Okay, I'm in Hollywood. I can do this. (dials) Hey babe, party, JONAS. Be there. It's Nick. Yeah, from JONAS. (dial tone) Babe? She's not coming.
Why don't you let me be the entertainment? I got mad skills. Check this out. (beat boxing) D.Z. On the beats, getting honey on the streets.
KevinWhoa
Oh, you like that? Whoo! Kevin, neighbro, k-dog.
This is the best organic clothing store in L.A. Everything here biodegrades before it goes out of style.
I knew that so much. So are you working on anything new this summer?
Well, this is totes hush-hush, but you know the "forever April" books?
Yeah, I love anything with ghosts.
Well, you're looking at one. I'm playing April in the movie.
That's awesome. I'd love to be in one of those.
No, it's just I've always wanted to.
Joe, don't want-- Do. Oh, here. Try this on for your party tonight.
How did you know about that?
Everybody knows. And yes, I'm coming. Go.
Okay. (melodic ringtone playing)
Good afternoon, Stella. You smell nice. Is that a new perfume? No. Stella, what's up? Yeah, I rode a motorcycle here. Formal, casual. Formal, casual. Stella, meet your boyfriend. You're so lame. How do I look?
You didn't even look at me.
Joe, I've been looking at you my entire life.
Listen, Stella likes you for you, not for what you wear. Please don't be so shallow. (phone rings) Yeah. That's good. No, A-list-- that's what we're going for. Thank you. Unbelievable. Could you please take these to the pool? I'm getting good at this. (car horn honks) Hey.
Kevin
Gentlemen, say hello to our new best friend.
Oh, I was hoping, but I never expected-- you're talking about the car. Cool.
Kevin
Not just any car. This baby is a fully modified, Retrofitted biodiesel cruising machine. And it runs on cooking oil.
Kevin, you were in charge of music. (engine revs)
Kevin
Sounds like a sweet symphony to me. (Joe sniffs the car)
Smells like a side of french fries.
I've been busting my butt all day trying to get this party together, and your contribution is buying yourself a car?
Kevin
It's not just for me. It's for all of us. And it even can fit Stella and Macy.
Yeah, if they ever get here.
Kevin
No.
Hey, fans. It's Macy here again. We are at the crib de la JONAS, which is really bad spanish, but it's still a pretty cool place. Let's check in with the guys and see what they have planned this summer. So Kevin, what's up?
Kevin
Oh, hey. Just feeding my baby. Found out bacon grease made her backfire. But what she really loves is Chinese. So big shout to all my friends over at hunan lotus. Thanks for sending over all that peanut oil. Oh, and keep frying up those greasy egg rolls.
This book's got it all-- It's got adventure, romance. The cover's pretty cool. And the movie's starring Vanessa Page, although she told me to keep that totes hush-hush.
You realize this is going on the web?
Say hello to our new summer roommate.
Hi. I spoke to Stella's mom and we decided the best way to chaperone these girls was up close and personal.
Just doing a video blog about what the band is up to this summer.
Just working on a california-inspired song.
Oh, can you give the fans a preview?
(plays one note) We've only been here one day.
Yo, what's up, people? D.Z. Here. And this summer I plan to spend 24/7 with JONAS. I mean, if the days were longer, We'd probably spend 25/8, right?
BMBig Man
You got my muffins?
Okay, well, that was the behind-the-scenes look. Macy Misa is saying Welcome to a summer like no other.
Kevin
What are you doing? (Joe is screaming)
Saving Joe. What are you doing?
Nick, Vanessa said there might be a part for me in her movie. We're working out my acting chops.
Okay, that explains nothing. And you?
Kevin
You know I've always wanted to be a director.
Kevin
At least for the last couple of weeks.
Well, I've always wanted to go to sleep, so please keep it down, okay? (Joe screams) Joseph!
Sorry, I bit my tongue. All right, let's do it again.
Kevin
Okay, down. And... (Joe screams)
Kevin
Okay, so this is an expression drill. The first one is gonna be happy. Action! And sad. Scared. Okay, enamored.
Kevin
You know, like when you like somebody, you have feelings for them. Action!
Dude, I'm not giving you my love face.
Kevin
It's not for me. You know, just picture me as a girl. You know, and you're trying to impress me. Action!
All I can think about is Stella.
Kevin
Still? (doorbell rings)
Kevin
Hurry.
Well, I talked to my director about who should play my love interest in "Forever April," and, dramatic pause, she wants a Joe from JONAS type.
That's amazing. I'm gonna be in a movie.
Totally. The audition is today.
Whoa whoa, wait. There's an audition?
Oh, it's just a formality.
But they're looking for me. How am I supposed to play myself?
Joe, don't worry. The part is as good as yours. We're gonna play boyfriend and dead girlfriend.
The director said she wants a Joe from JONAS type. How do I look more Joe-ish?
Okay, how about something from your last music video? So a leather jacket... you like that?
-...And glasses - How about a bandanna?
Kevin
Hi, they just emailed me the scenes for your audition later.
Cool. Just put it over there.
Kevin
I don't know, man. I was looking them over, and they're pretty emotional. I think we should go over it.
Kevin, what do you really know about directing?
Kevin
Well, as much as you really know about acting.
The whole thing's practically a done deal.
Kevin
Okay, man. Whatever.
You know, Kevin's right. I mean, you've never done this before. You should prepare.
It's all about my look. Vanessa said the whole audition's a formality.
Vanessa? Well, she would know.
You know there's nothing going on between us, right?
Yeah yeah, I know. And even if there was, I'd be fine with it. We agreed to be friends, so...
I know. Do you want that one?
Yeah. Aunt Lisa, hey. Mind if I help you with those?
Oh, I see what you're doing. You're trying to get on my good side. It's not happening, no. I don't trust rock stars.
Kevin
You got this, man.
I know I got it. No problem.
Kevin
We're gonna be late. Nick, where are you? - Nick!
Kevin
No. Macy! There he is. Nick, have you seen Macy?
Yeah, I want her to film me landing my first movie role.
Where's the camera? I'll do it.
Kevin
Yeah, you're not so good with the pictures. You like to cut off the head.
That is an artistic choice.
Maybe she went shopping or quit or went to get her hair done. Who knows what girls do these days, right?
Whoa, back up. Macy went shopping without me?
Wait, what was that middle one again?
She quit, okay? She quit.
I don't know. We were talking about the Japanese stock market And she just went nuts.
Kevin
Nick, you must have done something to hurt her. You have to fix this.
Guys, we gotta get to my audition. Nick, whatever you gotta do to change her mind, do it.
Okay, buddy, you can do this. You're one of a kind. (Joe enters the room and sees a roomful of him then he leaves the room and calls Kevin) (phone rings)
Kevin
It's Joe. Hey, dude. Tell me you nailed it.
There's a roomful of mes in there and I'm freaking out right now.
Kevin
It's okay. Just calm down. Breathe. Remember everything I told you.
Kevin, we're way past happy face/sad face. How am I supposed to get in front of a famous director and do a love scene with real emotions?
Kevin
Hang in there, man. I've got an idea.
This one looks all wrong.
Oh, Mona, this actually is Joe from JONAS.
Well, okay. Mona Klein, - A huge fan.
All right, let's rock this. And action!
Don't you get it, Dade? I'm a ghost. Ghosts can't love. They covet. They desire. But they can't love.
I could choose to believe that... But if we never try... They we'll never know what could have been.
Cut. Is he in love or is he ordering a cheeseburger?
Just give him another chance. He's a little nervous. That was really terrible.
Joe, look at me. You get to be in love with me. It shouldn't be hard.
You're lucky lunch hasn't arrived yet. All right, one more shot, rock star. What's that Taylor Lautner guy up to? And action!
Don't you get it, Dade? I'm a ghost. Ghosts can't love. They covet. They desire. But they can't love.
I could choose to believe that... But if we never try, then we'll never know what could have been.
Kevin
Are you kidding me? - Dude, congratulations.
Dude, you might just turn out to be a good director.
Kevin
Well, I do know how to motivate my actors.
Kevin
I I'm gonna go.
When I saw you in the window, I just felt so...
Hey, sometimes you just need to see a friendly face.
Congratulations, dade! You were wonderful. I could totally feel our energies colliding.
I'm Stella Malone. I love you on "Malibu High." I never miss an episode.
That means so much. Anyway, we're gonna be working together a lot. It's going to be so intense. (Joe mouths)
Hey, guys. Sorry I'm late. - Big announcement?
Ah. Let me put this in the form Of a riddle. Now what has two paddles, A net and the hottest celebrities in town?
Are you talking about Justin Timberlake's ping-pong tournament?
Correct. Now this is the biggest charity event Of the summer, okay? J.T.'s all about giving back.
Yeah, we know all about it, but all the spots are booked.
I guess it just depends on who you know. You see, my cousin is the assistant to the guy Who's the assistant to the guy who picks the
No, it's not. But more to the point, That means that only one of us gets to play.
Kevin
Yeah.
Correctamente. F.Y.I., I'm adding "amente" to everything I say. So which one of you three, is the bestamente?
Me, I'd probably crush it, but I've gotta study my script For the movie that I'm starring in, "Forever April"
So Joe Hollywood is out. How about you guys, huh? Why don't you play for it? Kevin versus Nick?
I'm in. A little brotherly competition.
Kevin
I'm in.
Oh. So... (clears throat) Excitedamente. All right. Good luck on that. All righty.
I need your love. You need my love.
Kevin
- Oh, hey, Nick. Meet China's gold medalist in table tennis world cup.
Kevin
And you, sir, bought a ball machine.
Just say it. You're afraid to lose to your little brother.
Kevin
"Lose"? Oh, no. I just want to make sure you were properly schooled - When I beat you.
Kevin
That's cute and all, but can you leave now? 'Cause she's about to teach me a move she likes to call the Cobra Chop. Chop.
Kevin
Cobra chop!
Kevin
- What's all this?
Well, I know some words have been exchanged, some not so pleasant, so I decided to do something nice for you.
Kevin
Really? This is for me?
Well, I know how much you like relaxing.
Kevin
I do like to take a load off.
All right. Well, try it out. Take this coconut smoothie, lay down on this thing - And just relax.
Kevin
- Don't mind if I do. (sits on the hammock)
Oh, I almost forgot-- ladies.
Kevin
Oh.
Kevin
Ah. Like a cool island breeze. It's very relaxing. Wait a second! - I know what you're trying to do here.
Kevin
You're trying to recreate that sweet sweet nap I took in Maui.
Ah. The nap of all naps. The nap of your dreams. Now why would I do that?
Kevin
To make me groggy for the match. You're trying to make me lose my competitive edge.
Kevin
It would be nice. I mean-- No! Not at all! Absolutely not. - Not gonna work.
- All right, fine. But I know how cranky you get without your nap.
Kevin
You're going down a bad road here, brother. You'll be sorry you messed with the master. No one said stop.
Ah. Here you go, my buddy Ben.
Thanks. So is Stella home?
I want to talk about Ben. What gets Ben up every morning?
So what I'm hearing is you're unemployed.
- No, I work part time too.
I invented a cell-phone app. It's kind of popular.
Well, I'm pretty cell-phone-app savvy myself. So what's it called?
It's called the side burner. - It lets you take any photo
and-- - put sideburns on it? Dude, I love that app. You invented that?
Yeah, it's no big deal It pays the rent, got my parents a new house. It's all good. So what do you do?
- Where are they? (ball clacking)
Kevin
- Where are what? - Can you be more specific?
- Specifically my lucky sneakers.
Kevin
The white ones with the blue stripes? I haven't seen 'em.
Kevin
Oh, now you're resorting to name-calling.
- I know what you're trying to do.
Kevin
And that would be what?
You think I'm so superstitious - I need those shoes to win.
Kevin
- Those are your words, not mine.
- You're not getting inside my head.
Kevin
- I think I already am.
You know what? I could beat you without shoes. I could beat you without socks. I could beat you without feet! Kevin!
Kevin
Ah.
You know what? I ask the questions around here. So where are you taking Stella tonight? (Macy is spying)
- Um, to get frozen yogurt.
- What do you have against ice cream?
So as determined by the pre-game flip of a coin, The Kevinator will serve first. By the way, I'm no longer saying "amente." I'm now saying "inator."
Kevin
- Cobra chop.
The cobra chop is cheating?
Kevin
Look, Nick. If you can't handle my level of play, you should quit now, - Just like you did third-grade Spanish.
I couldn't roll my Rs because my tongue wasn't fully formed yet.
Kevin
- Always an excuse with this guy.
You know what? - Just serve the ball, Kevin Percy.
Kevin
- Don't you use my middle name.
- Oh, I think I just did, Percy. (Dennis gives Kevin the ball)
Kevin
- Ball. - Cobra chop!
- Whoo! Nice. Intensamente.
Kevin
Take that, thumbsucker.
You ate baby food until you were 10.
Kevin
It was just the applesauce.
Oh! Point to the Nickinator! Whew. Guys, this is getting personal.
How dare you interrogate my date!
What am I supposed to do, Seeing as you decided to keep the whole thing from me?
I tried to tell you, but you were a little too busy... Playing house with Vanessa and Shakira.
It's Chakra, and he's a boy. (Chakra is barking) The point is you had a date tonight - And you didn't tell me.
- Well, you didn't tell me about the dogsitting.
I didn't tell you about my dentist appointment either.
Vanessa is trusting you with something that she loves. That's a big step in a relationship.
We're not in a relationship.
Well, she thinks that you are.
Yet you're the one who has a date tonight.
It's just yogurt! (barking continues)
Chakra! Chakra! No, Chakra! Come back! Chakra!
So it all comes down to this: The winner of the next point will take the crown, And moi, to meet Justin Timberlake. (Nick takes the ball out of the hat) (dramatic music playing) (Chakra barks and swallows the ball) (Dennis gasps)
Kevin
That was our last ball. - When did we get a dog?
Chakra! - Heel! - Stay! Stay! - Chakra, come back! - Chakra, come on! Don't run! (Dennis runs after Chakra)
Kevin
Our dog's name is Chakra?
- It's not our dog. I'm watching him for Vanessa. He got scared when Stella and I were arguing.
- She has a date tonight - And she didn't tell me.
- Didn't you guys decide to be friends? Doesn't that mean you're free to date whoever you want?
Yeah, but I just pictured myself dating and Stella just... not.
You do realize how it sounds, right?
When I just said it, I realized what a jerk I sounded like.
Kevin
Yeah, well, you shouldn't tell us. You should tell her.
(panting) Okay. Come on, boy.
You're right. Thanks. (leaves)
Yo, bros. Ah. It's game point. (gives the ball that Chakra swallowed to Kevin)
Kevin
Yeah, that's gonna be a problem.
Maybe it's for the best. This game was getting pretty ugly.
Kevin
Yeah, there's no such thing as a friendly game of ping-pong. (fistbumps Nick)
Hey, guys, hold on. We're real close-- one more point.
Guys, wait. I don't want to have to come down on you. All right, look. I promised my guy a JONAS and I don't front. Okay? So you guys have
Kevin
- Or what?
Or our friendship is in serious trouble.
Our friendship will be fine. Trust me.
Jonas · 237 quotes
