Gregory House quotes from House

House

I know "heart" and "head" start with the same three letters, but you gotta read all the way to the end.

House

You know, people hate people who have theories about people.

House

[to Wilson] My mom didn't call Cuddy, she called you! I knew you couldn't stay away. I knew you loved me too much.

House

[to Wilson] My ringtone for you is "Dancing Queen" by ABBA.

House

[to Thirteen] You're gonna keep spiraling. Keep screwing around. Keep slashing away at every person who tries to help until no one tries to help anymore. Till you hit bottom. Till you're dead. Until then... I can use you.

House

There's no unconditional love, it's just unconditional need. Don't make this child a victim of your biological clock.

House

Now it's time to say those magic words you'll be telling her for the rest of her life: "Mommy's got to go to work."

House

If you don't think your life is worth more than someone else's, sign your donor card and kill yourself.

House

Good idea. Oh, damn, I left my CT machine in my other pants.

House

I need to slap you. For diagnostic purposes. Seriously, if I was jerking you around I'd say that I needed to kick you in the groin.

House

Wow! Muscles and curves! My penis is so confused!

House

I'm happy for you. A love so deep you're ready to chuck your medical license to give her powerful, unproven drugs with dangerous side effects. I don't want to make assumptions about your feelings for me, but I do have a birthday coming up.

House

Shocks without shock, an itch that won't stop. She needs Dr. Seuss.

House

So Father Nietzsche has AIDS...

House

Religion is not the opiate of the masses, religion is the placebo of the masses.