We've been visited by a fir darrig.
Far jarry?
Far jagger?
Fir. Darrig. Are you lads ever going to learn to speak the language?
“Fir Not” · Season 1, Episode 15
In this episode: Grandpa Piggley Winks (6), Wiley the Sheep (6), Dannan O'Mallard the Duck (4), Ferny (3), Padrig Winks (2), Seamus (1), Sean (1)
[Describing the fir darrig.]
He's about the size of a leprechaun. With a tail.
And he has whiskers.
And... huge flappy ears.
And little beady eyes. [points to Wiley] Like him!
Me?
And a snout like you wouldn't believe.
And broad shoulders!
And teeny-tiny little feet.
Delicate. Not tiny. Delicate.
Let's face it, Wiley. You got it. And what is "it"? I don't know. That's why it's called "it", instead of... Debbie.
[The sheep are chasing after the pie on the fishing line like in a football game.]
Nice recovery by Darla! They don't call her the Wooly Wonder for nothing.
[The aforementioned sheep crashes.]
...Come to think of it, they don't call her the Wooly Wonder.
What a game! What excitement! It's a kaleidoscope of competition! The thrill of victory, the agony of--
[The sheep running with the pie gets its wool pulled off by another. The sheep stops in embarrassment, before the pie is snatched away.]
...a bald sheep with no pie!
[Wiley gets the pie snatched away from him on the fishing line by Piggley, Ferny, and Dannan.]
Now that's fast food.
[The pie has smashed a window on Piggley's house.]
Oh, now you've done it!
Me?!
You shouldn't have pulled so hard!
It was Ferny who put his weight into it!
Oh, but Dannan threw it off balance!
Oh no, I did not!
You did so!
Did not!
Did so!
You were the one in front!
I was barely touching it!
You were stepping on my toes!
You know, we didn't actually see the window break, did we?
Trust me, Piggley. That's a BROKEN window.
If these fine, honest children say that this was done by a fir darrig, then that must have been the case. Why, they would never make up such a story. Everyone knows a fir darrig is a rascal to start with. And if you were to blame him for something he didn't do, well... he could be mean! Even downright spiteful!
I'm gifted enough to perform any kind of story. Mystery? Haha! What's that? I don't know! Romance. Dare I tell you of my love? Dare I let the honeyed words drop slowly from my lips? I dare! Westerns! Howdy, partners. Howdy, ma'am. Reckon I'll head down the trail a piece. Some dude with a rig on his hip is a-takin' to make a heap of trouble, I reckon.
[Padrig is pretending to scold Piggley, Ferny, and Dannan.]
Now, see here, you ruffians! How dare you break a window, then blame a poor innocent fir darrig for your own mischief! For shame! Shame, I say! [Piggley, Ferny, and Dannan beg] A lifetime of peelin' potatoes is too good for the likes of you!
Keep it up, Dad. [he, Ferny, and Dannan go back to begging]
It's cleaning the barn for you, top to bottom, spic and span! And none of ya will see the light of day until the barn is as clean as a whistle!
Please, sir! Anything but that!
It's no use begging for mercy! Me mind's made up!
[Cleaning the barn.]
Oh, this is a powerful big job.
Well, it's a powerful big apology we've got to be giving to the fir darrig.
You know, come to think of it, I never did see that fir darrig.
You're right! We never did! Why, how do we know that there ever was one, and if he was ever truly mad at us?
Oh, Janey Mack! And we gave ourselves all this extra work!
Maybe you're right, lads. But then again... maybe not.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Jakers! The Adventures of Piggley Winks pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.