TV show quotes
[as the Pan'ku Box reveals the next portal, out in Space] To find this portal, we must travel north. Very north.
Brrr...chilly.
Very, very north.
Okay, check the warranty on the box! We're like halfway to the moon!
Where did you think Tso Lan, the Moon Demon, would be found?
Valmont and his cronies have been spotted in Florida, near Cape Canaveral.
I'm on my way.
[suddenly appears] Hey! Going on a mission, Jackie?
Uh, no! It's not a mission, it's uh, a conference on Feng Shui!
In Minnesota!
Want to come?
Umm, I would Jackie, but you know I have that new science project to cook up.
Uhh, don't we need like, astronaut training?
Climb aboard!
[surprises Jackie] Hi Jackie!
Jade!
[her space suit is draping over her] Check out the monkey-suit. Literally.
But, how did you-
[holds up the Rabbit Talisman] Speed Talisman. Fastest way to get to...Minnesota?
[taking over the Space Station Headquarters] This is a Level Seven override. My engineers will take it from here.
...okay.
Chan?!
Everybody's an astronaut.
The eagle has landed!
Tso Lan, so good to see you.
Skip the pleasantries, Shendu. I am interested only in seizing control of the Moon's gravity, so that I may pull the ball from its orbit.
But- But that'll wreck all of Earth's ecosystems!
How do you know?
I watch the Science Network! [Ratso blows a raspberry at Jade]
The child is correct. And only then will Earth's landscape be to my liking.
Whoa! He wants to kabosh the planet!
And you made us let him out?!
Just be glad you are up here.
[after Jackie knocks the Dark Hand into the trash pod]
Shendu...I despise you.
I heard that!
Behold, my mastery of gravity.
[after banishing Tso Lan] So long, Tso Lan.
[jumping along the Moon's surface] My science project is gonna rock! [does the moon dance]
[as the spear he's using to fight Shadowkhan disintegrates] Heh...termites...
Jackie! [Jackie jumps in surprise, dropping the armor he's carrying] You are too loud!
Uncle, you are the one who's yelling!
[gasp] You dishonor the only known existing relic of the Eight Immortals!
Ye-eh-You caused me to drop it!
[gasp] You dishonor your Uncle!
[very sleepy] Hey Jackie...
Jade, what are you doing up?
"Old Yeller" is keeping us all up. He hasn't slept in days!
Tohru! Where is my tea?!
[sleeping standing up and holding tea] Er, what? [falls asleep again, pouring tea on the floor]
Aiya!
Uncle, why won't you sleep?
Because, I have demons on the brain! I lay down, and all I hear is "Chi spell! Chi spell! Chi spell!"
Have you tried counting sheep?
Demons always eat them.
Well...thank you for watching Jade. [proceeds to leave]
Where are you going?! We must study the Immortal's Armor and discover what magic it holds!
Now? It is 3 AM Uncle. You should really try to sleep. [cell phone rings]
How can I sleep with all this noise?!
[answers phone] Yes?
Jackie, we've spotted the Dark Hand.
I'm on my way!
Care to know where you're going?
I don't care. Anywhere but here.
Okay...
....[hangs up phone] Uncle, I'm off to Spain! I will call you for the Chi spell, once I find out what Demon we're dealing with. [begins to leave fast]
Take the armor, it could be of some use!
But you have to discover what magic it holds!
How can I do that if you take it with you?!
[in the streets of Spain]
Festive.
I'm telling you Pamplona's famous for something.
It must be the paella.
Ohh! The thing they hit with the stick until candy comes out?
That would be a piñata, Ratso. This is Spain, not Mexico.
[Jade is watching TV]
Jade! TV is too loud!
[Jade turns down volume]
STILL too loud!
[annoyed, turns off the TV]
I can hear the electricity in the wires! UNPLUG!
I wish there was a way to unplug Uncle...
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Jackie Chan Adventures pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
