NOW PREPARE YOURSELF DIB, AS I BRING OUR ROYAL AUDIENCE TO THE DESTRUCTION OF MANKIND!!!!
[hiding on shelf with rake} but I don't wanna watch that....
Oh, okay then... WAIT! THAT'S TOO BAD!!!
S2 E2Backseat Drivers From Beyond the Stars
My Tallest! My Tallest, hey, my Talleeeeest! My Tallest! My, my, my my Tallest! My Taaaaallest! Hey! Hey! Hey over here, my Tallest! My Tallest? My TallEST! My Tallest! My Tallest! Hey, my Tallest, my Tallest, my Tallest! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! My Tallest! My Tallest! My TaaaaaallEST! My Tallest. My TALLest! Hey! MAH TALLEEEEST! MY TALLEST! MY TALLEST! MY TALLEST! My TaaAAALLest! Hey! Hey! My Tallest? Uh, hi! My Tall! Hey my Tallest! It's me! Look at me! My Tallest? My Tallest! My Tallest?
I was curious to see when you would shut up on your own. But it's been THREE hours now, Zim! THREE HOURS! So... what is it?
I just noticed that you're traveling closer to the Earth than EVER before!
How do you know that?
Oh, I know all kinds of things about you. Pretty creepy, huh? Anyhow, I was...
Hey! That is creepy. You're creepy, Zim.
Heh heh. Yes, I sure am. Anyhow, since you're so nearby, you can see me initiate my newest, most DIABOLICAL PLAN TO DESTROY THE HUMANS! I made sandwiches!
Uh, look, Zim, err... maybe we'll stop by on our way back from... wherever we're going.
But--
Sorry, Zim! Uh, we're being... attacked! [pushes Almighty Tallest Purple] By an enemy vessel! Ooh! Oohh! Gotta go! Gotta go! [signals one of the crew mates to cut the transmission. The transmission with Zim is cut and Almighty Tallest Purple gets back up.] "Enemy vessel" - ha! As though anyone would dare go up against the Massive.
Yeah, that is pretty funny. [pointing aside] HEY, SOMEONE'S MAKING DONUTS! [he and Tallest Red both cheer]
That's a Vort ship! I didn't think there were any of those left! Call them and tell them we're gonna blow 'em up! Hah!
[Scene cuts to the Resisty's ship]
LNLard Nar
They're hailing us! They're hailing us! Oh, quick! We need a name! We can't form a resistance and not have a name!
SShloonktapooxis
How 'bout the pirate monkeys! It's a awesome name.
LNLard Nar
Hmmm... No. We need something scary! Something to strike fear into all who hear of the resistance!
I got it! I got it!
[Scene cuts back to the Massive. Tallest Red is playing with a puppet]
Identify yourselves.
LNLard Nar
[disguised deep voice] We are the Resisty! And we have come to-
Whoa, whoa whoa. Did you say the Resisty?
LNLardy Nar
Yes, yes the Resisty! Anyhow, we have come to-
That's a stupid name.
LNLardy Nar
[regular voice] See! I told you it was stupid! Why do I keep listening to yours?
I don't know.
Is that Irken equipment you're using? That's Tak's ship you're sitting in, isn't it?
Yes it is, Zim. It fell from the...
Isn't it!?
I SAID IT WAS! Man, you have a problem with listening, Zim.
ISN'T IT!?!?
That's bad manners, son! I guess we haven't taught you well enough! We don't spend enough quality time together. [hugs Zim's head; grunts] TIME TO LEARN YOU A LESSON! [grabs Zim by the head and lifts him up, striking a pose]
RRoboMom
Awww... I'm gonna get the camera!
[breaking the door open and sticks his head through] Come on, son! Let's go PLAY in the TOILET!
TSTak's ship
Security defense systems activated! Intruder detected. Get your filthy alien meat out of the cockpit.
What the…?! Tak?!
TSTak's ship
Almost. I'm Tak's downloaded personality interface and it seems you've stolen me.
[yells as he is tossed out of the ship] No! The Massive's almost here! You gotta let me in!
S2 E3Mortos Der Soulstealer
GIR! Another mutant biting thing!
Yes, my vermin lord!
[Dib and Zim are on opposite sides of the road]
Zim!
What?!?
Zim!
What?!?
Zim!
What?!?
[screaming] You won't get away with it!!
[struggling to hear Dib] ...that's very nice of you.
No! Your plan, I'm going to stop you! I got a secret weapon!
Where is it?
Around...
Can it protect you from ... T-T-T-T-THIS?! [GIR opens up the top of his puppy suit]
SAMMICH! [his head opens and a sandwich flies out, hitting Dib and knocking him against the wall]
[Zim laughs maniacally as the two begin to walk off]
I had a sammich in my head!
Laugh now, space monster! But my weapon is so powerful, it... buys rubber pants!
[finishing his soda] Ah, Refreshing! Mortos grant wish now! [to Dib] What you want again? Hello?
[Dib, busily wrestling Zim, doesn't hear Mortos. Da' Cone walks by Mortos]
DCDa' Cone
Wee-hoo! I wish I had me some ice cream!
Your wish is granted!
[Mortos summons a demon ice cream man that hands the pedestrian an ice cream cone]
DCDa' Cone
Well whaddya know? [takes a lick] Ew, raisin.
[He throws the ice cream to the ground]
Noooo!
Mortos so weak... I need to go return now...
Nooo! Mortos, you still owe me!
Maybe next time you not be so cheap with Mortos. See you in a thousand years!
PUPPY!! [licks the window]
No, GIR! You can eat later! [pulls GIR away from the window]
Zim! I don't know what your plan is, but I'm going to stop you!
I am infecting the city with genetically mutated vermin, but you'll never know!
You just told me.
... YOU'RE LYING!!!!
[While Dib watches the scene using a spy camera installed into Zim's house]
Guess who made waffles!
I'm not going to eat-
[screams]
Enough! I shall try some already! [takes a bite] Well, they don't seem to be making me sick. You know, I think this will be a good way to build a tolerance to the human's filthy food! Okay, GIR. I will try-
Hehehehehehe! [runs to get more waffles]
And as soon as I'm done with these waffles, I will discuss my evil plan!
[Zim is reading a newspaper while he is being watched by Dib]
Hey look, they're gonna start making artificial beavers.
He's after our beaver technology! Is this his next evil plan?
Well, time to work on my next evil plan...
Talk about perfect timing!
GGreg
Thanks for calling the FBI, my name is Greg, how may I help you?
I have an emergency! There's a kid who's-
GGreg
[laughing] Hey, wait. You're... Dib, right? Did you ever get that ninja ghost out of your toilet?
Yes, no thanks to you!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Invader Zim pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.