Mr. Smetzer quotes from Jonas

Joe

(walks on grass) It’s just like whatever I try, I just can’t get detention.

Kevin

Just give me the word, man. I can have twenty goats here by lunch.

Joe

No, thank you.

Joe

Hello, Vice-Principal Smetzer.

Don't try to charm me, mister. I'm not impressed by your rock and roll dimples. (points to a sign) Willful disobedience of school signage. (he gives Joe a detention slip) Detention! (he leaves)

Kevin

Oh, no.

Joe

Oh, yes. (he and Kevin high five each other)

Joe

Hi. I got detention for you.

Yeah, I remember. That's why all my friends are at the mall and I'm not.

Joe

(tells Abby) I meant I got myself detention because I accidentally got you detention. I just wanted a chance to explain things. All right my brothers and I are regular guys with regular dreams. Hold on a second. (lifts his backpack up to take the lyric sheet under it the he turns around to the student behind him and puts the lyric sheet on the student's desk) Can you take it from the bridge? (asks the student to play the song and the same student plays the song on the violin) You see, we come from a small town in New Jersey. (door opens) We didn't grow up with much-- just love and fresh air. (door slams) (playing different music)

Welcome to detention. I see you're getting to know one another... (chuckles) Which is odd because (shouts) there's no talking in detention! Luckily, I do have a solution. (moves Joe and his desk to the back of the classroom then Mr. Smetzer takes an empty desk to the front where Joe's desk was)

Joe

No-- But-- (Abby is smiling)

No arguing. Also no texting. No note passing. And no morse code, Gary! (shows Gary is morse coding then he picks it up and hides it in his sweater vest)

I want complete and utter silence in this room. Am I understood? (Mr. Smetzer walks to the front and slides an empty desk to the front where Joe's desk was) I am going to be in my office. (tells the students)

Joe

Yes sir.

That was a trick question. I said SILENCE! (yells at Joe's ear)

(he walks to the front and slides an empty desk to the front where Joe's desk was) I am going to be in my office. (tells the students) But don't try any malarkey. One peep and you'll spend the next four weekends helping the school janitors scoop squirrels out of the pool filter. (opens the door and leaves) That's right. (appears behind the teacher's desk) I'm quick and I'm quiet so don't try any malarkey. (walks to the door and leaves then quietly appears behind the map) I'm like a detention ninja. (appears at the other side of the map) I could show up anywhere. (he leaves) (taps Joe from behind)

Joe

(gasps)

Oh, yeah. (swiftly runs out of the classroom then Joe looks at Abby and pulls up a notepad with "hi" written on it but Abby shows Joe a notebook with the picture of her sticking her tongue out)

Joe

Okay. (he puts his notepad on his desk)

Joe

(gasps) (Nick and Kevin suddenly appear next to Joe) Where'd you guys come from?

Nick

A small town in New Jersey. (puts his guitar on a desk)

Kevin

(speaks on the microphone) What's up, troublemakers?

Shh!

Joe

What are you guys doing here?

Nick

We have to record the new vocals.

Kevin

The record label needs it by the end of the day today.

Joe

If Mr. Smetzer hears me, I'm getting suspended.

Nick

That's a chance I'm willing to take. (puts his hand on Joe's shoulder)

Kevin

Me too. (he puts his hand on Joe's shoulder)

Joe

Oh, thanks a lot, guys. Fine, I'll do it, okay? Just gotta talk to Abby first. (he is about get up from his desk but Kevin and Nick sits Joe back down)

Nick

Your apologies take forever. We'll talk to her for you.

Joe

Wait. Guys-- (Nick and Kevin walk to Abby's desk) (Joe is putting his head down then he puts his head up)

Nick

(introducing himself and Kevin to Abby) Hi. Nick. Kevin. Look, Joe feels really bad about getting you in trouble. He wants to apologize.

Oh, so he sent over two spokesmodels? (looks at Joe) Wow, must be nice not to do any dirty work yourself.

Kevin

Oh, look, the chapter's about forgiveness. (he and Nick walk back to Joe)

Nick

I don't get it. Why do you wanna to go out with... her?

Joe

I don't wanna go out with her.

(opens the door and enters the classroom) Did I hear talking? (shuts the door) Mmm. Something's not right here. Mmm... (looks to the left then the right) Aha! (Joe is afraid that his brothers will be caught by Mr. Smetzer) (laughs) (walks to the back) Yes. (turns the poster but Joe and Abby are smiling) There we are.