The last time I got clipped, I got clipped. The guy had no sense of style. I'm a good-lookin' sheep, you know. I got an image to maintain. How would I look with a crewcut? Maybe a flattop. Give me that dangerous sheep look. "Hey, kids, leave that sheep alone. He's got a dangerous haircut." Yeah... I don't know. Maybe a ducktail.
S1 E12Good Neighbor
[reading a feed bag] Wheat germ, flax seed, hay... [annoyed] Oats. That's the trouble with these feed bags. They all end the same. Oats.
What's in the bag?
I don't think it's potatoes.
I wonder what else was in that sack he was draggin' in there.
I'll bet there were some brains in it.
Oh, you think so?
Don't be daft. You don't put brains in a sack.
And why not?
They'd leak all over the place. You put brains in jars. Besides, Fergal doesn't have any brains yet. That's why he's making friends with Molly. So he can take hers.
Janey Mack.
I can't believe he wants Molly's brain! I mean, why couldn't he just take the brain of one of his other mad scientist friends?!
Well, I don't think there are any other mad scientists around here to be friends with.
Jakers! That's why he's making a monster!
What?
Fergal O'Hopper is building a monster to be his friend!
A friend with the brain of your sister, Piggley!
Well, why wouldn't he just make friends with your sister?!
A mad scientist doesn't stop to think of those things. That's why they're mad, Ferny! And I won't have it, I tell you! I'm going over there right now to save Molly!
S1 E13Rock Around the Cluck
[hearing Molly's violin playing] Wowie, wow-wow-wow. What is that? Whatever it is, it's BAA-AA-AAD. It sounds like it's in pain. It must be starving or something. A starving creature is not a good thing for us sheep. We're very tasty, you know. [runs to the flock] Okay, flock, don't panic. Run for your lives!
[The frightened flock stampede, running over Wiley.]
They can't catch you if you zig-zag! [runs after the flock in a zig-zag pattern] Zig-zag, zig-zag, zig-zag!
[hears Molly's violin again] You hear that? It's that sheep-eating thing again. So what are we gonna do? I'll tell you what we're gonna do, I'm glad you asked. We're gonna prepare. We're gonna learn what to do in case that thing stops screaming, and starts looking for a woolly midnight snack. First, we gotta figure out what that thing is. Let's say, it's a lion.
[A sheep bleats with question.]
Okay, Shirley wants to know what a lion is. Who can answer that? [the sheep just look around] It seems like nobody, except me. And take it from me, you don't wanna know. So imagine instead a giant sheep-eating squirrel. [acts ferocious] Baaaaa! Baaaaa! Now, pretend I'm that squirrel. What do we do?
[A giant walnut falls next to Wiley.]
Haha. You know, if I was that squirrel, and I was looking for nuts... you guys would be in big trouble.
Who's Cluck Cockwren?!
[describing his stage fright] And my confidence disappeared faster than a magician's rabbit.
Jakers. The place is packed. Everyone in the whole town is here.
Of course they are. You told them to come, didn't you?
I know, but...
But? But? But what?
Well, uh... What if we're not as good as Cluck Cockwren? What if we're not any good at all?
Oh... But you said we were, Piggley. You told everyone.
Oh... You better not have been messing with us, Piggley. It'd be awfully embarrassing if we were bad after all the fuss you made.
Well, now... I think we're good. But you know... I'm not sure we're as good as Cluck.
Oh, dear...
Oh, Janey Mack...
S1 E14Donkeys Into Racehorses
Would you look at that? We get grass, and the donkey gets fruit! [see a chicken eating a worm] And look at that! The chicken gets spaghetti! From the earth! Earth spaghetti! Who knew? [looks at another worm sticking out from the ground] Would you look at that? I can't eat this. What if I eat him and his friends come looking for him? Worse, what if they find him? Crawl free, buddy. [the worm slithers away] You know, someday, I may be in trouble, and that little squirmy guy might save my life. [the sheep look unamused] ...Yeah, I don't buy it either.
I tell you, I'd never seen anything like it. All that oats made that old donkey run faster than any racehorse I'd ever seen before, or ever seen since. Like the lightning, he was! In fact, faster than lightning!
SSSean and Seamus
Grandpa!
Okay. Maybe not as fast as all of that.
S1 E15Fir Not
We've been visited by a fir darrig.
Far jarry?
Far jagger?
Fir. Darrig. Are you lads ever going to learn to speak the language?
[Describing the fir darrig.]
He's about the size of a leprechaun. With a tail.
And he has whiskers.
And... huge flappy ears.
And little beady eyes. [points to Wiley] Like him!
Me?
And a snout like you wouldn't believe.
And broad shoulders!
And teeny-tiny little feet.
Delicate. Not tiny. Delicate.
Let's face it, Wiley. You got it. And what is "it"? I don't know. That's why it's called "it", instead of... Debbie.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Jakers! The Adventures of Piggley Winks pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.