You had to take a look on Fiona's face when she saw me. When I told her that I was going to go out as the real "Joe" in public...
The girl ran for the hills.
KevinWe're pretty sure she lives there.
Yay. (excitely claps her hands)
I can promise you that's the last time we're gonna be seeing Fiona Skye.
Hi, pookins! (arrives at school with Paolo)
KJKevin, Joe, Stella and Nick
Oh no.
Paolo posted the pictures he took at your house and the fan sites are on fire!
"Fiona brings out the real Joe." (she hands her phone to Joe and he looks at the picture) (pop ringtone rings) (Joe gives her phone back to her) (clears throat) (Paolo picks up the phone then he puts it on Fiona's ear and she talks on it) Hello. Fiona. No no no! I specifically said my romance with Joe should be kept private. And you can print that! (Paolo gives the phone back to her and they walk away)
Kevin
Wow. You should be in "Scream Until You Die Screaming." (Joe checks his ear) That would've been good. (Stella looks at him)
It's hopeless. No matter what I say or do, all the magazines are talking about is my "romance" with Fiona.
Not true. They also mention that you're a world-class nerd.
Thanks, Nick. That'll do.
(on the stairs) Then we've gotta get them talking something else. Because the best way to end one rumor...
(walks down the stairs and goes to the table then sits wth Stella, Nick, Kevin and Joe) You don't get to be head of the #1 JONAS fan club, without knowing how to deal with gossip.
Where did we go wrong, professor?
To get Fiona Skye to leave you alone, you tried to make yourself less attractive.
There is absolutely no way you could make yourself less attractive.
What you need to do is make the sites and mags believe that you've found someone more attractive than Fiona. "Joe Dumps Fiona For Mystery Girl."
Yeah, well, you're going to need pictures.
That means we'll need a mystery girl.
Kevin
We can put Nick in a wig and a dress.
Kevin
Um, you're probably right. That's more publicity than we're looking for. Um, there's gotta be somebody. (he, Joe, Nick, Macy and Stella are thinking then he, Joe, Nick and Macy have found the mystery girl)
What's this? (Nick hands him and Kevin the lyrics of the song then Kevin looks at it)
It's the lyrics for the new song we're recording on Saturday. Learn it, (he tosses the lyrics but Joe tries to catch them and Kevin catches them) live it, love it, but mostly learn it.
Recording on a Saturday? When was the last time we did anything normal on a weekend?
Kevin
Yeah, I just want to go hang out at the mall.
Exactly. Wait, I don't wanna hang out at the mall.
Abby, save some for the fish. (Abby hands him the bag of chips and he reads it) "Captain Salty's Sea Salt'N'Vinegar Thick-Cut Salt Chips. Now With Extra Sea Salt." Oh, Got it.
finished drinking) Ah. Mmm. It's all yours!
I think my hair is stuck.
Let me just help you out. (helping Abby free her hair)
(screams softly) Ow. (her hair is free from the fire alarm) (fire alarm goes off)
Oops. False alarm! Everybody just stay calm!
Kevin
(walks down the steps while carrying a lunch lady to the hallway after realizing there's a fire drill happening) Fire! Fire! Go!
Kevin
Save yourselves! (shouting) (he walks down to the hallway while still carrying the lunch lady but Joe and Abby see Kevin walking to the exit while holding the lunch lady) (Joe and Abby try to stop the fire alarm but they are unable to stop it from ringing)
(walks to Joe and Abby) Somebody care to explain what happened?
My hair got stuck-- (tells Mrs. Snart)
SMrs. Snart
I've heard enough! (gives Abby a detention slip)
Detention?! That is so not fair!
You can't give her detention. It was an accident. Besides, if anybody's fault, it's mine.
Oh, please, like I'm going to give a JONAS detention? My niece would kill me. Hey, Joe, can I get a quick photo? (Joe takes a photo with her)
Yeah, sure. (walks to Ms. Snart and she pulls him closer to her then she walks away) (Abby walks towards him and she is annoyed at him) Abby, I'm so sorry.
It must be nice to get away with everything just because you're famous.
We don't get away with everything. Ms. Snart's new here. Everyone else treats us like normal guys, regardless of our hotness, coolness and modesty. (chuckles)
(sighs) (rolls her eyes and starts to walk away from Joe)
(grunts softly) (continues to walk away)
Guys, I can't believe Abby's getting detention and I'm not. I don't want her or anybody at the school thinking we're getting special treatment for being famous.
I didn't know you had a thing for Abby.
I don't. I just feel really bad about what happened.
Yeah. And by "feel bad," you mean "have a thing for."
Kevin
Oh, nice. (gives Nick a five)
(faces Nick and Kevin) You know what I have to do? I have to get detention too. That'll prove to Abby that we don't get special treatment here.
All right, as long as you don't turn this into one of your big old productions.
Kevin, give me a blueprint of the school.
Kevin
Why would I have one of those?
How about a scale model of the school?
Kevin
You got it. (Kevin opens his locker to take out the scale model from it but Nick is seen shaking his head then Kevin points to the location of him, Joe and Nick are right now) This is our current position.
All right, I just gotta think of a way that will get me enough trouble to get me into dentention.
Kevin
I'm on it. (gives the scale model to Nick while he takes his cellphone out of his pocket) (keys beeping) (he dials the number
But won't get me kicked out of school.
Kevin
Oh. (looks at Joe and Nick) (beeps) (talks on his cellphone) Hi. I'd like to cancel that order I just emailed you about. Yeah, for the 20 goats and the wheelbarrow. It's not gonna work out this time. Nick gives the scale back to Kevin and he holds it) But I still need the ducks for Saturday.
(walks on grass) It’s just like whatever I try, I just can’t get detention.
Kevin
Just give me the word, man. I can have twenty goats here by lunch.
Hello, Vice-Principal Smetzer.
Don't try to charm me, mister. I'm not impressed by your rock and roll dimples. (points to a sign) Willful disobedience of school signage. (he gives Joe a detention slip) Detention! (he leaves)
Kevin
Oh, no.
Oh, yes. (he and Kevin high five each other)
Kevin
(tells Nick to how to hang the painting while Nick holds it) Okay, a little higher on the left. Lower on the left. Up a little bit on the left. A little down on the left. A little up on the left. Almost there. Almost there! No. Down on the left. Nick, is this my left or your left, you're looking at?
It's the same left! (Joe runs upstairs excitedly)
Yes! I got detention tomorrow! (tells Nick and Kevin) Now Abby will see I get punished like everybody else. Plus once she's in there, she'll be a captive audience. Ha! She'll have to listen to me.
Whoa whoa whoa. What do you mean tomorrow?
Kevin
You know, the day after today or the day before two days from now.
Also known as the same day, we have to record the vocals for the new record or we miss the deadline.
Oh, I forgot about that. (Kevin pats Joe on the back of the shoulder) Nick, I think a little up to the right.
Would somebody please give me something to hang this with? (sick of holding the painting then an arrow pins it and he notices that) Thanks. (Nick, Joe and Kevin sees the hole in the window that the arrow made)
How'd I do? (Macy looks at the hole and Stella asks her but Macy doesn't say a word) (Macy looks at Stella then she looks at the window again)
(gasps) (Nick and Kevin suddenly appear next to Joe) Where'd you guys come from?
A small town in New Jersey. (puts his guitar on a desk)
Kevin
(speaks on the microphone) What's up, troublemakers?
What are you guys doing here?
We have to record the new vocals.
Kevin
The record label needs it by the end of the day today.
If Mr. Smetzer hears me, I'm getting suspended.
That's a chance I'm willing to take. (puts his hand on Joe's shoulder)
Kevin
Me too. (he puts his hand on Joe's shoulder)
Oh, thanks a lot, guys. Fine, I'll do it, okay? Just gotta talk to Abby first. (he is about get up from his desk but Kevin and Nick sits Joe back down)
Your apologies take forever. We'll talk to her for you.
Wait. Guys-- (Nick and Kevin walk to Abby's desk) (Joe is putting his head down then he puts his head up)
(introducing himself and Kevin to Abby) Hi. Nick. Kevin. Look, Joe feels really bad about getting you in trouble. He wants to apologize.
Oh, so he sent over two spokesmodels? (looks at Joe) Wow, must be nice not to do any dirty work yourself.
Kevin
Oh, look, the chapter's about forgiveness. (he and Nick walk back to Joe)
I don't get it. Why do you wanna to go out with... her?
I don't wanna go out with her.
(opens the door and enters the classroom) Did I hear talking? (shuts the door) Mmm. Something's not right here. Mmm... (looks to the left then the right) Aha! (Joe is afraid that his brothers will be caught by Mr. Smetzer) (laughs) (walks to the back) Yes. (turns the poster but Joe and Abby are smiling) There we are.
(tells the students) Now before taking over for Mr. Smetzer, I was helping out at the varsity girls' swim team victory party. So I need someone to go pass out pizza and towels. Any volunteers?(Abby and the other students raise their hands) (Joe picks up his folder and opens it then he hides his face with it) Mm, eenie meenie miney Joe! (picks Joe then he closes his folder) Have fun!
You know what I think? I should probably stay here. (Abby turns around and looks at Joe) I mean, I walked on grass. I should think about what I've done.
Are you disobeying the direct order from a teacher?
Yes, I am. (stands up from his desk and Abby is proud of him) And I think you should give me more detention.
(turns around to the back of the classroom and talks to Joe) Wait. You really don't expect special treatment?
No. Abby, that's what I've been trying to tell you.
Cool. I'm impressed. (she smiles at Joe and he smiles then he sits back down)
Do I have another volunteer?
(raises her hand) I'll do it!
Have fun. And when the party's over, grab a gift and just go on home. (Abby stands up from her desk and walks to the back of the classroom)
See ya! (Kevin opens the door for Abby and she leaves)
Kevin
That girl is just no good. (closes the door) (Nick stands up)
I know Joe doesn't want any special treatment, but we kind of have a new song to finish recording. (Joe looks at Nick) Do you mind we do it in here?
Do I mind? (Stands up) This is a detention room, young man. I can't believe you even asked me that.
Kevin
Sorry.
The acoustics are way better in the hall! You rapscallion.
Kevin
(painting a picture) Now this is how we should spend on a Saturday. No recordings, no detention. Nick, can you move a little bit to the left? (asks Nick to go little to the left) Perfect. (continues painting)
(playing checkers by himself) Yes! (stands up and walks to the other side of the checkerboard and tells Nick to watch him) Hey, Nick, keep an eye on me. I think I'm cheating.
Kevin
Voila! My masterpiece-- She is finished! (Joe stands up and Nick closes the book then runs up to Kevin)
Whoa. Very realistic, Kevin.
Kevin
Merci.
So I sat and held that book all day for this? I'm not even in it.
Kevin
Yes, you are.
(points to the painting of his finger) That's my finger! (disappointed)
Kevin
You recognized it! I'm better than I thought. (rock music playing) (Joe walks away from Kevin and Nick) (Kevin paints a little bit more)
Joe! (passes the ball to Joe)
Kevin! (passes the ball to Kevin) (grunts)
Kevin
(throws the ball to the celiing) Oh!(he, Joe and Nick look at the ceiling) Uh-oh! It is nice that we have high ceilings in this house. We should totally put a trampoline in the middle of our room.
That would be awesome! We could somersault into bed, or back flip into the bathroom.
Guys, do you really think that's a good idea? Think. Think hard.
Kevin
No. (he, Joe and Nick back away from each other and play Hacky Sack)
Kevin
Hack it over here.
Why, so you can kick it into oblivion again?
Kevin
I can't help it if my leg muscles are like crouching tigers. I had an off kick. It happens to the best of us.
And by "best" you mean "worst"?
Kevin
By "worst", you mean "best"? (he and Nick are staring at each other) I bet you I can hack the sack longer than you can.
You're on... Let's go... Right now.
Kevin
House rules...two feet...No arms.
Why are...we talking...so weird?
Kevin
Good point...let's stop...right now.
Are you ready now? (holds the ball) (Asian flute music playing)
Kevin
No. I have to prepare. I need to hone in on my razor-sharp reflexes.
Kevin
(gong chimes) (Joe is shocked) (Kevin catches the ball) One nano second off. I gotta work on that. (snorts) (leaves)
(runs to Kevin and Nick) Guys, guess what. Today's our anniversary.
Kevin
(he and Nick stand up) Aw. hug it out. (he and Nick are hugging Joe) Bring it in. Feels good. Aw, love it.
You guys have no idea what anniversary I'm talking about? Do you?
Kevin
Nope. (he and Nick stop hugging Joe)
Never claimed to. (he and Kevin sit back down)
Guys, it's the anniversary of when we first met Stella.
Kevin
Wow. Time flies. Feels like yesterday that wittle Stella waddled into our wives. Sowwy.
Any reason why you happen to know the exact date when we met Stella?
Kevin
Yeah, Joe. Thub-thub, thub-thub--
Guys, I remember all important dates that have to do with our friends and family.
Of course you do, yeah. When's my birthday?
Guys, it doesn't matter how I remembered. The important thing about remembering is that I remembered. (Stella enters)
Hey, Stella. Do you remember what today is?
Oh, yeah. It's be kind to chipmunks day.
Kevin
Good 'cause I got an extra acorn for everybody. (gives an acorn to Nick then Nick throws it away)
Oh no no no, wait-- unless these t-shirts answer your question. (shows the gray t-shirt) It's our "15-year friend-a-versary."
KNKevin and Nick
Happy friend-a-versary!
15 years ago today, I spilled chocolate milk all over my shirt and you were the only person that didn't laugh at me.
Well, I mean, how could I laugh? Someone had to blot out your corduroy jumper with seltzer.
Kevin
Well, think about it, if you guys didn't meet, you guys wouldn't have become friends, That why you wouldn't become our stylist which means we would probably be walking on the streets looking like this.
It was a good thing that I came along.
Yeah, I mean, we need you like the winter needs the spring.
Kevin
Or an ice cream cone needs sprinkles.
Like a pirate needs a hook for a hand, an eye-patch, and a parrot. Wow you need a lot of things to be a pirate.
Kevin
They're coming, I swear. Better late than never. (Joe and Nick left the classroom and they go to the table and Nick takes his lunch bag from Kevin then he sits upright) Finally, guys. (the three students walk away)
So you guys, I was thinking we should do something special for Stella for our "friend-a-versary" like throw her a party.
Kevin
We need to figure out what kind of party a girl would like. You know what we need for that?
A girl. Excuse me, miss! (asks a female student)
Kevin
No, Joe, not just any girl. We need Macy.
I wasn't following you around trying to listen to your conversation if that's what you're suggesting.
Macy, we need your help. We want to throw a party for Stella.
What kind of party would Stella really like?
Stella love surprises and I love surprises too. I love ice cream and-- and party games and balloon animals.
Kevin
Macy.
Oh right, Stella. Um... Stella loves karaoke.
That's right. We can throw her a surprise karaoke party. Can you come over later and help us plan it?
Hey, guys. (walk over to the table)
Shh, remember, big surprise.
Kevin
Oh no, I'm not good at this.
Not good at what? (asks Kevin)
Kevin
(stammers) C--crunking. (stands up) (Nick grabs the lunch bag) (hip-hop music plays) (moans)
Kevin, let's crunk it over there, please. (stands up and takes Kevin's bag and lunch off the table then tosses the bag and the lunch to Kevin but Kevin picks up his bag and lunch)
Kevin
Oh! oh! Okay. (Nick and Kevin leave Stella, Joe and Macy)
(sighs) Phew, he almost blew it.
Almost blew what? (sits down)
This trumpet. (shows the music instrument and holds it) (laughs)
Macy: Right! 'Cause you're not allowed to blow it in the hallways. (chuckles)
I'll just go and put it in my locker.
Macy: You know what? (points to the instrument) That looks heavy. I'll go help you. (leaves with Joe)
Kevin
Getting in touch with my inner Kevin. The Kevin that will prove that your hacky sack is wacky sack.
(laughs) Well, can your inner Kevin do this? (shows a demonstration of a few tricks)
Kevin
Your skills are great, but can you do this? (inhales)
Kevin
Not true. I beat you again... in here. (points to his mind) It was awesome. You're still crying... in here. (points to his mind again)
(enters the living room) Hey. Did I hear you guys are having a hacky sack competition?
Kevin
You are correct, father-son.
Kevin's adopted this whole kung-fu thing to try and psych me out.
Yeah, you can blame me for that. I let him watch too many kung-fu movies when he had the chicken pox. I think it altered him.
Kevin
(out of sync) If I do not beat you, my evil twin brother will, once he wakes up from his coma! (gong chimes)
Definitely the kung-fu movies. You know, that or the high fever. (leaves) (Nick shakes his head disappointed)
Kevin
(Drop paper cup so the juice spill) You know that was my last glass of cranberry juice? You could’ve just said, oh I don’t know,--"Drink It"?
What is going on between Macy and Joe? (Kevin and Nick are acting suspicious)
(turns around) And by "Joe", you mean?
You know who I'm talking about. Macy and Joe, they've been spending a ton of time together. And they're acting all secretive and weird.
And by "weird", you mean?
I mean weird! Like mysterious, and annoying. Kind of like two of you are acting right now.
NKNick and Kevin
Whatever do you mean, Stella Malone? (Nick continues to try to open his locker)
Look, if Macy and Joe want to be together, that's fine. (Nick still can't open his locker) I'm fine with that.(Nick steps away when Stella is about to remove Nick's locker door) I just don't like being only one that doesn't know about it. (Nick is shocked) Here's your door.(gives Nick the locker door) (Joe arrives and she walks to him) Joe! Joe. Joe--
Hey, wanna hang out Friday?
I thought we'd hang, chill, do some homework, you and me.
Um-- well... yeah, I'm free. Yeah, that sounds really great.
Cool. Later. (Stella leaves then Kevin and Nick walk to him)
(holding his locker door) Why couldn't you have showed up before she ripped my door off? (shows Joe the locker door)
Kevin
You owe me a cranberry juice! (he leaves) (Then Nick leaves while he shakes his head)
Jonas · 237 quotes
