Allison Cameron quotes from House

Thirteen

We should have him spend a night in the sleep lab, see if he gets a reflex erection.

Dr. House

Confirmation is for wimps and altar boys! We don't need to wait for a reflex. If he can't get engorged the way god intended, he can't get engorged. [looks at Dr. Cameron]

Dr. Cameron

I'm not showing him my boobs.

Dr. House

Lack of response to your chest tells us nothing. Thirteen, show him y... [he glances at Thirteen's chest] ...I gotta find a decent set of knockers around here. [he wanders off]

Dr. Cameron

Your porn is in the second drawer.

Cameron

With the risk of infection Chase won't actually -

House

He's not going to do surgery in some crazy dude's house.

Cameron

You just said -

House

What I said was that Chase would put him under at the house, we'd take him into the hospital, open him up, do our thing, then slip him back into his room for the post-op, without him ever finding out that we tricked him. So that was implied.

Cameron

It's unethical.

House

He'll be asleep.

Cameron

He gets to make his own calls, even if he's asleep.

Chase

Right, forget about the patient. What is going on with you? This is why we left House's team. To avoid this constant flood of pure craziness.

Cameron

It's why I left House. You got fired.

House

Hey, Cameron, how would you like your old job back? I'm asking because it's the only way I can fire you.

Cameron

Sorry, in ER we like to actually resuscitate dying people, not just let them flop around.

House

Love what you're wearing. Brings out the blue in the case file, means it's not from the ER. So why are you here?

Cameron

Because Dr. Cuddy is not here. She's decided to spend some more time with the baby for a while. I'm taking over some of her day-to-day responsibilities. Like baby-sitting you.

House

Interesting. You have your whole life ahead of you. So why would Cuddy want you to die so young?

Cameron

She figured I spent three years working for you, I was innoculated.

House

Some people thought you were gonna be brutal. Marking your territory.

Cameron

Who?

House

Nobody. Just because I call him 'nobody' doesn't make me a racist.

Cameron

I am not gonna play games. If you come to me with a request and it makes medical sense, I'll say yes.

House

I need oral sex. [Cameron stares at House.] Pretty sure biological imperative qualifies as medical sense.

Cameron

Can I return my phone call now?

House

I don't really see how that's gonna be possible.

Cameron

How do you think House is doing?

Foreman

That's why you're here?

Cameron

Yeah.

Foreman

No it isn't. Even if House is messed up by Kutner's suicide, wouldn't matter. He already thinks that life is nasty, brutish and long. And misery helps his diagnostic skills.

House

Your favor's repaid. Patient's cured. He's already packing for another Earth Day extravaganza next week.

Cameron

He almost died. Can't take a few days at home with his family?

House

People only change after trauma if they wanted to change before the trauma. Or if they watched too many after school specials.

Cameron

You're talking about Chase.

House

Talking about you. You lost husband number 1... No surprise the death of colleague would make you question another long term lease.

Cameron

You're teaching commitment classes. 'Cause I thought you were busy with your lecture...

House

[interrupts] I'm sure that was gonna be hysterical. Let me just give the cliffs notes. Don't try to dump him by dumping cases on me.

House

Absolutely. You want him to dump you. It's totally different, much less guilt. Either way, you're out of reasons to avoid him. Kutner was a pretty dumb one to begin with.

Cameron

You saw House, how was he?

Foreman

He was... good. He was honest, took responsibility. It was kind of weird.

Chase

What I did may be the worst thing I ever did. It may be the best I'm either a murderer or a guy who stopped a mass murderer. But I did it. Me. And even if it destroys me, I'd do it again today.

Cameron

You don't mean that. This isn't you.

Chase

I'm not running away from what I did because you want to pretend I never did it.

House

Your husband killed a patient, and you're breaking up with me?

Cameron

You ruined him. So he can't even see right from wrong. Can't even see the sanctity of human life any more. [long pause] I loved you. And I loved Chase. I feel sorry for you both, for what you've become, because [her voice starts to break] there's no way back for either of you.

Chase

You had a conversation with House, you came back, informed me I'd been forever poisoned by him, and started packing.

Cameron

Interesting how your story leaves out the part where you murdered another human being.

Cameron

I still don't know why I said that. It's not even true. I did love you. Just... not in a way that would have ever worked.

Chase

Why not?

Cameron

Because everything you said is true. I'm a mess. I married a man I knew was dying. So... God knows how screwed up I already was. Him dying messed me up even more. I pushed you out of my life. And I'm-I'm un-unfixable. Not you.

House

Is this Hell, an eternity of everyone I know trying to convince me to live?

Who says I'm here to convince you to live?