Gilda quotes from IZombie

Let me tell you a story. When we first came up with the 'Suspected Zombies' list, Vaughn's idea was to send them all letters, zombies and non-zombies alike, informing them they'd won an all-expense-paid Hawaiian cruise. And then scuttle the ship in the middle of the Pacific. Your work, distasteful as you find it, saves lives.

Let me in. Dad! Let me in! Dad! [Rita screams and grunts] Let me in! Let me in!

Just punch in 876-5309. What can I say? Dad loves the '80s.

It's like watching my mother try to refold a map. The cane is right there. It's right there!

This is what I'm telling you. This is as far as I can go with these mindless shamblers. Now, if we're gonna make any real headway with the Super Max recipe, we need the DNA of a coherent, intelligent, functional zombie. You live with a functional zombie. Can you get me some of her blood?

Are you thinking she keeps a vial of it in her makeup drawer, or are you expecting me to shiv her?

Good news is you're not dead. Bad news is you have to come up with some other excuse for not responding to my text.

Major Lilywhite

Yeah, well, I didn't get it until this morning. But it did make my heart flutter. 'U, up?' You stole my heart in those three characters.

Whatever. You have to earn me spelling words out in their entirety.

So, how many zombies removals can I put you down for this week?

Major Lilywhite

I don't know. How many people are you going to murder this week?

Not people. Zombies. How about we shoot for two. Go big or go home, I say.

Liv Moore

[Liv hints towards sex] So, those nights you didn't come home...

I'm loud. Seriously, I sound like a cartoon character being murdered. I wouldn't want to put you through it. And what about you? It's like a convent up in here.

Liv Moore

Whatever happened to Magic Mike, that super-hot guy you hired?

Let's just say he's done some quality work underneath me.

[Gilda finds Liv in their kitchen, as Liv downs a bottle of hot sauce out of the fridge] Good morning, stranger. Hangover cure?

Liv Moore

Just a weird craving. At least it's not hollandaise sauce, right?

[Gilda exhales] Ugh. Mystery solved. Yellow represents its urine flavor. Can you register some concern with my news? You had me move in with her, so you wouldn't get blind-sided by this sort of thing.

Vaughn Du Clark

Stay on task, sweetie.

[Gilda coughs at the second sample] Go with the urine-flavor.

Wait! Who is this? Where's Dr. Irving?

Vaughn Du Clark

Oh, lab accident. Dr. Lockett's getting his big break.

[scoffs] They're like drummers for Spinal Tap.

So, the thought of a zombie who works for the police and hates you, finding out we're killing zombies really isn't worth worrying about?

Vaughn Du Clark

Okay, so you really think she's going to go to all her cop buddies, and say, 'Hey, everyone! Zombies exist!' 'Let's go arrest all those guys who rid the world of zombies.' Please.

Maybe. Or maybe she just gets hungry one night and decides to eat you.

Vaughn Du Clark

As I know you've already redecorated my office in your mind, you can only hope.

I'll be going with a mid-century vibe. Desk facing north. Warhol originals. Your Elon Musk Bobble-head in the trash.

Liv Moore

Well, I started out just looking for one name. But once I started poking around, I started noticing all these chicks throwing themselves at my man. Oh, 'So true, Major. Violence is bad. Keep fighting the good fight.' Classic whore line. 'A bunch of us are going out for karaoke. You should come with.' Toss your panties at him, Jezebel.

Wow!

Well, look who's home for once.

Liv Moore

[Liv talks at her laptop] You slut!

[Gilda hesitates] Um... Whatcha doing?

Liv Moore

Making a list of all the women who comment or post on Major's Facebook entries. This is bad, huh?

It isn't good.