Major Lilywhite quotes from IZombie

What do you think of my latest business venture? Your girlfriend gives it her old zombie stamp of approval.

Major Lilywhite

Liv doesn't...

No, she's totally down with me getting my brains from people that don't need them anymore. We're BFF's now. Who else is gonna feed Seattle's zombies? At least until you kill them all, right?

Major Lilywhite

I'm not killing...

Shhh, the lying to save your life section comes later.

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Uh, Major.

Major Lilywhite

Yeah?

I know where you live. I know where Liv, um, lives. Give me my dad or things are gonna get ugly fast, okay?

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Liv Moore

I'm not palling around with him. One of the weird, um, 'perks', at my job is that I get to know just about every funeral director in the city.

Major Lilywhite

You didn't tell me.

Liv Moore

Yeah, because I thought you would do something unwise with the information. Drop by the grenade store.

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I'm gonna need my dad back. God, do I miss that man. [Blaine tries to cry] Nope. Can't do it. You need me to show you a photo, or?

Major Lilywhite

No, I have no doubt which one is your dad. Imperious, fancy dresser, owns a bust of himself.

[Blaine smiles] That's the guy!

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Major Lilywhite

My handlers don't care which zombie I take out next as long as I make my way steadily down my list.

And they have you freeze them?

Major Lilywhite

They think I'm killing them.

Killing sounds easier.

Major Lilywhite

Yeah, except I'm not a murderer.

I bet you tell that to all the families grieving for their loved ones.

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[last lines]

Major Lilywhite

[Major, Ravi and Liv find the dead body in the open field] Oh! Whoo!

Whoo-hoo! Whoo! Yeah! Yay!

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[first lines]

[Ravi tells Major and Liv what he salvaged from their unburied Utopium bodies] Stomach acid ate through all of the tainted Utopium-filled condoms they swallowed, but luckily, one of them had the good sense to stash these in their prison wallet, allowing me to salvage enough powder...

Major Lilywhite

If not your dignity.

...to create more cure.

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Major Lilywhite

Now, imagine how put out the guy who invented the polio vaccine must've been. You know, what with all the impatient children dying of polio stacking up.

Jonas Salk is the man's name. Perhaps if he'd score a touchback for the Huskers.

Major Lilywhite

Or a touchdown for the Huskies.

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[Major and Ravi see New Hope the test rat subject dead in its cage]

Major Lilywhite

It's not like whatever happens to this rat happens to me.

Oh! Hey! Maybe he's grown wings and like super powerful... [when both Major and Ravi find New Hope dead] Balls.

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Major Lilywhite

Have I not been doing a good job?

Well, you know what? Let's find out. [Vaughn Du Clark shakes a little black 8 ball on his desk, reading] 'Ask again later.'

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Major Lilywhite

You didn't know?

That you were doing the feather bed jig with my daughter? Um, no?

Major Lilywhite

Your...

[Vaughn yells out] Daughter!

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[Blaine startles Major] What's the word? 'Boo?'

Major Lilywhite

This is you? You're a zombie again?

Yep. Back on the brain gang. Dang.

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Major Lilywhite

I got the impression I might have longer.

Yeah, I don't think Ravi factored in microchondrial metabolism as an effect of interaction... Whoa. I'm so sorry. This nerd brain I ate is so annoying.

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Just finished my keynote for Rager-Con '16, and it's not even 10:00. [Vaughn chuckles] Super Max, man. Super Max! I mean, my mental energy is like, it's... It's off the charts. And physically? Forget it. Ask the Air Gaulle flight attendant how many petits morts she morted last night? Go ahead.

Major Lilywhite

Sounds like a personal question for a total stranger.

Six! You're welcome! Saved you the embarrassment.

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Liv Moore

What is happening over there?