Okay, buddy, you can do this. You're one of a kind. (Joe enters the room and sees a roomful of him then he leaves the room and calls Kevin) (phone rings)
It's Joe. Hey, dude. Tell me you nailed it.
There's a roomful of mes in there and I'm freaking out right now.
It's okay. Just calm down. Breathe. Remember everything I told you.
Kevin, we're way past happy face/sad face. How am I supposed to get in front of a famous director and do a love scene with real emotions?
Hang in there, man. I've got an idea.
MMona
This one looks all wrong.
Oh, Mona, this actually is Joe from JONAS.
MMona
Well, okay. Mona Klein, - A huge fan.
MMona
All right, let's rock this. And action!
Don't you get it, Dade? I'm a ghost. Ghosts can't love. They covet. They desire. But they can't love.
I could choose to believe that... But if we never try... They we'll never know what could have been.
MMona
Cut. Is he in love or is he ordering a cheeseburger?
Just give him another chance. He's a little nervous. That was really terrible.
Joe, look at me. You get to be in love with me. It shouldn't be hard.
MMona
You're lucky lunch hasn't arrived yet. All right, one more shot, rock star. What's that Taylor Lautner guy up to? And action!
Don't you get it, Dade? I'm a ghost. Ghosts can't love. They covet. They desire. But they can't love.
I could choose to believe that... But if we never try, then we'll never know what could have been.
Are you kidding me? - Dude, congratulations.
Dude, you might just turn out to be a good director.
Well, I do know how to motivate my actors.
When I saw you in the window, I just felt so...
Hey, sometimes you just need to see a friendly face.
Congratulations, dade! You were wonderful. I could totally feel our energies colliding.
I'm Stella Malone. I love you on "Malibu High." I never miss an episode.
That means so much. Anyway, we're gonna be working together a lot. It's going to be so intense. (Joe mouths)
According to this, the set should be... Over there. Or over there. Dude, you're the director. Which direction are we going?
Relax, okay? We're a little bit lost, we're a little bit late, but look at this place! We are not in Jersey anymore.
Kevin, I was supposed to be in makeup like yesterday.
(laughs) You have to wear makeup. - Ha.
- ( sighs ) There it is. Come on.
Chill. We're in hollywood-- nothing starts on time.
MMona
You're late. Who said you could be late to a Mona Klein set?
- Hi, Ms. Klein, I'm Kevin. I'm Joe's brother. Also a director! - Well, aspiring. But I'm just a big fan.
MMona
- Zip it! You sit down while I decide how I'm gonna punish you.
MMona
- No kidding. This movie is my big comeback. After "Soccer Squirrels 2: Nuts in New York" - They said I'd never work again.
MMona
Well, the critics didn't. But "Forever April" is going to get me back to where I belong. Unless you mess it up, so be on time!
Mona, my yoga class ran over. Sorry I'm late.
MMona
Oh sweetie, what's a few minutes? Take all the time that you need. Oh, the face on that one.
Vanessa, how did you get away with that? Mona totally chewed me out for being late.
I have exited Vanessa. I am now April.
Joe, this is a technique some actors use to prepare. They become the character even when the cameras aren't rolling.
- Yes. April, I can see you.
You're the only mortal I can communicate with and I need - Something.
A bagel-- lightly toasted with the middle scooped out.
MMona
Okay, in this scene, Dade goes to the house where April's spirit lives.
MMona
- Joe, I need you to play this - Scared, yet tough.
MMona
Confident, yet vulnerable.
MMona
- I want big big emotion played in a very very small way.
- Okay, on that one how do I--
- Aren't we gonna rehearse?
MMona
Rehearse? What is this, your high school play? This is the big time. You're a professional actor and every minute on this set costs money.
Excuse me, guys, is everything okay?
- I'm Joe's brother. We've actually met.
MMona
Yuck, family. No thanks. This is why I have birds. Shoo! Cue effects. Cue music. - ( ballad playing ) - And action!
Why do you keep coming here? Nothing good ever happens in this terrible place.
- I just need to be close to you.
- No, you need to forget me. Try, Dade. Pretend I never existed.
But I can feel you all around. In the silence... I hear line!
MMona
- Cut! - Do you not know your lines?
- I do not. I mean, I did. I'm just nervous.
MMona
I'm not paying for nervous. Go again. Cue effects. Music! - ( ballad playing ) - and action!
Why do you keep coming here? Nothing good ever happens in this terrible place.
MMona
Cut! What's the deal? Everybody take five. You get your act together or you're gonna see my dark side. Okay?
Stop saying that. I'm a mess.
- Maybe I just don't belong here.
What does this chair say?
- yes, exactly. "Joe," not Lou, not Ed, but Joe. They wouldn't give you a chair with your name on it if you didn't belong here.
- I'm trying to make a point. You're fine saying the lines with just me.
You don't have a dark side. Mona freaks me out. - What if she fires me?
- I won't let that happen.
MMona
We gotta go much tighter on Joe. Throw a 75 on, okay?
MMona
You just pop up all over the place, don't you?
Yeah. I think I figured out what Joe's problem is.
Yeah, you have a way of saying things that are scary and mean. Joe, on the other hand, likes things that are soft and nice.
- If you could give him rewards, Maybe like treats or snacks, that could really help him.
MMona
Fascinating. You know, I have a different approach.
MMona
- Get him off my set.
- We talked. You're all good. (Kevin screams)
Come on, guys, I've gotta get back to set. My brother needs me. Guys, come on! - (beeps) - Joe, talk to me.
Dude, why did Mona kick you off the set?
Things were said. It's not important. So how you doing?
I am freaking out. You need to get back here.
MMona
Picture's up. Where's Joe?
- Joe? Joe! (tries to enter the set again but the two officers that took Kevin off the set prevented him from entering)
Listen, my brother really needs me. He's back there on set.
EEvie
And I need a three-hour foot massage, followed by a four-hour foot massage. I think we're both gonna be disappointed.
Why do you keep coming here? Nothing good ever happens in this terrible place.
- I just need to be close to you.
- No, you need to forget me. Try, Dade. Pretend I never existed.
Around all you feel can I but. I just said it backwards.
I can feel you all around. I can feel you all around! See, I can say it. (tells Mona)
MMona
(sighs) What about a treat? Let me see, what have I got in my pocket here? I've got some mints, a lipstick. I've got the number of the guy I rear-ended this morning.
- I think I'm past treats.
MMona
- Okay, so what can we do?
- Maybe you hired the wrong guy.
MMona
- I don't make mistakes. I saw you onstage and you were electric! I'm 25 and you made me feel like I'm 12.
MMona
- Shh! Joe, you've sang in front of thousands of people And made them feel everything you wanted to. Bring that guy here, all right? Find your inner rock star. You can do it.
MMona
Cue effects! Music! And action!
Why do you keep coming here? Nothing good ever happens in this terrible place.
- I just need to be close to you.
- No, you need to forget me. Try, Dade. Pretend I never existed.
MMona
And cut! Rock star Joe, welcome to my movie.
That's awesome. See that actor? That's my brother.
MMona
- That was great. That was amazing! Now do you think you can say your lines As well as you sang them in that song?
MMona
- All right, let's go again.
Jonas · 237 quotes
