
Yeah, well, you are stuck-up, pretentious and totally gorgeous.
Stella
Gorgeous?!
Stella
You said I was gorgeous.
I-- I meant adorable, so adorable, you make me sick.
Stella
Oh, I'm sorry. If I'm so sickeningly adorable, then why did you come to the restaurant tonight?
Why did you go out with Van Dyke?
Stella
Because he asked me! Isn't that how it works, Joe? A guy asks out a girl because he likes he?
What about a guy not asking a girl because he likes her, huh? Have you ever thought about that?
Stella
What?!
I didn't want to wreck everything, you and me don't have together.
Stella
That makes absolutely no sense!
Yeah? Well, sometimes, things don't make sense. (going to kiss Stella)
Stella
Okay, like-- Oh. Um, I see your point. And I shall see you tomorrow. (accidently takes the watermelon rather than her purse) This is not my purse. (she leaves the watermelon at the house and takes her purse with her then leaves) (Joe falls down)
(screams) Get them away from me!
Good boy. (Joe and Stella walk to Kevin and Nick) You two seem to be friends again.
We never stopped being friends. (takes the guitar off)
Stella
Oh no, we just agreed to forget everything that happened last night.
Stella
Definitely. The whole thing was ridiculous and best forgotten.
I don't even know what we're talking about.
Sweet, so everything's back to normal?
Stella
Totally normal. (school bell rings)
Stella
Great. (she kisses Joe then they take each other's belonging by mistake and they leave opposite directions but they return their belongings back to each other) (Stella and Joe murmur)
(panting) It's not your fault! I have a confession to make. Last night, when you were sleeping, I hypnotized you so you would make me more of your cookies that little voice inside your head-- that was me!
I'm sorry. (Kevin laughs, groans) (crew laughing)
M1Man 1#
Okay, here we go.
M2Man 2#
Still rolling. (Kevin and Nick leave)
I'm watching you. You two seem to be friends again.
Yeah, we-- (stammers) (crew laughing) (Stella waves at the camera)
Stella
I would like to go home now, Van Dyke, please. Oh! Oh! (squealing)
Of course, Stella, I'll call my mom. (mimics zapping noises) (he pretends to be shocked) (all laughing)
I really think you're going to like the atrium. It's like having the outside on the inside.
An outside inside outside-- you're right, I love it.
(laughs) Oh good. (Nick, Joe and Stella are going to spy on Kevin and Anya)
Stella
Oh, look at Kevin. He must be freezing. I mean, his lips are turning blue.
That always happens when he likes a girl.
You know, I've really missed you, since we ended our tour in Scandinavia.
Me too. Do you know what else I've missed since Scandinavia? (takes a cd player from her bag)
KAKevin and Anya
(unison) Our song! (pop music playing) (they started dancing)
Stella
She dances just like my grandma. Well, back, when she had her own hips.
Quick, everybody look serious in a different direction.
Stella
She dances just like my grandma. Well, back when she had her own hips. (Nick stops watching Kevin and Anya dancing then turns around to see other students laughing) (Nick stands up and he walks to Joe and Stella then Nick grabs their arms)
No one would dance with me like this back at home. They think I'm different.
You know, me too. You know, we have a winter wonderland dance coming up.
(stops dancing and turns around to notice that the other students are laughing) (stops the boombox) (the students are still laughing) I made you a present.
Uh-huh. (takes a snow globe from her bag and gives it to Kevin)
It's an outside on the inside.
In an outside inside outside.
You know, I'm happy on the inside and outside. (ballad music playing)
See? You know, I feel like we're really alike, except you have blonde hair and I have brown hair. (Anya picks up her bag)
And I'm wearing a dress and you're wearing pants.
And your name's Anya and my name's Kevin. (school bell ringing) School. (opens the door for him and Anya)
(runs fast to tell Stella, Joe and Nick) Excuse me! Someone posted unauthorized pictures of the guys on my JONAS website. Look. Oh hang on, I’m not really sure how to use my new smart phone yet, (barking noise come from phone) oops, I think I just bought a puppy.
Ooh, I was in the middle of sneezing there.
Look at this one. I'm in the middle of a yawn. But, I still look pretty good. (Stella punched him) Ow.
Stella
There's obviously undercover paparazzi at school.
Maybe we should handle this like they do on "Crime Scene Cops." First you need some cool shades, then the cool camera angles. When we get our hands on the guys taking these photos, it won't be a pretty picture. (guitar riff plays) Hey-yyyy!
Shh. You'll ruin the moment. Now everyone, look serious in a different direction.
Maybe we should spend time looking cool and more time looking for the guy who did this.
(punched Nick lightly) Good thinking, detective. Maybe it's a janitor hiding a camera in his mop! I'm keeping my eye on you. (gives the broken mop back to the janitor then he walks away then Macy, Stella and Nick leave opposite directions) Hey, lunch lady, why are you walking so fast?
I'll find you, you evil undercover paparazzi. (her cellphone beeps) Oh no, my new phone is take pictures and uploading them to my website by itself. (gasps) The evil undercover paparazzi is me!
Stella
Okay, I am done with you, you are going to feel like the perfect girlfriend for Kevin. First lesson, I am going to teach you how to walk gracefully. Watch me. (shows a demonstration and Anya watches)
Stella
I know.
How did you get your bones to move like that?
Stella
Oh, you just pretend you don't have any.
Oh! (tries to walk gracefully but can't)
Stella
And canceling my afternoon plans.
Stella
When you're on a date, it's always nice to start with a compliment. For example, I might say to you, you have a wonderful smile.
Thank you! I have six teeth too many.
Stella
What?
Stella
Oh. Good, thanks. Now you go. Go ahead, compliment me.
Uh... huh-uh. You have very big hands for such a small girl.
Stella
Oh yeah? They found sharks with less teeth than you. I mean... I think you're really starting to get it. Let's move on. Kevin? (he turns around) Aha... um, whoa, hey. I was gonna say I had a surprise for you but I think you beat me to it.
Stella
As a matter of fact... I have. I turned her into an American girlfriend for you.
Hey, Kev. What's up bro-ham?
Stella
Whoa whoa whoa. Um, we didn't rehearse that greeting. Uh, what's with the fake dog?
I'm totally allergic to real dogs, but I totally wasn't going to let that stop me from having the totally perfect American girl accessory.
Stella
What about all the stuff we worked on?
Oh, I found much better stuff in this magazine.
Anya, what happened to you?
Oh, my name's not Anya anymore. It's Kimmy. I changed it. With a little, you know, heart over the "i." (clears throat) Why are you dressed like that?
I wanted to make you feel at home.
Okay, like my grandpa's home.
Right, Kimmy. Um... I think I liked the old you better.
Oh, well, I'm still old me but the new me just looks fantastic in this outfit. Right, Bootsy? Yes! Bye. (leaves with her magazine and stuffed dog)
You broke Anya. (he gives the thermos to Stella then he leaves)
Poor Kev. Losing Anya must really hurt.
I feel terrible. Even this ice cream is lousy.
That's because it's the leftover lutefisk I put in the freezer. (Joe stops eating to put the spoon back into the bowl and pulls out a lutefisk from the bowl then drop the lutefisk) (car zooms)
Kev, Stella feels really bad. She was just trying to help Anya become a good girlfriend. The whole fake-dog-diva thing is Anya's deal.
Guys, relax, trust me. I am so happy I found out who the true Anya sooner rather than later. Can you see me with Kimmy with the heart over the "i"?
Stella
Hey, guys, look who's staying with me for the week. (Samantha waves at Kevin, Joe and Nick) This is Samantha Saint Jean, the president of your French fan club.
(French accent) Bonjour, Samantha. I love your fries.
Stella
Samantha is here for the international mime festival.
No way! I love to mime! Especially over here in my invisible box. (miming in the unseen box then Samantha opens the door and enter the box then she closes it and miming with Kevin)
I am not staying here for this. (takes his jacket)
Stella
Yeah, let's go get some very visible food. (leaves with Nick)
Really? So we’re just gonna leave ‘em in there? Guys! (walks after Stella and Nick)
Stella
(groans) Kevin, it's been 10 minutes. Will you please just go?
Just so you know, no matter how long you stare at those letters, they're not gonna change.
Then how did my "q" just become an "o"?
Stella
Because I gave that to you.
(walks downstairs and asks Joe) What are you guys playing?
"Word Hole" It's that Belgian board game that we did the commercial for. (Nick takes the top of the box then he remembers the commercial that he, Joe and Kevin did) (announcer speaks German) (Kevin, Nick and Joe are speaking German) Word hole!
Too late, 'cause I have a seven letter word and I win!
Stella
Plobnrg? That's not a word.
Sure it is. Hi, I'm Kevin
"Plobnrg" means "awesome". "Like, hi, I'm Kevin. I just won the board game. I'm so plobnrg".
Guys, the band just got an exciting offer. It's totally plobnrg. How would you boys like to be the judges at the miss most amazing teen
That'd be so cool. (Stella gives a look to Kevin, Joe and Nick)
Actually, we find those contests to be just glorified beauty pageants, right gentlemen?
And superficial and demeaning.
And it sends a bad message to those hotties-- young women.
Yeah, and I guess I'd agree with all that junk you guys just said.
Stella
Guys, spare me. Beauty contests are the only outlet for those poor pathetic pageant girls whose sole talent is walking in a straight line
All right, well, I mean, in that case...
Let's do it for the hotties.
(clears throat) Good... to go.
Jonas · 237 quotes
