[Jade is watching TV]
Jade! TV is too loud!
[Jade turns down volume]
STILL too loud!
[annoyed, turns off the TV]
I can hear the electricity in the wires! UNPLUG!
I wish there was a way to unplug Uncle...
S2 E8Armor of the Gods
Jade! The books are laughing at me!
[to herself] Not for long. [to Uncle] Tea, dear Uncle?
Yes. Ha-cha! [sits and takes a sip of the tea] BAGH! Jade! This tea tastes like it was brewed with beard of goat! [sips again] One more thing! It is bitter! One more thing! It is cold! One more thing! [falls asleep]
[gasps; before making sure her sleeping spell worked] Ha-cha!
Black.
Captain Black, I've been trying to reach you for hours!
Sorry, Jackie, company softball game. Guess who hit a home run?
You did? Oh, congradula- no!
[lifting a boulder with the power of the armor after being crushed by it] Didn't feel a thing!
[upon finding a fissure] Earthquake?
Earth Demon.
Dai Gui does not like flowers!
Here comes my favorite part! [mouths Dai Gui's scream]
NO!
How are you feeling, Uncle?
Very well, thank you...except for the Demon screaming in my face! One more thing! I told you the armor was good armor! One more thing! You should never question Uncle!
You should have made Uncle's tea stronger. He is still cranky.
I don't think there's enough tea in China to simmer Uncle down. But I'll take Mr. Sourpuss over Mr. Happypants any old day!
S2 E9Tale of the Demon Tail/Demon in Di-Skies
[Shendu approaches the women's bathroom]
Whoa, boss! You can't go in where no man has gone before.
We are not going in, fool! Hsi Wu the Sky Demon is coming out!
I don't care if you are wearing a dress, Valmont. You are NOT going in the little girl's room!
Hey, Jade, going to the spring dance Friday night?
Eh, was thinking about it.
Who are you gonna go with? A ninja? Or do you only fight them?
[children laugh]
You're a riot, Drew.
[disguised as Seymour] Hey, Drew, who are you gonna go with? Your mother?
No...I... [children laugh at Drew]
KKids
Mama's boy.
This friend of Jade's is too polite.
Uncle, Jade finally has a friend her own age. This could keep her away from portals and demons.
Seymour's loads more fun than any of the other kids at school! We like the same things, and he actually listens to me! We're like Yin and Yang, Yang and Yin.
Good and evil?
Left and right; two halves of the same whole. Duh.
SSeymour
I smell a spell!
[the tail flies towards him; he catches it]
SSeymour
Stee-rike!
You're-you're...
SSeymour
[changing into Hsi Wu] A demon? Still want to go the dance with me?
Not!
What have you done to my tail, sly Uncle?!
Ancient proverb: None of your bees-wax!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Jackie Chan Adventures pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.