Why does he have two bullet holes in his eyes?
Those are his eyes?
That was...not right.
All S1
S1 E15Unfinished Business
You know as well as I do, that when you're making a TV show, sometimes things just don't happen the way they're supposed to.
That's probably what's in this clip package. See? "Things That Didn't Happen The Way They Were Supposed To." Should I click it?
I think you have to.
You know what really wastes time on set?
What?
Everyone acting all silly, and being goofy, and laughing, and just being unprofessional!
I think you're exaggerating.
No...here, let's watch this clip, labeled "Everyone Acting All Silly, And Being Goofy, And Laughing, And Just Being Unprofessional."
Dan sent me some directions via text message. (his phone rings) Let me clear this message here...I will act better.
VVictoria
(after kicking Jerry to the floor) I'm sorry! (laughs)
She kicked me and she started talking to people!
NNoah
Check out what it says if I play every fourth word.
EEthan
Happy birthday!
NNoah
(laughs) What...
RReed
THIS IS A MOCKERY! EAT POPCORN! (laughs) Oh, no, don't eat popcorn!
"Carly's a chicken, Carly's lame, Carly's...Carly." Sorry. (laughs) I forgot my name.
(turns to camera) I'm Carly.. I'm not Carly. (turns back)
His last words were, "Why, Miles, why?"
His name's Oliver. (Miranda laughs)
She's a very sophisticated woman. I can't have her thinking I spend my time hanging with teenagers doing goofy stuff!
That's like, all you do!
Yeah, but I can't have her thinking that! She wears pantyhose!
[As Gibby, who is sitting on a chair, puts on his sock, Carly picks up a bean bag chair and throws it aside. She picks up two water bottles.]
Hey, Carly.
Yeah?
Um– [Points on his foot] –is it weird if a guy grows hair between his toes?
Why? Do you?
No.
[Runs in] Carly! Did you see Sam's email?
No, what email?
She's in jail!
[Gibby stands up.]
What? What happened?
[Shows Carly something on his phone] She was at the jiffy mart, buying a snack, and a guy cut in front of her. So she shoved a hot chili dog down his pants, and it turns out the guy was an ambassador from Mexico.
[Groans angrily] Sam! So then what happened?
He yelled– [Speaks in Spanish] "Los frijoles calientes quema mis pantalones! Ohhhhh!"
No! I mean, with Sam!
[Speaks in English] Oh. Uh, the cops showed up and took her down to juvie.
[Carly groans angrily.]
Her mom's on her way there, but Sam says there's no way she's getting out till tomorrow.
So you're canceling iCarly?
Well, I don't see how we're gonna be able to do the show–
No, we're not canceling iCarly. We've never canceled the show, and my dad's watching it live tonight for the first time.
[Confused] I thought Spencer was your dad.
[Annoyed] Gibby!
Well, how are we gonna do the show without Sam?
[Gets an idea] Spencer!
[As Carly and Freddie run out of the studio, Gibby picks up scissors, sits down on the chair, and takes off his sock.]
Normal, here I come. [Starts cutting hair between his toes]
(talking very fast) Freddie says "In 5, 4, 3, 2…", then points at us, then we introduce the show. Then after that we go to that wheel over there and do a bit called "Put that in your man purse", which you don't know about but just play along and you'll figure it out as we go.
Why doesn't Freddie say "in five, four, three, two, one"?
No one knows!
I know.
No one cares! Now hurry, take your jacket and glasses off!
But I look so sophisticated.
This is iCarly! We don't do sophisticated! (slaps Spencer lightly)
[Gibby comes downstairs. He walks over to the sink, turns on the water, and starts washing his mouth out as Candace, who is sitting at the table, watches on. Gibby picks up the nozzle and uses it to wash his mouth. He puts down the nozzle and turns off the water. Gibby picks up the cloth and uses it to wipe his mouth. He puts down the cloth, then takes off his shirt and throws it down.]
[Notices Candace] 'Sup?
CCandace
Hi.
[As Gibby goes upstairs, Candace sits looking confused.]
[Spencer runs out of the studio. He passes by Gibby, who is buttoning his new shirt while walking into the studio.]
Okay, after the wet hair thing, play a couple more clips while I set up for "Hey, what am I licking?"
'Kay.
Who's gonna be the licker?
You. [Pulls Gibby away]
[Excited] Awesome!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's iCarly pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.