That's me. (bagpipes playing) (beeps) Look, one of the contestants just sent me a picture of herself playing flute for senior citizens while
KevinWow.
What a generous, caring, attractive-- (Nick takes Joe's cellphone to break it in half) What are you doing? (cracks)
Kevin
Oh!
You could've just deleted the photo. (Nick gives Joe's cellphone back to him)
So how's the miss most pathetic teen competition?
Kevin
It's the most amazing teen competition. Duh.
It's cool. These girls actually have a lot more going for them than you think.
Oh, how sweet... and naive. They don't.
You just don't understand 'cause you're not the pagent type.
What do you mean I'm not the pagent type?
He just means that these girls are beautiful...
Kevin
And graceful...
And really talented. Not that you're not all those things.
Those girls are noting but a bunch of bubble-headed gorgeous robots. If I wanted to, I could win that pageant with half my brains tied behind my back.
Wait a minute-- half your brains hanging out battling a bunch of beautiful robots? Now that is a competition I would pay to see.
I don't need a pageant to tell me that I'm just as pretty and talented as any of those girls, not to mention feminine, demure and very very delicate. Make a hole!
Kevin
Hmm.
Kevin
I'm practicing judging.
Kevin
Hmm.
Gentlemen, the next miss most amazing teen... (mimics cheering) Stella Malone. (softly) Thank you. Thank you so much.
I have officially entered the competition.
How did you even get in? The deadline for enteries was weeks ago.
For some reason, Maggie Belle decided to allow one extra girl into the competition this year. (Maggie's razor buzzing) I'm gonna beat these bubble-headed beauty bots at their own game. (laughs) Not that I care.
Way to go. That's a good attitude.
You've got to be in it to win it.
Kevin
You should really go for it.
TATV announcer
This Saturday it's the miss most amazing teen competition with special judges JONAS! Don't miss five time champion Carrie Sue North as she takes on all corners.
CCarrie
For me, it's not about the competition. It's about enjoying the company of other girls who are almost as amazing as me. See you Saturday night.
TATV announcer
Watch her do that Saturday night on stilts.
I don't think Stella knows what she's gotten herself into.
This is not gonna end well.
Kevin
Whoever told her to go for this a real doorknob. And yes, I know it was me.
Everybody is watching the video. I'm going to move to a town where there's no internet. (takes her sunglasses off) I'm going to be going to school on a donkey.
All right, before you go donkey shopping, why don't you check out what everyone's really watching?
It's not what you think, okay? Watch.
(rock music playing) I personally believe that, uh today's most pressing problem is, uh, U.S Americans unable--
You guys actually found a way to make my flub look cool.
Kevin
There's already over 8 million hits on the video, plus people don't even care what happened at the pageant.
I don't know how thank you guys.
Yeah. We just stayed all night writing a song, recording it, assembling a camera crew and editing all the footage together. But it was really nothing.
Oh... You guys are the best. Thank you. (hugging Nick, Joe and Kevin) (walks towards a cart) I mean, you know how much I hate looking silly. (shrieks) (camera phones clicking)
I'll call the camera crew.
Kevin
I wish there was a falling-- in-the-trashcan-competition. She would be so good at that. Right, guys? (asks Joe and Nick but they left him alone then )
This is Macy Misa and you're watching Macy Misa's video podcast from the JONAS loft. I'm Macy Misa. I am so excited to bring you behind the scenes as JONAS prepare to launch their world tour-- the bigger-and-better-than-the-last-tour tour! You'll get to watch the tough decisions that the band has to make.
I think I'm going with the all cotton socks.
We'll get up close and personal with Nick.
We'll get a sneak peek at the band's latest new super cool look...
and Kevin just being... Kevin. (dramatic music playing)
Kevin
I love you. (hugs his guitar)
Of course you'll get to see lots of this. (rock music playing)
I'm Macy Misa and if you'd like to see more theen tell your parents that you're doing homework, lock the door and crank up the volume. Did I mention I'm Macy Misa? Because I am. JONAS has given me complete access to their creative process because I'll be like a fly on the wall. I'll observe and report but I'll never interfere. Never.
Guys, I think I've got the lineup. We open the show with "Time is on Our Side."
What, are you cracked? You have to open up with "Work It Out." Oh, Time is on our side." Love it. Open with it. Stop looking at me.
Nick, she has a good point. (Nick agrees with Macy and Joe then Nick rips the paper)
So, Kevin, what's the hardest part about going on tour?
Kevin
Deciding who to take with me-- Olivia, Juliette, Lulu.
Whoa, that's an awful lot of girlfriends.
Kevin
Not girlfriends. I'm talking about my guitars. I have over 50 and I can only bring three. I have a very special relationship with each one.(dramatic music playing) How am I supposed to look Chloe in the sound hole and tell her, "you're not coming"?
Stella Malone, stylist extraordinaire, with the pretty hair how do you feel about not going on tour with the band this time?
Can we stop talking about the tour? They're going, we know that. It's not a big deal. (sobbing) I'm gonna miss them so much. I mean, I can't believe I'm not going with them. Thanks for noticing my hair.
Kevin
Then come with us. We need you, Stella.
I mean, I wish I could. But my internship with Jacques Le Faget. That's like a once-in-a-lifetime thing. I'm gonna learn so much. I'm really excited.
That handsome old man is dad of JONAS.
Hey, Stella. (sees that Kevin, Nick and Joe are studying) Oh, that's what I love to see. My boys are cracking the books. All right. Now don't forget, if you pass these exams tomorrow, then you will have to stay here and repeat the class.
Kevin
We know and that means no tour.
Which means no amazing split.
Which saves us a trip to the emergency room in some foreign country.
"Love sick" is the perfect opener.
Kevin
Sure, girls go crazy. They cry, they scream. They try and rip off our clothes. Especially you, Joe. (Stella walks by while carrying a sewing kit then she sits)
You know, I don't think you guys should do that song. I mean, the last thing rockstars need is a mob of excited screaming girls just rushing to the stage. You know that's dangerous. Especially you, Joe. Fine, whatever. Do the song.
Kevin
Dad, did they spell my name wrong on the tour jackets again?
You do look more like a Karen than a Kevin.
All right, look, I just got a call from the school. And it seems one of you boys failed your exam.
Kevin
Sorry, guys.
All right, you guys passed. Nick, you failed your geometry exam. You can't move to the next grade till you pass geometry. So you're just gonna have to take the class again. Look, I'm sure you're pass it next time, all right?
Well, that's... I'm afraid we're gonna have to cancel the tour.
I can't believe I failed the test.
JKJoe and Kevin
I can't believe I passed. (Joe wants to give Kevin a high five but Kevin doesn't want it)
Kevin
No.
We have to cancel the world tour and it's all my fault
Kevin
Nick, it's okay. Who needs a world tour anyways? You know, London's nice, but it's not sunny. The desert's hot, but there's no rain.
Kevin, those are my lyrics. You trying to comfort me or set up your own music video?
Kevin
I'm trying to comfort you by setting up my own music video. (snaps fingers) Hope you enjoy it. (ballad playing)
Dad said he was gonna call the school. I'll get an update.
Okay, tour wardrobe is all put away. Everything is back to normal. (walks between Kevin and Joe and touches Joe's knee) Snow angels?
Kevin
Carpet angels.
I'm hungry. I say pizza, who's in?
I'll call Maria. Hey, Stell, um... you don't really seem that bummed that the tour just got canceled.
Oh, well... Oh, I mean, I can't say I'm not not bummed that I'll get to see you every day over the summer.
I can say that I'm not unhappy that you're not not bummed.
Well, that makes me kind of happy. I mean, you can understand that, right?
I mean, that depends. What are we talking about?
You're right, yeah. Let's go get that.
(runs to tell his brothers) Guys, guys, dad just got off the phone with the school. Nick gets to take a makeup test, which means if he gets a certain score, which is-- what is it again?
Kevin
That means the tour's back on. Five-second dance party.
Kevin
What? I had two seconds left.
There's no way I can get 100.
Kevin
Sure it is. It's easy. Just get them all right.
I took on way too many things-- the test. the tour preparations. Thought I could handle it, but... now I have no time to learn what I need to know.
Kevin
I could tutor you.
Kevin, you got a "D" in geometry.
Kevin
Yes, and he got an "F." So if we combine our two scores, we get a... "E." We get an "E."
And I'm the one that failed the test.
Kevin
What are you doing?
(writes on couple papers) I just came up with awesome way for Nick to ace that geometry. Check it out.
Kevin
Do you really think this will work? It is like the oldest trick in the book.
Mmm, let's test it out, shall we? (opens the book) No, see, the oldest trick in the book is... what's that on your shirt?
Kevin
Right, you got me. (fells for the trick)
What I came up for Nick is the second-oldest trick in the book. It's right after... the oldest trick in the book is what's that on your shirt?
Kevin
What? Oh! You got me again. (fells for it a second time) Oh, Joe, your shoe's untied. Watch out.
Kevin, do you really think I'm gonna fall for the third-oldest trick in the book? (thuds)
Kevin
Told ya.
Wow. For someone who ruined our world tour you think he'd have more trouble sleeping.
Kevin
I think I know what'll wake him up. (Kevin touches Nick's keyboard)
Don't touch my keyboard. (wakes up after Kevin touched the keyboard)
Kevin
All right, good. You're awake.
Me and Kevin figured out a way for you to learn this geometry stuff a lot easier. All right, here we go. (Kevin is strumming his guitar)
Kevin
Yeah.
Guys, I appreciate what you're trying to do, but that's just one law of geometry. There are dozens of those for me to know.
Kevin
This is gonna be better than a Christmas album. (rock music playing)
It's the next day and Nick has taken his retest. Let's check in as they anxiously await the result. (Nick growls when Macy puts the camera close to his face) On second thought, I think it's best to give them their space. (backs away from Kevin, Joe and Nick)
(runs upstairs) Nick, it's your geometry teacher.
(walks to Tom and takes the phone to talk to his teacher on it) Yeah? No. Yeah. No. Yeah. Okay, bye. (hangs up the phone)
Kevin
Yes!
No, he needs a perfect score.
But my teacher said I could make up the last point if I calculate the volume of nacho cheese spread consumed by each screaming fan per cubic foot of arena space.
Kevin
What does that even mean?
That means the tour is back on. You did it.
Whoo-hoo! Oh, I'm so relieved. This means I won't have to spend the summer picking through garage sales with your mother. I mean, how many old fire helmets can one woman have? I get it, we live in a firehouse.
Whoo, what drama. The bigger-and-better-than-the-last-tour tour, was on again, off again, and now it's back on again thanks to Nick acing his test. Yay, Nick!
Kevin
This is been an incredible journey and a very difficult decision. But as you know, I can only take three of you on tour with me. So, Olivia... Lulu... and Grace, you will be coming on tour with me. And to the others, I want you to stay in tune until I come home. (sighs) I will miss you. (he walks away)
Come on, Joe. I want to see what you look like. (Joe walks out of the bathroom) You look-- you look great.
I'm gonna miss you, Stell. (hugs her goodbye)
Aw, don't start. I'm gonna cry. And I can't be responsible for how cute I might look.
You sure, you okay with this?
Yeah, I mean, I just have to get used to the fact that you're a rock star with girl fans. Just don't forget about the girl back home that sews your pants.
Of course I won't. What's her name again? (Stella slaps Joe friendly when he forgots her name then Joe smiles)
You remember Joe's flip and split? Well, he finally went for it and I got it. But there's a little glitch. You'll see it.
Okay, for the first time ever... tried by a lead singer. Rock and roll! (doing a flip and split but failed)
Kevin
Are you okay, Macy?
I'm fine. I'm fine. Just something coming out of my nose, and I think it's my tooth.
Kevin
Gentlemen, let me present to you le crib de la Jonas. Game room.
BMBig Man
Occupied. (toilet flushes)
Sorry, big man. This summer in L.A. is gonna be epic.
Kevin
Play all day, party all night.
Let's get busy. Maybe we'll get busy tomorrow. (Kevin is snoring on a floatie then Joe and Nick flipped it over) (Kevin yelps)
Ha ha. (he and Nick high five each other at the swimming pool)
It's so cool that mom and dad let us come here for the whole summer.
Kevin
Well, yeah, with an eldest brother this trustworthy, they can actually relax.
So in this scenario you're kind of like our L.A. dad.
Kevin
And mom.
Kevin
You have two hands. Make yourself a sandwich.
Guys, we're free now. We can eat whatever we want whenever we want.
Yeah, if we had any food.
We can just ask Macy and Stella to stop somewhere on the way home from the airport.
Nice, Joe-- putting your girlfriend to work before she even gets here.
She's not my girlfriend yet. I haven't even seen her since the tour started.
Kevin
She does know that you want to be her boyfriend, right?
Joe, what exactly did you say to her?
I said, "hey, we're gonna be in L.A. The whole summer." And she was like, "oh, cool, I can totally come." And I was like, "huh?" And she was like, "yeah." And I was like, "cool."
Kevin
That's even vague in Joe language.
Joe, if you want to be with Stella, you have to tell her.
Kevin
With words.
Guys, trust me. I've got this covered. When I see her tonight I'm gonna say it loud and clear. Stella Malone, will you be my girlfriend?
Kevin
Yes!
Kevin
No, I found the salt.
Mom's not gonna get that, is she?
Kevin
Rights of freedom, my man.
Nick, neihgbros. What's up, buddy? Whoo! JONAS in the house!
BMBig Man
No strangers in the house!
I'm not a stranger. I live next door. You see, the haters call me Dennis Zimmer, but the players call me D.Z.
Kevin
He brought muffins.
BMBig Man
Let me run them through the lab.
So when's the party, guys?
He's messing with me, right? Let me break it down to you, okay, guys? In L.A., if you don't throw a party, you don't get invited to the parties, okay? Then the paparazzi forget you. Then the media forget you. Then the fans forget you.
How do you know so much about this?
I watch a lot of "So, Where are they now?" shows.
Actually, I think this sneezy guy might have a point.
Look, if that's the way this town works, then I say bring it. We're known for our parties, am I right?
Kevin
I thought we were known for smelling super good, or is that just me? (Nick and Kevin smell themselves).
Hey, thanks for the tip. We're gonna announce ourselves with authority. I'll take care of the guest list.
Kevin
I'll take care of the music.
I'll take care of my looks.
Nice, Joe. Way to be a team player.
Dude, I gotta look good for Stella.
Jonas · 237 quotes
