TV show quotes
I hear you're really good. So why don't you beat me?
Oh, you don't think I can, do you?
I know you can't. But I like a challenge.
You know, I feel scared and attracted to you at the same time.
Are you guys gonna make out, or play some Pak-Rat?
STOP WATCHING THE VIDEO GAME CHANNEL, YA BIG BUNCH OF LOSERS! YOU'RE WASTING YOUR LIVES! GET A JOB, KISS A GIRL, DO SOMETHING! (to the news reporter) No offense.
Nice game.
Thanks. Back atcha.
You wanna go for a ride?
I would love to. [sees Carly, Sam, and Freddie looking at him] But, this is all I can give you right now. [kisses Sasha]
[steps on the elevator] Call me.
We'll see.
(Carly is sleeping on the Pak-Rat machine after having played it all night)
Carly? Carls? Hey?
(sleepy) Hmmmmmm?
Did you play Pak-Rat all night?
Mm-hmm. It's so fun.
Yeah. Alright, kiddo. Go on up to bed.
Carry me. (he does) It's such a fun game.
I know.
Oh, man. I got another of those chain letter e-mails from Gibby.
Well, you better forward it, or you'll have all kinds of bad luck, just like Freddie did.
Freddie didn't have any bad luck.
What are you talking about?
I did all that stuff.
What? Wait. His bike falling apart?
I loosened some bolts.
His laptop smoking?
Shorted out the battery.
The pink shorts?
One red sock in his washing machine.
Okay, what about the spider on his face?
That was just lucky.
Hey.
Hi. I gotta tell you something.
You're gonna tell me that there was no bad luck? That Sam did all that stuff to me?
How'd you know?
Well, I didn't know when it was my pink shorts and my laptop, but I saw her loosening the bolts on my bike.
But I thought your bike fell apart while you were riding it?
Nope. I just pretended on that one.
So, you're not gonna try to get her back?
You mean, do something devious, like send her a fake text message that looked like it came from Gary Wolf, telling her to meet him at the Crown Ridge Mall?
[chuckles in disbelief] I didn't know you could be so bad.
You squished my trackpad finger!
That's not something a cool person says.
I don't care! [to Sam] So are you gonna pay us back or what?
I was until I realized how much it'd be.
How much do you have?
Let's see. [reaches into pocket] I've got... 14 bucks... a double A battery... some string, a fork, and... I think that's an olive.
The olive's moving.
[grabs a fire extinguisher and bangs the table for a while] ... I got it.
Are you having some kind of lip seizure?
I'm trying to blend coconut lip gloss and pineapple lip gloss to create a Piña Colada flavor. [rubs lips together] I realize this isn't attractive.
Actually, it kinda is. So, does it taste like Piña Colada?
You wanna find out?
Yes!
(reading a text message) "Sam did nothing wrong. She didn't do the thing you're mad about. She's not that kind of... girf."
Girf?
Girl!
Well, you wrote girf!
CARLY! CARLY, COME DOWN HERE! CARLY! CARLY!
Spencer, it's 6:00 in the morning.
I know, but I've got big news!
I can't take you seriously when you're wearing duck pajama pants. (Spencer pulls down his pants) Duck boxers?
...But wait. The fudge balls aren't free.
No, but when you subtract the cost of the fudge balls from the money our fans sent us, we still make $541 in profit. And Spencer wins the bike for the little sunshine girl.
...But wait. What do we do with the money?
Well, we get to keep $541, and Sam owes us $526, so we give Sam the $526, and then she can pay us back and quit her stupid job.
...But wait.
Stop saying "But wait"!
Sam's not gonna take the money from us.
Why wouldn't she?
It's a pride thing. It's why she won't quit her job. If we just give her the money, she won't feel like she really paid us back.
Yeah. Okay, how about this?
Yeah?
We find some adult that Sam doesn't know.
Okay.
And we give him the $526 and then he gives the money to Sam as a tip at the restaurant.
That's brilliant.
Isn't it?
...But wait.
WHAT?!
That leaves an extra $15.
Yeah, $5 for me, $5 for Sam and $5 for you; Go nuts!
[looking at his ribs in the form of a necklace] You ate my ribs?
I made the bones into a necklace! [Spencer lifts the bones out of the Styrofoam to see she did just that]
Morning, girls. Check me out.
What?
[lifts up shirt] No belt. And look-- [lifts up pants] Open-toed shoes.
[sarcastically] Wow, you're an animal.
But I thought your mom always makes you wear a belt, and never lets you wear open-toed shoes.
Yeah, but since she's been taking care of Lewbert, I can pretty much do whatever I want. Last night? Slept with my socks on.
So?
Just my socks.
[crunchy cheese snack pieces fall out of her mouth in shock]
[Spencer spills his soda on the bell to put out a small fire he caused after he fixed it. Mrs. Benson walks in]
Hello, Spencer.
Hi, Mrs. Benson.
Any word on how Lewbert's doing?
He's ok. I've got the kids keeping an eye on him.
Well, I think it's very nice that you're covering for Lewbert until he's feeling better. [Mrs. Benson puts her hand on the desk] Why is this counter wet and sticky?
Oh, well--
[stammers]
Wet and sticky is very icky. Sticky and wet makes mommy upset.
I don't know how to respond to that.
[the CB radio makes noise]
--come back.
What is that?
Oh, it's an old C.B. Radio. I found it back there with Lewbert's stuff. I just plugged it in and it works great.
A C.B. Radio. Like the kind that truck drivers use to talk to each other?
Yeah, you wanna try?
No!
Oh, come on. It's really fun. All you do is just press this-- [Mrs. Benson interrupts him]
I don't like wireless transceivers. [She walks upstairs]
Hello, all you truckers out there. This is the doorman looking for someone to jaw with. [Rock N' Rodney replies back]
Hey, hey there, doorman! You got Rock N' Rodney on this end, come on back.
Well, hey, they’re Rock N' Rodney. I'm new to the CB Radio world and I was just-- [suddenly the fire he put out comes back and he puts down the speaker] HOW?!
Quit that!
What if I don't?!
[Mr. Chambers enters the lobby]
Hey, hey! What's going on?
Is he your son?
Yeah.
Well, he's been playing a racquetball in here even though I keep telling him to knock it off.
That's it. You're grounded.
Yeah! [Chuck angrily climbs up on the counter and attacks him until Mr. Chambers pulls him away] Get him off me!
[threateningly] I'LL GET YOU!
Have fun (being) locked in your room!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's iCarly pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
